Sharing greetings of the season

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Phew! Today I posted the last of my Christmas cards and sent my final e-mail greetings. I take the scale of this as a sign of the abundance of people who contribute to my life.

You, too, dear Readers. With this in mind, I share my greetings with you. Of course my newsletter (mentioned below) is not attached – still if you would like to receive a copy or to join my circulation list, please e-mail me directly at dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk.

“These are days when many are discouraged.
In the 93 years of my life, depressions have come and gone.
Prosperity has always returned and will again.”

John D. Rockefeller
1932

Dear friends

As 2008 draws to a close, we are surrounded by the signs of a deepening and world-wide recession. Whatever our circumstances, whatever our response, 2009 will bring new challenges to us all. For many of us, these challenges will lie outside our prior experience. Perhaps we are young enough to be experiencing the first major recession of our lives. Perhaps our experience of recession is radically different, because of the responsibilities we have now that we did not have last time round.

No matter what our experience of the current recession, we get to choose our response. For this reason, I have chosen in my December newsletter to return to a subject I have written about before and to ask: 2009: a time of scarcity or abundance? I have also invited you to your own personal exploration in my accompanying paper, Whatever the Weather, Choosing Abundance Whatever the Climate. And whether or not you are a regular subscriber, I am choosing to attach my newsletter and accompanying paper.

I close the year with a deep sense of abundance and I want to express my gratitude to you for your role in that. You are my readers: the people who send cheery messages in response to my writing and encourage me to stay in touch. You are my clients: the people with whom I work in coaching partnership to produce major and minor miracles; the people with whom I look across whole organisations to ask, what can we do that will make the difference? And, dare I say it, you are my sales team! For even whilst I continue to explore new ways to help those people to reach me who can most benefit from our work together, the majority of new clients continue to come to me because you choose to refer them to me. I thank you all.

Sending you heartfelt wishes for a Christmas, 2008 and a New Year, 2009, which are happy, abundant and prosperous.

Dorothy Nesbit
Coach to Leaders

Celebrating my niece and her work

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Well, it’s already a few months since I signed up, together with my niece Rebecca and my nephew Edward, for a course with the Writers Bureau. (That’s ‘Writers’ with no possessive apostrophe).

We all have different reasons for taking the course. Rebecca is approaching the end of her PhD and a career in scientific journalism is an option for her. Edward is a composer and also a great reader. For him, writing offers the occasional distraction. Belatedly, I have become consciously aware of how much I love to write. The course has become the vehicle for exploring this great love and what I might do with it.

Our first assignment was simple. I decided to submit one of my blog postings and was told I had got off to a flying start. The second assignment requires far more effort – to identify and research a target publication and to prepare an article for submission. I have identified my target publication and await my first copy.

Course or no course, my niece is striding ahead. Today she sent me a link to an article about her PhD research, into the migration patterns of butterflies and moths. You can read it at http://www.lablit.com/article/442#top.

I have no reason to feel proud – her work is all her own – and still, I notice that something in me is bursting forth. I try some words on for size: “It gives me so much joy to see her work coming to fruition”. And somehow, words do not seem enough to describe my sense of celebration.

When work gives way to rest

Coaching,

Whilst most of my clients are sponsored by their employing organisations, Monday is reserved for clients who come to me privately. Some of these are the same senior leaders with whom I work during the rest of the week, except that they choose to pay for their own coaching. Some, but not all. Speaking with these clients on the phone (and with my own coach, Lynne) can make for a busy day with my last session finishing at 7pm in the evening.

Whilst my work with clients can be extraordinary in its diversity, today, I am struck by a common underlying theme. It seems that, as the year draws to its close, we are all ready for a rest. For some, the body has kicked in with messages – more or less robust – that the pace of recent months cannot go on. For others, it is simply that the motivation to move forward, which has characterised much of the year, is suddenly giving way to a gentle trusting, a sense that the time for such assertive action is giving way to a new time, to rest and take stock.

I notice that I, too, am ready for rest and restoration. Even the number of postings I have made this month seems slightly fewer than in previous months. I have started to prioritise those activities I would like to complete before Christmas and to postpone others that can wait until after a break.

I take a moment to ponder the natural rhythms that guide us, recognising a wisdom we all share – if only we take time to listen.

Honouring a national institution

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Woolworths is in the news today. Almost 100 years after the first Woolworths store opened in the UK the creditors are looming and a buyer for this ailing retail chain has yet to appear.

In stores around the country shoppers are emptying the shelves of goods being sold at up to 50% price reduction. The queues are long. Some customers are making their last visit to the pick’n’mix for old times’ sake. For these customers, ‘Woollies’ has been a part of their lives – the whole of their lives.

Thousands of workers face the possibility of a redundancy – just in time for Christmas. My heart goes out to these workers. They have bills to pay. They are entering the job market at a time when jobs are scarce. Whatever emotions they feel are real right now.

And still, I recognise that there are many different ways to look at this event and our emotions come from the way we look at them, rather than from the events themselves. For me, understanding this is key to my experience of the current economic downturn.

It seems that the more I allow that this is a loss AND that there are many possibilities that lie ahead, the more I am able both to celebrate the role this chain of stores has played in our lives over almost 100 years AND to be open to the natural evolution that is manifesting in Woolworths’ current demise.

I hold the past, present and future in my thoughts.

A decaffeinated farewell

Your personal and professional well-being,

It’s about nine months since I decided to give up coffee.

In Month One, I did pretty well – withdrawal symptoms apart, that is. I had a whole month without drinking a cup.

My birthday proved testing. Let’s just have one celebratory cup of coffee, I thought, and reminded myself how much I enjoy the aroma, the taste, the sense of indulgence and luxury. That was it! Whilst far from being back to my daily cup, I suddenly had regular reasons to have a cup of coffee “every now and again”.

As my holiday drew to a close, I decided to give up coffee completely for a full year. That was four months ago. In truth, I’ve been surprised at how easily I’ve sat with clients in coaching sessions or in coffee shops with friends and been entirely indifferent to their coffee drinking.

Every now and again I do come away from a meeting or conversation and find, suddenly, a little voice says: “Ooooh! I’d love a cup of coffee!” I’ve come to recognise this link between the most challenging of my experiences and coffee, the great soother.

Still, I’m saying no.

Marketing for coaches: creating your “tribe”

Coaching, ,

One thing I love about the coaching community is the willingness of coaches to share. As the day (week) draws to a close I allow that some of the things I’d planned to do will not get done today and check out a couple of links my own coach, Lynne, sent me today.

The first link is to a posting that introduces Seth Godin’s book Tribes. The posting (at http://www.conferencecalltraining.com/power/?p=214) focuses on Godin’s idea that, in social networking, we are leaders – we either participate actively so that our voice can be heard (we lead) or we don’t. The author writes in the context of arranging and facilitating conference calls. I read in a wider context.

I follow a link to another posting in which Godin answers ten questions about his work and especially about his new book, Tribe. I am struck by Godin’s dinstinction between branding and the tribe. It’s not entirely new to me as a concept and still it resonates with a fresh new tone. Tribal marketing attracts followers who sign up to your story – via a blog, newsletter or other means. Members of the tribe essentially give you permission to market to them and, because they already like you, they’re glad to hear from you when you do. What’s more, because you have an affinity with them, you know how to meet their needs – you could say (my take) just by being you. Of course, Godin knows his book better than I do so you might want to start with his words not mine – at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2008/01/tribal-manageme.html.

As I write, I realise that I am enjoying the sense of a new and fruitful idea and at the same time I’m enjoying the thought that I’m already on my way with this approach. I remember when I started my business and how surprised I was at how much work came to me immediately from people with whom I already had a trusting relationship. I think of my newsletter, my blog… Hurrah! I’m on my way!

And just as I’m about to press “publish” one more thought pops into my mind. Perhaps it’s because coaches are a natural tribe that we are so willing to share. Certainly, our commitment to coaching and to the profound benefits it can bring is such that many coaches are delighted to refer people to clients, trusting that this will be a win for everyone concerned.

Celebrating my readers

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It’s six months today since I wrote my first posting on this blog. This has been a step on the path towards recognising how much I love to write and manifesting my joy in writing in ways which others who want to – many others I hope – can share.

As I sit here today, I am looking forward to all sorts of writing plans for the future. Some of my immediate plans involve technology as much as writing. In 2009 I’d like to pull together some of the writing I am already doing to create a coordinated whole – a new website with links to my blog and also my regular newsletters. Given this and other plans, I shall soon be looking for the right technological partner to work with.

As I write, I notice that whether or not anyone reads it, I am enjoying writing this blog. It gives me so much joy to be able to express myself in this way. I am enjoying using this blog as a repository for all sorts of resources and information. I love the experience of taking a few moments to reflect – be it a late ‘tea break’, the sharing of some new information or a more coordinated series of postings.

And still, even whilst enjoying this lonesome pursuit, I feel so grateful when I think of those people who, together, constitute my readers. You do not know each other. Often I do not know you are reading. Until, that is, you let me know of your struggles to leave a comment or that you know about my recent visit to Dubai, or… or… or… I thank you for your reading, which connects us even when we don’t speak. I celebrate this connection.

The power of the mid-term coaching review

Coaching,

I have mentioned before the practice I have with a colleague of conducting coaching reviews at the end of coaching assignments. Our reciprocal arrangement – to interview each other’s clients – gives clients a space in which they can say whatever comes to mind without fear of offending. It’s an invaluable source of feedback and learning for us, helping us to develop our coaching skills as well as to close our coaching projects fully when this time comes.

As time goes on, I have more and more clients who are ‘returners’ – coming back for more coaching after a break – or longstanding clients. These are people who make an ongoing commitment to coaching. These clients have many reasons for choosing coaching as an ongoing relationship, not least because it affords them the opportunity to step back from life’s immediate demands to re-connect wth a bigger picture. The more I work with these clients, the more I am moving towards a process of mid-term coaching review and finding it invaluable.

This evening I sit with one such coaching review. It’s clear from the responses that my client has taken the opportunity to ask “what do I need at this stage in my coaching?” I drop him a line to thank him for his feedback and to suggest we take some time to agree how best to meet his needs as they are now evolving.

As ever, I am grateful to my colleague for her willingness to devote time to this process. I am grateful for the value it brings to me, to my clients.

We are all connected: but how?

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What a week! In Dubai I have been deepening my understanding of the relationships amongst senior leaders in my client organisation whilst also deepening my understanding of the wider context which is Dubai.

Throughout the week I have been amongst people of many nationalities. I listened to my Pakistani taxi driver tell me last Sunday how much he dislikes Indians. I received a hearty handshake and a warm welcome from my client company’s Sudanese driver on my return. I was astonished by the number of staff members of many nationalities whose faces beamed as they welcomed me back to my hotel and asked me how I’d been since my last visit. I said no to the drink that Peter, a fellow guest whom I met on my last visit, ordered for me – and to the invitations that went with it. This morning, at Dubai airport, I was struck by the graceful beauty of an African woman who, pulling her suitcase behind her, also carried her shopping, hands free, on her head.

Since my visit in October the beginnings of a ripple effect of the global economic situation have become waves. Property prices are dropping and mortgages are going up. There is talk of a shake-out in the banking sector. Construction projects are already being scaled back. Any idea that Dubai might be recession-proof has been shown – quickly – to be untrue. In case we needed a reminder, any idea that national boundaries keep us in any way separate are hard, in this economic climate, to maintain.

And then Mumbai. As if it isn’t enough that the men responsible for a rising death-toll in Mumbai have targeted British and American people, the news is slowly emerging that a number of the men involved in perpetrating the attacks are from Britain. As I left the plane at Heathrow on my return from Dubai, the invitation to anyone who had been in Mumbai at the time of the attacks to speak with police officers on leaving the plane was a reminder of just how small the world has truly become. It’s all so close to home.

We are all connected. But how? And how do we want to be connected in future? I think of the possibilities for a world in which we choose dialogue and understanding above violence and aggression – surely our history is teaching us how little violence brings! I think of the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi and of the work, more recently, of Marshall Rosenberg in the field of nonviolent communication.

And then I come home, knowing that I cannot change the others, I can only choose my own behaviour. The journey towards non-violence begins here, with me.

Richard Hickox. May he rest in peace.

About Dorothy,

When my father died, in August 2006, I was tasked by my mother to phone a list of friends and family to break the news. My father did not die young – he was 95 – and still, I was overcome by tears in my first calls. I quickly adjusted my approach – a quick “Hello. How are you?” was somehow enough for me to be able to break the news without tears. Without exception those people I phoned responded by telling a story from their treasure chest of experiences and I gained many new perspectives on the man who was my father.

This evening, I am shocked by the news which has just reached me of the death of Richard Hickox on Sunday, 23rd November, 2008. When I joined the London Symphony Chorus in 1986 Richard was still, in the eyes of some, the new kid on the block as the chorus’ Music Director. Since that time, no year has passed without us raising our voices in response to Richard’s baton. As the news sinks in I, too, touch base with the treasure chest of my experiences.

They were not always pleasant! I remember a time when Richard, dissatisfied in rehearsal with the performance of the semi chorus had us, one by one, sing the pianissimo top G he wanted in front of our fellow singers. Standing at one end of the row I could feel a rising tension as I waited my turn. I was overcome with relief when one of my fellow sopranos told him, “Richard, I’m feeling too nervous right now to attempt this note”. It seemed to me that Richard came to his senses in this moment. I didn’t have to sing the note.

Even my most recent experience of singing with Richard was not ideal. A combination of a late change to our rehearsal schedule and a prior commitment meant that I missed two important rehearsals and had just one hour’s tutti rehearsal before our recent performance of Vaughan William’s Dona Nobis Pacem. Seated as I was in the middle of the front row I knew that, no matter how confident I felt, Richard would be seeking out my eyes, for he seemed to draw reassurance from the full attention of the long-standing members of the chorus – the “old timers”. I gave him my eyes – though not always the right notes.

To grieve is also to celebrate and as I write I am surveying the vast repertoire of music I performed with Richard and thinking of the rich fullness of my experience. I feel a great sense of loss – surely his death came too soon! I especially feel for Pamela, his wife, and for his three children. And I feel the depth of gratitude which comes with so many memories of so much music making. I feel especially grateful to have given him my eyes one last time. May he rest in peace.