Tag Archives: celebrating

Celebrating my niece and her work

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Well, it’s already a few months since I signed up, together with my niece Rebecca and my nephew Edward, for a course with the Writers Bureau. (That’s ‘Writers’ with no possessive apostrophe).

We all have different reasons for taking the course. Rebecca is approaching the end of her PhD and a career in scientific journalism is an option for her. Edward is a composer and also a great reader. For him, writing offers the occasional distraction. Belatedly, I have become consciously aware of how much I love to write. The course has become the vehicle for exploring this great love and what I might do with it.

Our first assignment was simple. I decided to submit one of my blog postings and was told I had got off to a flying start. The second assignment requires far more effort – to identify and research a target publication and to prepare an article for submission. I have identified my target publication and await my first copy.

Course or no course, my niece is striding ahead. Today she sent me a link to an article about her PhD research, into the migration patterns of butterflies and moths. You can read it at http://www.lablit.com/article/442#top.

I have no reason to feel proud – her work is all her own – and still, I notice that something in me is bursting forth. I try some words on for size: “It gives me so much joy to see her work coming to fruition”. And somehow, words do not seem enough to describe my sense of celebration.

Honouring a national institution

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Woolworths is in the news today. Almost 100 years after the first Woolworths store opened in the UK the creditors are looming and a buyer for this ailing retail chain has yet to appear.

In stores around the country shoppers are emptying the shelves of goods being sold at up to 50% price reduction. The queues are long. Some customers are making their last visit to the pick’n’mix for old times’ sake. For these customers, ‘Woollies’ has been a part of their lives – the whole of their lives.

Thousands of workers face the possibility of a redundancy – just in time for Christmas. My heart goes out to these workers. They have bills to pay. They are entering the job market at a time when jobs are scarce. Whatever emotions they feel are real right now.

And still, I recognise that there are many different ways to look at this event and our emotions come from the way we look at them, rather than from the events themselves. For me, understanding this is key to my experience of the current economic downturn.

It seems that the more I allow that this is a loss AND that there are many possibilities that lie ahead, the more I am able both to celebrate the role this chain of stores has played in our lives over almost 100 years AND to be open to the natural evolution that is manifesting in Woolworths’ current demise.

I hold the past, present and future in my thoughts.

Marketing for coaches: creating your “tribe”

Coaching, ,

One thing I love about the coaching community is the willingness of coaches to share. As the day (week) draws to a close I allow that some of the things I’d planned to do will not get done today and check out a couple of links my own coach, Lynne, sent me today.

The first link is to a posting that introduces Seth Godin’s book Tribes. The posting (at http://www.conferencecalltraining.com/power/?p=214) focuses on Godin’s idea that, in social networking, we are leaders – we either participate actively so that our voice can be heard (we lead) or we don’t. The author writes in the context of arranging and facilitating conference calls. I read in a wider context.

I follow a link to another posting in which Godin answers ten questions about his work and especially about his new book, Tribe. I am struck by Godin’s dinstinction between branding and the tribe. It’s not entirely new to me as a concept and still it resonates with a fresh new tone. Tribal marketing attracts followers who sign up to your story – via a blog, newsletter or other means. Members of the tribe essentially give you permission to market to them and, because they already like you, they’re glad to hear from you when you do. What’s more, because you have an affinity with them, you know how to meet their needs – you could say (my take) just by being you. Of course, Godin knows his book better than I do so you might want to start with his words not mine – at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2008/01/tribal-manageme.html.

As I write, I realise that I am enjoying the sense of a new and fruitful idea and at the same time I’m enjoying the thought that I’m already on my way with this approach. I remember when I started my business and how surprised I was at how much work came to me immediately from people with whom I already had a trusting relationship. I think of my newsletter, my blog… Hurrah! I’m on my way!

And just as I’m about to press “publish” one more thought pops into my mind. Perhaps it’s because coaches are a natural tribe that we are so willing to share. Certainly, our commitment to coaching and to the profound benefits it can bring is such that many coaches are delighted to refer people to clients, trusting that this will be a win for everyone concerned.

Celebrating my readers

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It’s six months today since I wrote my first posting on this blog. This has been a step on the path towards recognising how much I love to write and manifesting my joy in writing in ways which others who want to – many others I hope – can share.

As I sit here today, I am looking forward to all sorts of writing plans for the future. Some of my immediate plans involve technology as much as writing. In 2009 I’d like to pull together some of the writing I am already doing to create a coordinated whole – a new website with links to my blog and also my regular newsletters. Given this and other plans, I shall soon be looking for the right technological partner to work with.

As I write, I notice that whether or not anyone reads it, I am enjoying writing this blog. It gives me so much joy to be able to express myself in this way. I am enjoying using this blog as a repository for all sorts of resources and information. I love the experience of taking a few moments to reflect – be it a late ‘tea break’, the sharing of some new information or a more coordinated series of postings.

And still, even whilst enjoying this lonesome pursuit, I feel so grateful when I think of those people who, together, constitute my readers. You do not know each other. Often I do not know you are reading. Until, that is, you let me know of your struggles to leave a comment or that you know about my recent visit to Dubai, or… or… or… I thank you for your reading, which connects us even when we don’t speak. I celebrate this connection.

The power of the mid-term coaching review

Coaching,

I have mentioned before the practice I have with a colleague of conducting coaching reviews at the end of coaching assignments. Our reciprocal arrangement – to interview each other’s clients – gives clients a space in which they can say whatever comes to mind without fear of offending. It’s an invaluable source of feedback and learning for us, helping us to develop our coaching skills as well as to close our coaching projects fully when this time comes.

As time goes on, I have more and more clients who are ‘returners’ – coming back for more coaching after a break – or longstanding clients. These are people who make an ongoing commitment to coaching. These clients have many reasons for choosing coaching as an ongoing relationship, not least because it affords them the opportunity to step back from life’s immediate demands to re-connect wth a bigger picture. The more I work with these clients, the more I am moving towards a process of mid-term coaching review and finding it invaluable.

This evening I sit with one such coaching review. It’s clear from the responses that my client has taken the opportunity to ask “what do I need at this stage in my coaching?” I drop him a line to thank him for his feedback and to suggest we take some time to agree how best to meet his needs as they are now evolving.

As ever, I am grateful to my colleague for her willingness to devote time to this process. I am grateful for the value it brings to me, to my clients.

Richard Hickox. May he rest in peace.

About Dorothy,

When my father died, in August 2006, I was tasked by my mother to phone a list of friends and family to break the news. My father did not die young – he was 95 – and still, I was overcome by tears in my first calls. I quickly adjusted my approach – a quick “Hello. How are you?” was somehow enough for me to be able to break the news without tears. Without exception those people I phoned responded by telling a story from their treasure chest of experiences and I gained many new perspectives on the man who was my father.

This evening, I am shocked by the news which has just reached me of the death of Richard Hickox on Sunday, 23rd November, 2008. When I joined the London Symphony Chorus in 1986 Richard was still, in the eyes of some, the new kid on the block as the chorus’ Music Director. Since that time, no year has passed without us raising our voices in response to Richard’s baton. As the news sinks in I, too, touch base with the treasure chest of my experiences.

They were not always pleasant! I remember a time when Richard, dissatisfied in rehearsal with the performance of the semi chorus had us, one by one, sing the pianissimo top G he wanted in front of our fellow singers. Standing at one end of the row I could feel a rising tension as I waited my turn. I was overcome with relief when one of my fellow sopranos told him, “Richard, I’m feeling too nervous right now to attempt this note”. It seemed to me that Richard came to his senses in this moment. I didn’t have to sing the note.

Even my most recent experience of singing with Richard was not ideal. A combination of a late change to our rehearsal schedule and a prior commitment meant that I missed two important rehearsals and had just one hour’s tutti rehearsal before our recent performance of Vaughan William’s Dona Nobis Pacem. Seated as I was in the middle of the front row I knew that, no matter how confident I felt, Richard would be seeking out my eyes, for he seemed to draw reassurance from the full attention of the long-standing members of the chorus – the “old timers”. I gave him my eyes – though not always the right notes.

To grieve is also to celebrate and as I write I am surveying the vast repertoire of music I performed with Richard and thinking of the rich fullness of my experience. I feel a great sense of loss – surely his death came too soon! I especially feel for Pamela, his wife, and for his three children. And I feel the depth of gratitude which comes with so many memories of so much music making. I feel especially grateful to have given him my eyes one last time. May he rest in peace.

TM: Getting started

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When we take on a new responsibility or commitment, there is often a gap between our input and the effects over time that motivate us to get started. We make many visits to the gym before our bodies show the effects of our regular exercise – be they newly-defined muscles, increased stamina or new-found energy. The golfer makes many shots before celebrating a hole-in-one. The salesman or -woman may wear down many pairs of (real or metaphorical) shoes before the results start to show. For this reason, new beginnings require an attention to our inputs ahead of a focus on our outputs or results.

So it is for me as I begin to meditate. Over a period of about six years I have been paying attention to such evidence as I have been able to find, including the testimony of people I have met who meditate on a regular basis. I am already convinced of the benefits of a regular practice of Transcendental Meditation. Still, leaving my initial training programme on Friday, I already know that my first challenge will be to carve out time every day to meditate.

What better test of my resolve than a trip to Dubai, beginning the very next day! I plan ahead of time, deciding to spend half an hour of my taxi journey to the airport “snoozing” and another half an hour on the plane. I calculate the best time to meditate on the plane, leaving a gap between meditations and ahead of the meal that will sustain me through the night. And then, setting my alarm for my first day’s work on Sunday (yes, Sunday begins the working week here in Dubai) I realise that I shall be rising at 2 a.m. UK time. Hey, ho!

I am glad that I am not looking for any immediate results to convince me to continue. It’s enough for me to celebrate these first two days of managing my own meditation practice. I did it! I made time on both days for two meditations a day. I know I am ready to begin this daily practice. To commit.

Coaching: when talking brings perspective

Clients and testimonials, , ,

My work is mainly with leaders in senior positions. Often, in our work together, our focus is on developing the emotional intelligence and leadership capability clients need to engage their full capability and motivation – and that of their staff. Whatever agenda a client brings, though, life often throws up areas of exploration that aren’t in the plan. This was true a few months back for one of my clients, who is General Manager in his company. He told me:

“Having worked with you in 2004 it seemed natural to make contact when I decided to work with a coach again.

“Because of my previous experience I had a belief that there would be a big benefit from working together and even so, my goals were exceeded. As a result of our work together I have become more centred and focused on what I want to achieve. I have more idea about how to forward plan for myself, because now I see what I want to do. I also have a clear framework for self-development and I’ve got several strands of self-development started.

“Around Easter time I had a personal crisis. Being able to talk it through with you meant I got it into perspective. I could have ended up with a marriage breakdown and my family falling apart. But now I have the exact opposite. I have strong family relationships, and the future is bright. I’ve had benefits in my current role, too, even though this has not been our main area of focus.

“Coaching has been a process for evaluating and improving all aspects of my life in a fulfilling way. In this second lot of coaching, I’ve got to the point faster and have more self belief. I have much better recognition of my own strengths. The major thing is, I think differently. I’ve especially learnt the power of talking to someone about any aspect of your life – it brings perspective. Because of this, I have no plan to end our coaching partnership”.

As I share this testimonial with you, I am grateful to my client for his willingness to share. I am also aware of the sense of privilege that comes from working in close partnership in ways which benefit my clients, the organisations they work for and the people with whom they live and work.

I also extend an invitation to you: if this testimonial describes an experience you would like to have, or if you know someone who may be interested to work with me, please contact me directly via dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk.

Teaching Awards: an opportunity to celebrate ourselves as well as others

About Dorothy, ,

Today I return from the Teaching Awards’ tenth national celebration of excellence in the teaching profession across the UK. 142 teachers, teaching assistants, governors, headteachers and whole schools came together to celebrate the awards they received across Wales, Northern Ireland, England and Scotland.

There were many times when there was not a dry eye in the house. At the national awards ceremony on Sunday afternoon, people dabbed their eyes as their loved ones – be they beloved spouses or cherished colleagues – learned they had won a national award. And total strangers were quick to recognise in the winners an example of the profound contribution an adult can make to the current and future life of a child.

At the gala dinner there were more tears as Lord David Puttnam made his farewell speech, more than ten years after the idea of celebrating the best in teaching was first conceived. For some these were tears of loss, for David’s contribution to the Teaching Awards has been immense and he is dearly cherished. At the same time, there were tears of celebration and gratitude for everything that it has taken to turn the idea of an “Oscars” for teachers into a thriving reality.

In recent years it has been my privilege to be a member of the nationwide judging team that supports the work of the Teaching Awards. The judges are volunteers who want to give something back. Often we take something away – from the full heart that is blessed to witness what it can mean to be an outstanding teacher, to the idea that can be converted into something useful for one’s own classroom. It seems that we all benefit from being in the presence of excellence. What’s more, we all recognise the gift to our children of excellence in the classroom.

This weekend, as I often have before, I wonder why some winners find it so hard to celebrate themselves in the way they willingly celebrate others and I reflect on a culture in which we are apt to see a recognition of self as vanity or arrogance. I am grateful to David Miller, winner of the Guardian Award for Teacher of the Year in a Secondary School, whose speech on receiving his award shows how much it is possible both to be grateful to others for all they have done and to recognise oneself: more than once he mentions how much the contribution of others has helped him to become “as good as I am”.

Returning to my office I celebrate David and I recognise that he brings something that I would want for every winner of a teaching award, past present and future: the ability fully and easily to recognise what he brings as well as to celebrate the contribution of others. For by loving ourselves and each other in this way, by connecting with the best of that we bring, we open up new possibilities, both to meet our own needs and to contribute to the needs of others. In this way, more than in any other, we make the world a place worth living in.

I wonder, what better example can a teacher offer to the children in his care?

Coaching: the Rolls Royce of personal development experiences

Clients and testimonials, Coaching, , , ,

I have a reciprocal arrangement with a coaching colleague, whereby we interview a percentage of each other’s clients at the close of a coaching relationship. This supports the process of drawing coaching to a close and yields valuable feedback which helps us both to continue to learn and grow.

Recently, I completed my coaching with RN, a senior leader in his organisation with a European remit. I am grateful to him for allowing me to share his testimonial following our work together. He told my colleague:

“My goals for coaching have been 100% met. I have adopted a more conscious approach to work and career decisions and I am more aware of options. Coaching has enabled and accelerated my ability to identify my values, priorities and options in my work life. I am more energized and happier and so more productive – and this has spilled into my private life too. This is more than I expected when we started.

“In the initial opening session we discussed coaching and set the scene and it went well from there. Dorothy had a positive attitude and was a good listener. She was always challenging and asked me questions that opened up new perspectives for me. I found coaching action-orientated – it was not relaxing at all and at the same time it’s a very selfish thing, wonderful to have someone there to talk to where it is all about you. I liked the length of our sessions: they gave time to get to the bottom of things but not be tired. The frequency was adapted to my priorities. Also, when I sent e-mails in between sessions I always got a quick happy, and positive response from Dorothy.

“What would I say to anyone who was thinking of investing in coaching? It is the Rolls-Royce of personal development experiences. I would recommend it absolutely”.

As I review R’s comments I celebrate our work together – including so many details about our coaching partnership and about R’s commitment to coaching which I am in no position to share.

And I also extend an invitation to you: if R’s testimonial describes an experience you would like to have, or if you know someone who may be interested to work with me, please contact me directly via dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk.