Recently, I wrote a posting for Discuss HR entitled To what extent is it really OK to be human in the workplace? My aim was to explore the extent to which we feel able to express ourselves fully and authentically in the workplace and to explore some of the reasons why we don’t. In this posting I highlight what I’m calling “Reason 4” and expand on it.
Perhaps a fundamental reason why we struggle to be fully human in the workplace is that we don’t know how. Many of us, growing up in a culture (any culture) in which we are not sponsored in being fully human in the workplace, may yearn for something different AND we are likely to lack insight and understanding into alternative approaches. We have, after all, grown up in and absorbed the very culture we are seeking to move away from.
To be fully human is to engage with the full range and depth of our experiences and to know that they are just that – our experiences. As a broad generalisation, Western cultures sponsor rational thinking and discourage the expression of other aspects of our experience such as bodily sensations (our gut reaction) and feelings. What’s more, over time, we take this bias to mean that, insofar as we have emotions, sensations etc. which are not rational, there is something wrong with us as individuals. This is the opposite of the very “rational”, scientific approach we espouse which promotes curiosity about what is – and still, this cultural blindness exists.
Since those from whom we learn come from this background they are not always good teachers when it comes to being fully human. What’s more, since we come from the same background, we are also indoctrinated in a certain way of being. This can present a particular challenge for those of us who enter the professions likely to be reading this article – including leaders, members of the HR profession, trainers, consultants, coaches. Many people are drawn to these professions precisely because (like me) they didn’t thrive in the environments in which they grew up and they want to see something different. At the same time, they lacked role models from whom to learn and face the risk of hypocrisy as they seek to educate others whilst overlooking (or struggling with) their own limitations.
Learning to do something when we don’t know how and may lack role models to learn from – well, it’s a messy business! In truth, being fully human is a more messy business than many of us choose to engage in in public. It involves doing things that don’t work out as we hope and even doing things we later regret. When we embrace our humanity it’s all par for the course. When we don’t embrace our humanity we live constantly in the shadow of the belief – our own and others’ – that somehow we should be different.
I wonder, what are your aspirations for being human in the workplace? For you? For others? I’d love to read your comments in response to this posting.