Tag Archives: what clients say

Receiving the waves of gratitude

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Do you have people in your life with whom you share membership of the Mutual Admiration Club? These are people you hold in high regard and who hold you in their hearts in the same way. Dorota Godby is one of these. Through our participation in several learning events we have had the opportunity to support and be supported by each other and in this way to witness and benefit from each other’s skills.

In June I observed how Dorota was able to be present to the needs and feelings of others at Vicky Pierce’s Barn – how she took time with people to explore with them what feelings were arising in the moment and supported them in connecting with their underlying needs. This was empathy as a high art and I watched with admiration as well as experiencing the sense of deep peace that can come when I am in a space of such intimacy, trust and presence.

I also benefitted from Dorota’s support myself as I explored some of my own feelings about being single. Dorota showed the same sensitivity, supporting me as I connected with a yearning for the level of intimacy that is possible in a committed relationship. Later, she brought a playfulness to our conversation about the man I would love to meet. I haven’t met him yet though I’d love to.

I was thrilled when Dorota asked me for some support in August, when we were both at NVC (that’s Nonviolent Communication) Summer Camp together. We took some time on the last day of camp to do some work which was deeply personal to Dorota. I felt the same sense of privilege that I always feel when I am both coach and witness to people in support of their progress towards lives that are more authentic, easy and fulfilling. It was a further blessing to receive Dorota’s update to me which I share (with her permission) below:

Now I’m talking to you, I want also to share my joy and gratitude following the mediation space you held for me on the last day of the NVC camp. I hope that you’ve been receiving the waves of gratitude I’ve been sending your way non-verbally but I’ll articulate it here too.

I’ve seen such changes in and around me as a result of our work. It’s been integrating into my normality and making it a richer, sweeter and more satisfying experience compared to previous exhaustion and harshness. The most recent experience of it was on a work project in Oxford last week. In the 4 days of space clearing and emotional support that went with it, I was able to navigate the process with spaciousness and compassion and not a bunch of well meaning but oppressing “shoulds”. It was a big difference for me: instead of the lever being stuck on “maximum performance maximum of time”, it went with what was needed, how much and when and both me and my client were delighted with the process.

Dorota Godby
Relationship communication coach

Coaching? My personal experience was so good I’d like to carry on

Clients and testimonials, ,

Often, organisations sponsor coaching for individuals and only rarely does it take place in the context of a wider programme, despite the benefits that can come from developing the skills and raising the performance of whole teams.  Jo Vigor was my coaching client in one such programme and had first-hand experience of coaching as well as indirect experience of the impact of coaching on her staff. In her testimonial she mentions the overall impact of the programme whilst focusing on her own experience of coaching:

In the workplace – organisationally – the coaching programme helped everyone, enriched staff and the team so that we are working better.


In my own coaching the biggest goal was to take stock and give me confidence and I give this a big tick. Working with Dorothy helped me to consolidate and gave closure after some important life events (my divorce and the death of my father) so that I have been able to let go of baggage and I am now able to look forward.


At work, I understand my role and I see myself as a professional in my own right and a confident leader – my confidence has grown. I am more outspoken and willing to challenge the Board of Directors. Also I have made changes in the way I handle challenge in personal relationships. At the same time, I’ve learned not to take myself so seriously.


In addition, we took time to reflect on where I am now and where I might be going next. Coaching has changed how I see myself for the future – I have an expanded view of what’s possible for me and I have been “trying it on for size”. Our coaching left me with some questions I’d like to explore further about what next.


Personally, I appreciated Dorothy’s style. On the one hand, her professional management of our coaching was good – she contracted well so that I knew what I was signing up for, she was prompt and well organised and the homeworks she gave me were good. On the other hand, she was able to engage both as my work coach and with me as a person. Within three minutes of meeting me she had asked the searching questions. She was able to work with my style – she let me let off steam and then we would explore. In short, it was like having an “adult parent” – going back to see your Mum but having a confidential adult conversation.


Coaching? My personal experience was so good I’d like to carry on.

Jo Vigor
WCL Consulting

And I also extend an invitation to you: if Jo’s testimonial describes an experience you would like to have, or if you know someone who may be interested to work with me, please contact me directly via dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk.

Coaching: switching on a light

Clients and testimonials, Coaching, , ,

The ability to step back and observe ourselves is one that is highlighted by a variety of thinkers. Eckhart Tolle, for example, in his book A New Earth, highlights this ability as one which enables us to go beyond ego to connect with our authentic self. It is this ability that enables leaders to develop self mastery and the ability to act for the greater good.

Often the most significant outcome from coaching is the development of this inner observer. I am grateful to John Woodford, my client at MunichRe, for sharing this testimonial to coaching and to the inner observer:

What did I learn from our coaching? Working in partnership with Dorothy helped me to recognise my habitual behaviours and to become more self-aware: are they the behaviours I want to take forward? Our coaching helped me to develop a greater understanding of the impact I have on those around me and to develop greater empathy and understanding – for myself and others.

Perhaps the greatest learning for me has been to learn to stand outside of myself and look at me. Learning to observe myself in this way has given me new information which I can use to choose my responses and to get better outcomes. This is helping me to be more effective in managing my relationships with others and opening up new possibilities – perhaps to speak publicly, to build my profile, to be more confident and to have more gravitas.

What have been the benefits from coaching? My learning has had great application around the office. Recently, for example, I met someone for the first time. When I found their behaviour very strange, I become curious rather than reacting immediately. Coaching has helped me in managing people, hearing, listening and questioning and also in developing these skills in my staff so the whole team is getting better at understanding what people want. As a service organisation this has value.

What – and how – did Dorothy contribute? Dorothy asked lots of questions which were really tough and made me think very hard. She listened to my answers and followed up with a very sharp and targeted question. Sometimes the questions were much broader and these were the tough ones. If you like, she made me think and opened my mind – this switched on a light for me.

She was also very warm and made me feel very much at ease. She was a good listener and I valued her empathy. She was also very flexible. Our sessions were held at a time and a place that were convenient to me and the duration was just right – I never felt under pressure to cut our sessions short. After a while our fortnightly sessions turned into monthly sessions, evolving naturally into something that met the need.

Would I work with Dorothy again? I felt I got to a point where I had got the best value. Still I have lots to learn and will take it up in the future when I am ready for the next phase.

John Woodford
MunichRe

Don’t miss Dorothy!

Clients and testimonials, , ,

Over the years it has become increasingly apparent to me that the people in the field of human development (trainers, consultants, facilitators, coaches…) who have most to offer their clients are those who are most committed to their own learning.

Attending The Skilled Facilitator Approach programme with Roger Schwarz and his colleagues in December last year was a reminder of this on many levels. I noticed, for example, how much I felt drawn to Roger, to Matt Beane and to Annie Bentz who facilitated the programme with such commitment and skill. I am delighted to have been able to offer recommendations to Matt and to Roger on LinkedIn.

As a learner I experienced both joy and pain in my own learning. How wonderful to find adjustments I can make that bring me closer to communicating in ways which are true to my values! How painful to have invested so much and still to have so much to learn! I have chosen this path and tread it with full commitment – and still, sometimes it’s a hard path to walk.

Something of this is reflected in the recommendation Matt Beane was kind enough to write for me which you’ll also find on LinkedIn. This is what he wrote:

Don’t miss Dorothy! In the little time I worked with her, it became clear that she is a truly dedicated professional, constantly seeking to improve her clients’ condition. She demonstrated courage, skill and talent as she examined how she had been unintentionally contributing to her clients’ challenges, and she helped us all laugh whilst we learned. Dorothy attended an intensive workshop on Group Process Facilitation that I co-led with Roger Schwarz, author of “The Skilled Facilitator”.

Matt Beane
Principal Associate and Head of Sales and Marketing
Roger Schwarz and Associates
January 25th, 2010

An authoritative and professional consultant and coach

Clients and testimonials, Developing as a leader, , ,

I had an e-mail recently from a potential client who had been referred to me by one of my coaching clients. His questions made me wonder if I am offering information about my work as an executive coach at the expense of sharing information about my broader offering in the field of leadership development. In truth, I have played a role over the years in helping many organisations to build their leadership bench strength as well in helping individuals to develop their own capability as leaders. I made a note to balance the referrals that I am sharing to give a broader view.

It made sense to ask my friend, colleague and client Alan Roach, Executive Principal of the Basildon Academies, for permission to reproduce a referral which has already been published elsewhere, not least because Alan has seen the breadth and depth of my work since we first met in 1999. Before I share Alan’s words, I offer some background information about our contact over the years.

Our first meeting took place when Alan participated in the national Leadership Programme for Serving Headteachers, when I was responsible for accrediting the trainers delivering the programme. Over the years, I have known Alan in a variety of contexts. I have been Entrepreneur In Residence at the schools which have recently become the Basildon Academies, a role which often involves acting as a sounding board for Alan. We have been fellow national judges for the Teaching Awards. Occasionally, the Academies have been my client – last year, for example, I conducted some work to help clarify roles and responsibilities in the newly formed Academies. Occasionally, I have conducted work on behalf of other organisations as a result of Alan’s referrals.

This is what Alan had to say:

Dorothy is an authoritative and professional management consultant and executive coach. Dorothy’s intellect, clarity and experience have enabled her to make a strong contribution to developments in the world of education. Her influence and support over the years, through consultancy and through her voluntary work have helped our schools to build social capital and to succeed in transformation. Her ongoing commitment to supporting us as our schools become Academies will ensure that our new systems are robust and that our aspirations are met.

Alan Roach
Executive Principal
Basildon Academies

Connecting – via the written word

Clients and testimonials, Coaching, , , ,

Recently I have wondered whether to put my name forward to join the published list of NVC (that’s nonviolent communication) trainers in the UK. I am not a certified trainer and don’t plan to become one – at least for now. And still, I’d enjoy having some coaching clients coming my way who are interested to develop a compassionate (‘nonviolent’) approach. Equally, since I work extensively with clients in corporations, I’d enjoy having someone – an HR Director, perhaps – contact me one day and ask to talk about the use of nonviolent communication in organisations.

What better way, I thought, than to seek the view of people who are already listed? So I put out an invitation to my colleagues to share their thoughts. One e-mail touched me deeply – I had the sense of being seen at my very best. It also reminded me of the power of social media, coming as it did from someone I have yet to meet and whose impressions of me come largely via the written word. With her kind permission, I share it with you.

This e-mail came to me from Jo McHale, whose business (at http://www.talking-truly.com/) focuses on converting conflict into connection. Here’s what she wrote:

Dear Dorothy

We haven’t met yet – and I trust we will before long – yet I feel moved to respond to your e-mail about joining the NVC-UK trainers list.

I have read your contributions to the NVC-UK group’s discussions. I have heard your voice on the conference call. I have read your response to a thread on the LinkedIn Coaching At Work group in which you commented on something Bill Tate wrote (Bill is my partner). I’ve also read your website/blog. And let’s not forget I first encountered you in the UKHRD Forum [now the Training Journal Daily Digest].

From each of these I have a sense of someone who is grounded, compassionate, passionate, thoughtful and wise. I find it easy to listen to what you say with an open mind and open heart, and to trust the place you’re speaking from.

It would indeed gladden my heart if you were to join the list. My understanding of the procedure is that you need the endorsement of three (not sure of the number of) people who know you and are prepared to ‘speak’ on your behalf. If my words contribute to this, I’m very happy for them to be used.

In anticipation of future connections,

Jo

Jo McHale

Sending Christmas greetings to you

Clients and testimonials, ,
Dear friends

“To top off my year my company is closing down. I have been made redundant and my last day will be on 31st December. Thankfully, I have not gone into panic mode. I am very calm and looking forward to another new door opening in my life. I don’t believe I would have this outlook to my future if I had not experienced coaching with you and the support and guidance of my good friend Antoinette, for which I am extremely grateful to you both”.

Sarah Phillips

As Christmas approaches and the year draws to an end I thought I’d take a moment to drop you a line.

What a year it’s been! Currently my life is peppered with people whose jobs have been made redundant and who face the prospect of finding new jobs in a challenging market. Amongst those who are at work some are adapting to significant change and some are anxious about the future.

Of course, in the larger scheme of things, hard times – including the current economic downturn – come and go. And even in the downturn I am constantly reminded that we are not the victim of circumstances – unless we choose to be. I notice how some people are thrilled to face the challenges the recession is bringing and I notice how others, whilst far from thrilled, bring a deep sense of knowing – that they have all the resources they need to face whatever comes their way.

So, as I write, I celebrate you and the support you have given me in 2009. Amongst the resources I treasure are the many people who play a role in my life. Thank you. And I also send you my heartfelt wishes for Christmas and the New Year. May you know at every step on the way that you have all the resources you need.

Warm regards

Dorothy

Coaching? I’d recommend it to anyone

Clients and testimonials, ,

Sometimes, I like to “claim” a client. This is a process whereby I let someone know I think they’d benefit from coaching and that, if ever they decide to pursue it, I’d love to be their coach – or to help them to find the coach who’s right for them.

Sometimes, too, I offer a scholarship to young people with high potential – the future leader, for example, whose employing organisation has not yet spotted their potential or (because of my personal interest and engagement in music and the performing arts) the talented performer or future star.

The testimonial below comes from one such client – someone I “claimed” as a client and who took up my offer of a coaching scholarship. Oftentimes, high performance comes at a personal cost so I am struck by the benefits to my client in his work from learning to look after himself.

Coaching was Dorothy’s idea – it wasn’t something I’d thought of doing. I’ve experienced coaching as personal to me – learning about myself and what I enjoy. It’s been a way of learning how to live in a way that suits me – learning what I want and how to get it.

Before we started working together I was doing my work as well as I knew how but I wasn’t looking after myself and I was experiencing some stress. I wasn’t willing to take risks and I didn’t have the confidence and energy to change.

Coaching has opened up a new way of thinking for me. Now I’m checking in with myself regularly and acting on my own feedback. I’m more relaxed and happy and my confidence levels are higher. I’m working more and better as a result.

As my coach, Dorothy created trust from the beginning and maintained her commitment to confidentiality which was important to me. I get a strong sense of her dedication – her willingness to contribute her time and expertise to help. I also found it quite liberating to be left to set the agenda and to judge the outcome myself. There was no judgment – I’ve never experienced anything like that before.

Would I recommend coaching? Yes, I’d recommend it to anyone. I thought it was for certain people with certain problems but now I realise it’s for anyone.

Coaching: for a renewed sense of purpose and priority

Clients and testimonials, ,
What do coaches do when their nearest and dearest ask for coaching support? Such requests raise many questions. If we coach our loved ones how can we be sure to hold the boundaries between our personal relationship and our relationship as coach and client? And how do we ensure that we bring none other than a coaching agenda to our coaching interactions? Sometimes, the answer is to refer our friends, brothers, husbands or wives to a trusted colleague. This is how Eddie Maguire, Head of IT Delivery in his company, came to be my client in February of last year.

Every client we work with teaches us something about what we most enjoy in our coaching. When I started working with Eddie, I already knew how much I enjoy working with men and women in senior leadership roles – this has, after all, been my heartland for a number of years now. One thing that Eddie and clients like him have taught me is this: that I enjoy working in a deep and lasting coaching relationship with clients. Why? Because such work can be transformational for the client, bringing results which continue way after the coaching has finished.

Eddie is also one of the clients who has taught me that the line between a “corporate” and a “private” client is not always clear. Sometimes my work with corporate clients has focused on personal agendas whilst sometimes those clients who pay for their own coaching can bring an agenda which is entirely work-related and of great benefit to the business in which they work. And either way, my senior leadership clients are as likely to be private clients as they are to be sponsored by their organisations.

What does Eddie have to say about his experience of coaching?

I was already taking part in an in-depth leadership development programme when I started working in coaching partnership with Dorothy.

I’ve had some great results from coaching. I achieved all my early goals for coaching and I got the promotion I was looking for. More than this, I am much more secure in who I am and what I want – coaching, together with our leadership development programme, produced this result. I have greater self confidence and self belief and I know what I have that gives me my place in the company’s future. The big thing is that I no longer question my right to lead and I’m willing and comfortable to be the obvious point of authority.

What would I say about coaching? Coaching has provided a space in which to explore and it’s always about me: it’s about my issues and what I can do. You could say it’s about developing me and not about developing a specific skill set. I always get value from our sessions. I started coaching with some clear goals and, having met them I’m now using it to help with specific issues and challenges as well as defining my next goals.

What would I say about Dorothy as a coach? She always gives me space to dump stuff and then move forward. She’s very good at listening and asking questions – catching the meaning of words and offering challenging questions. I always come away from coaching with the background noise in my head reduced. Our sessions create focus for me, giving me a renewed sense of purpose and priority.

Would I recommend coaching? Yes, I would – particularly for people struggling to achieve their potential or who are unaware of their potential. It’s a mind-expanding experience and an opportunity to expand your horizons – to open up areas of thought you never realised were not there.

Eddie Maguire
Head of IT Delivery

Warmth, vitality – and penetrating questions

Clients and testimonials, Coaching, , ,

One way that coaching clients find me is via my colleagues in the coaching profession. To whom, for example, do you refer your sister or husband or best friend when they ask for your recommendation? And what about the person who comes to you for coaching for whom you’re not a good match?

This is one more reason for coaches to build relationships with their colleagues: it helps to know a range of people to whom you can refer potential clients. Perhaps it’s worth adding that, for me, it’s a hallmark of a professional coach that he or she recognises – and acts on – those times when it’s in the best interest of the person seeking coaching to refer them on: perhaps to another coach, perhaps to another profession.

Personally, I take a very open approach to this process. I do not wish to set up arrangements by which I prioritise any particular coach over any other. I want to be able to give thought to the needs of the person seeking coaching and to make this my chief criterion for referring him or her to a colleague.

Still, as I continue to gather testimonials for the marketing materials for the coaching groups I am planning to run, I’m delighted that, amongst my coaching colleagues, there are some who are happy to refer people to me as potential clients for coaching.

One of these is Dr. Rosie Miller, whom I met via our coaching training and who, like me, is an executive coach. She gave me two quotes to choose from which I share here:

“As a coach and colleague Dorothy brings enormous warmth and playful vitality, alongside a masterful use of the penetrating question. Her own deep commitment to creating the life she wants inspires you to keep your promises and take leaps towards your own dreams.”

“Dorothy’s combination of warmth, vitality, and insightfulness make her a powerful coaching presence. As a coach and colleague she inspires you to continually take steps to be the best you can be.”

Dr Rosie Miller
PCC and International Business Coach