Tag Archives: coaching groups

Coaching: the gift that keeps on giving

Recently, I was absolutely thrilled to discover that former coaching client, Carrie Bedingfield, has done a very successful talk which is available on TEDx.  Her subject?  How striving is costing us everything:  the profit paradox.

I thought of Carrie again recently.  I’ll come back to the “why”.  First though, I want to touch on something that coaches, and their clients, constantly grapple with:

Pondering what return you’ll get from your investment in coaching?

When you make an investment in coaching – time, money and more – you want to know that it will be worthwhile.  This is true whether you are seeking coaching for yourself or sponsoring coaching for someone in your team.

Will coaching help you with the immediate issues that have made you consider coaching as an option in the first place?  You want to know.

Will coaching lead to benefits in the long-term that make the investment worthwhile?  You want to know.

At the same time, coaching holds no guarantees.  There’s no guarantee that coaching will deliver the solutions you are hoping for.  There’s no guarantee that coaching will deliver any solutions.  Coaching, as an “act of faith” remains an expensive option.

What proof is there of the long-term benefits of coaching?

Coaches, too, grapple with this issue.

We look for studies which demonstrate the impact of coaching.  They’re out there but they’re not always easy to find and, quite quickly, they can look out of date.

Sometimes, I prefer to let clients speak about the results over time from their investment in coaching.  Carrie told me at the time what benefits she had from her investment in coaching with me.  In recent days, she’s been kind enough to add a few words about the long term impact of coaching.

This is what she had to say:

CarrieWhen I first started working with you, I was working flat out and trying to make myself available to everyone – clients, team members and others – all the time.  Paradoxically, the more I tried to make myself available to people, the more I was starting to resent people for stealing my time.  Also, I was riding the roller-coaster of other people’s emotions.  A client would be unhappy (or just express something in a way that brought us all down) and I would dive down.  A project would go well and the world was a sunny happy place.  I was feeling exhausted and I knew the approach I was taking wasn’t sustainable.

Like many people, I’m a bundle of sharp contrasts – they conflict all the time which causes wasted energy/effort or even pain.  With Dorothy, I learnt to unpick these. They all want something good for me.  If I can identify how each is trying to serve me, I can end the conflict.  Now I understand, for example, what dangers my desire to be available and my concern to protect my time are warning me against and how they’re trying to help me.  And I can set and communicate boundaries that don’t cause inconvenience for me or anyone else.

Another massive lesson for me was to take responsibility for myself only – one I share with other people all the time.  Clearly defining what I’m responsible for and what I’m not (you need to keep doing this ALL the time!) changes the energy completely and removes the emotional weight of running a service business.  Dorothy enabled me to disentangle myself from all of this and establish what I am responsible for which helps me focus effort on what I can actually change and lift the weight from my shoulders of other people’s responses which are their choice.

I didn’t think it was possible to learn something completely new or to massively grow in an area of little experience.  For me that was coaching and developing others.  I had limited beliefs about what others were capable of so I neither thought they could transform nor that I could help them do it.  I learnt by doing that actually, I could change/develop/grow/learn and that opened up a new world. All these people in my extended team could also develop amazing new talents and I could help them do it!  And that’s exactly what happened.

The work we did together had a massive impact on me at the time.  Learning to coach members of my team meant that they were able to fulfil their potential more fully and I could delegate to them.  My role changed quite quickly.  I went from being key to the provision of services to take on a leadership role and, quite quickly, to become CEO.  This opened up opportunities to do other things, such as lecturing for the University of Cambridge Judge Business School and founding 50th Generation, an incubator for meaningful, growing businesses.

It’s easy to say that, as a result of our work together (and other learning with other learning partners), I became a different person.  I think it’s more truthful, though, to say that our work together helped me to become a more effective, fun and joyful version of myself.

Carrie Bedingfield

Entrepreneur, business grower, investor, communications specialist, guest lecturer

Investing in your life and career

I thought of Carrie because I am currently putting together information about a coaching group I will be offering in the next few days for people who want to make their next career move – people who are seeking promotion within their current organisation or seeking to move from one organisation and another.  If you want to find out more, about this, click here.

Carrie’s experience demonstrates the kind of progress people make as a result of investing in their personal development.  Her testimonial exemplifies the kind of things people learn in coaching.  It also exemplifies the kind of results people can look forward to in the short-, medium- and long-term.

There’s a curious thing, too, about coaching.

Carrie’s testimonial is a reflection of just how extraordinary she is.

At the same time, in my experience, successful coaching demonstrates just how ordinary it is to be extraordinary.

Setting up a coaching group – the essential standards

Today I’m looking forward to meeting my dear friend and colleague Rosie Miller for a late afternoon “cuppa”. Executive Coaching is at the heart of Rosie’s business as it is of mine and we like to keep abreast of each other’s businesses and to provide support.

In recent weeks we have been exploring the possibility of setting up a coaching group – the Best Year Yet coaching group. We’ve had a variety of expressions of interest but not enough to meet our core criteria for setting up a group – 6 to 8 people who are committed and enthusiastic to join. Last week we looked at the responses we had so far and decided that rather than invest more effort in seeking to attract participants we would let people know we are not going to go ahead. It’s our view that if it proves effortful to set a group up then perhaps that group is not meant to be.

For my part, I feel a sense of joy at taking the decision and I hope this came across in my e-mail to those who had expressed an interest. It’s not that I’m not disappointed – it would have been great to go ahead. And still, I wanted to act on my convictions and I celebrate the decision to hold back from pushing for something that isn’t meant to happen – at least, not yet. I am also grateful to everyone who took part in our discussions, whatever decision (or indecision) they ultimately made. I’ve taken so much learning from the experience and I look forward to carrying it forward.

No doubt Rosie and I shall be reflecting on this experience when we meet this afternoon.

Coaching Groups: Action Learning Sets by another name?

Whenever I share my thoughts with others, they ask questions I haven’t yet thought of. This is true no matter how long I’ve spent brainstorming the questions I think others might have.

I am grateful for a question I hadn’t considered in relation to Coaching Groups: in what ways are they similar to or different from Action Learning Sets? This question came from Ben Sheath, Training and Development Manager at British Gas and my colleague on the Training Journal Daily Digest. Since I’ve never been a member of an Action Learning Set – at least, not one that has gone by that name – I was not in a strong position to answer the question. Thankfully Ben was able to share a link to an introduction to Action Learning Sets at ActionLearningSets.com and willing to share his own experiences. As I write I am still teasing out the similarities and differences between the two.

The introduction to Action Learning Sets begins by saying “Action Learning is an accelerated learning tool which can be applied to any number of different workplace (and personal) issues and challenges”. So far so similar – a Coaching Group also addresses an agenda set by members of the group. This agenda can be as wide and as deep as members choose. Still, I have a suspicion as I read this first sentence which is confirmed by the article’s second question: “What sort of problems do Set members discuss?” This for me, sets an Action Learning Set apart from a Coaching Group. For whilst an Action Learning Set appears to be problem-focused a Coaching Group is clearly outcome-oriented. That is, members of a Coaching Group come together to establish what goals they would like to pursue and members work with their coach and with each other to pursue their chosen goals. Insofar as the members of a Coaching Group address problems, it is in service of these goals.

What are the implications of this difference? I suspect, though I don’t know for sure, that Coaching Groups hold a bigger picture in their sights than do Action Learning Sets. And when group members are working in pursuit of a goal (rather than seeking to solve a problem) the questions they need to answer are, to a greater degree, about themselves. Whilst the Action Learning Set member may focus on how to re-design a process or to establish dialogue with colleagues in another department, the coaching client is more likely to be asking what beliefs are holding him back or what new way of thinking about a goal is likely to open up new and accelerated progress.

It seems to me that this is a matter of degree. At one end of the spectrum you might have a group that is looking at processes and systems and in which limited introspection is needed. This group is more likely to be called an Action Learning Set (or Quality Circle) than a Coaching Group. At the other end of the spectrum a group might be looking at how to improve behavioural effectiveness (as a leader or coach, for example) and this, to me, implies a willingness to reflect, to build self awareness and to share one’s self with the group. This is the Coaching Group.

One statement jumps out at me from the introduction to Action Learning Sets. This is the statement that Research has found that if a skilled facilitator is present, the Set is more likely to be successful. This is the statement that, for me, unites both approaches. For no matter the name or stated purpose of a group, the facilitator or coach needs to be sensitive to the readiness of group members to engage in learning at varying depths – from the surface “how tos” to deeper exploration of personal needs, values, behaviours and even identity. For me, this implies both clarity at the outset about the purpose and processes of the group and an ongoing dialogue with group members about their readiness to move forward.

My thanks to you, Ben, for helping me to tease out these similarities and differences.

Announcing the NVC Marketing Group

Today I am sending out the third of three invitations to practitioners of Nonviolent Communication to join a coaching group. This one – the NVC Marketing Group – aims to help its participants to attract those people they most want to work with – and plenty of them.

Do you feel blessed – grateful, privileged – when you think of the role that nonviolent communication has played in your life?

Are you committed to sharing nonviolent communication with others – through your own practice and as a trainer?

Do you yearn to attract the people you most want to work with – and plenty of them? And do you sometimes wonder how?

Do you feel excited when you think that “marketing” could be something that you do with ease – a source of joy in its own right?

Are you committed to explore what you can do – and how – to make your marketing work for you?

I’m excited to announce the NVC Marketing Group. This is a coaching group for 6 – 8 NVC trainers who are committed to learn how to market their NVC offering in ways which attract the people they most want to work with – whilst also meeting their own needs.

I’m looking for the 6 – 8 NVC trainers for whom this coaching group is a longed-for and exciting source of focus, momentum and support – a catalyst for new possibilities.

Please help me by signing up for this group and/or by forwarding this e-mail to those NVC trainers you know for whom this might be the right thing at the right time – right now!

I’m impressed by Dorothy’s collaborative and proactive approach to marketing and look forward to learning more from her.

Gina Lawrie
NVC Trainer


The NVC Marketing Group: About you

As a committed and experienced practitioner of NVC, you have been exploring for some time what it means to live your life from a place of compassion (or nonviolence). You are resourceful in the way you take care of yourself (if you’re not, this may not be the group for you). You recognise and are committed to the deep ongoing journey implied in practising nonviolent communication.

You are excited about a world in which more and more people engage from a place of nonviolence and, over time, you have invested in playing a role in making this happen. You have explored and identified what contribution you want to make. You have made the commitment to become a trainer – perhaps you are already a certified trainer. You are offering courses, events and other ways to engage with NVC.

Whilst you are a committed and experienced practitioner and trainer of NVC, you are no marketing specialist. At times, you wonder how you can reach more people to take part in the events and activities you offer. This would meet your deep desire to contribute to a world in which many people are able to connect with their own needs and the needs of others. You also want to make your contribution in ways which support you in meeting your needs.

It’s not that you don’t have experiences and successes behind you – you have. Still, you feel excited when you think of joining up to seven of your fellow NVC trainers who share your commitment to find new ways to attract people to the spirit and practice of NVC.

Currently, you are ready to commit to a journey of exploration in this area. You want to find new ways to reach those people who could most benefit from your help right now – and plenty of them. You are committed to finding ways to create a marketing presence which is totally aligned to your values. And you recognise that this is as much about your own journey of exploration as it is about marketing methods.

You are ready to bring everything that you are to the group – your strengths, your fears, your dreams, your inner resources. You’re ready to share yourself fully and honestly with other members of the group and to seek the help and support you need to move forward. It’s not that you need to be rescued – you know you have what it takes! Still, you want to attract more people to your courses than you’ve been able to so far and you’re ready to invest your time, effort and learning in order to find ways to make this happen.

I was very moved by Dorothy’s presence and contributions to the group during a recent NVC experience where we met. In particular, she approached people’s hearts and their situations with great care, consideration and insight. I loved her warm laughter and soft tears – a wise, vibrant lady!

Dorota Godby
Live the Gift Coaching

The NVC Marketing Group: Affordable Help, Just When You Need It

When you join the NVC Marketing Group you make a one-year commitment to a group of 6 – 8 people who, like you, are committed to finding ways to offer NVC to a growing number of people through their work as NVC trainers.

Your annual fee of £1,925.00 plus VAT (payable in six easy instalments – see below) gives you access to a comprehensive package of group coaching and other support:

· From September 2009 to July 2010 the group meets for 90 minutes, twice a month by conference call, with a break in December – a total of 21 group coaching calls;
· An additional six one-hour conference calls provide an optional input to support you in areas that matter most to you – a curriculum that you specify supported by experts in areas of your choosing;
· Prior to joining the group, a one-hour one-to-one telephone coaching session will help you to get clear on your goals as an NVC trainer and on those areas in which you most want to make progress with support of the NVC Marketing Group;
· What’s more, your fees for joining this group include an additional 3 hours of one-to-one coaching. These are available to you at times of your choosing – just when you need them.

Early bird registration

I’m eager to get this group started, with a group of 6 – 8 committed NVC trainers. If this is exciting for you, I’d like to offer a 10% discount for you, provided you register by Friday 7th August and pay your first instalment by 14th August. Places will be allocated on a first come, first served basis.

Your payment schedule

You can pay your annual fee in one payment of £1,925 plus VAT or in instalments. Your first instalment, a non-refundable deposit of £325.00 plus VAT, secures your place in the group. I will send you an invoice for your five additional instalments of £320.00 plus VAT in September and November 2009 and January, March and May 2010.

Should you take advantage of our early bird registration, your total annual fee will be reduced to £1,732.50 plus VAT. You can pay this in one payment or in instalments. Your first instalment, a non-refundable deposit of £292.50 plus VAT, secures your place in the group. I will send you invoices for five additional instalments of £288.00 plus VAT in September and November 2009 and January, March and May 2010.

Offering value for money to committed NVC trainers

By working as a group, the NVC Marketing Group offers the same quality support at a fraction of the cost of one-to-one coaching. At the same time, group coaching offers an experience one-to-one coaching just can’t provide.

What’s more, your one-to-one coaching hours are available to you at the same cost as your group coaching hours – a significant discount on my standard coaching fees for private clients. In effect, I am offering you a rare “deal”: in exchange for this extraordinary discount, you agree to become an advocate for my business, letting people know about the services and the quality of service that I provide.

And there’s more! As long as you are a member of the NVC Marketing Group, you are eligible for a discount on additional one-to-one coaching. This will be available to you for the duration of your membership of this group at £100.00 plus VAT per hour – that’s one third off my standard fees for private clients and small business owners.

These fees reflect my commitment to offer support to a group I passionately want to support – NVC trainers.

I’d been prevaricating over a number of things and was getting down in the dumps about it. Dorothy was able to constructively get me to question some of my beliefs which were (unbeknown to me) getting in the way of a number of marketing steps that I needed to take. With Dorothy’s questions and coaching I was able to realise that success can be measured in a number of different ways and can be different shades of grey. Feeling energised by our coaching conversation, the next day I put together my own blog, celebrated my success and felt good about what I was trying to do. I would still be prevaricating today (two weeks later) if it wasn’t for Dorothy and really do make sure that I celebrate all my successes, big or small. The $64 million dollar question: would I recommend Dorothy? Absolutely!

John Dellarmi
Independent trainer and coach

The NVC Marketing Group: How It Works

Here’s how it works:

· Once you know this is the group for you, you make a one-year commitment to the group with the option to continue to work together if this is what the group wants. As soon as you sign up, we’ll schedule your one-to-one preparatory coaching session at a time to suit you. Your first group call will lay the foundations for our work together, helping you and other group members to connect with each other and agreeing key ways of working together right from the start.

· As your group coach, I schedule and facilitate each meeting. I provide a format for our work together – at least to begin with. You’ll also have the input and support of 6 or 7 amazing NVC Trainers who, like you, are committed to making the journey of learning that will make it possible to attract the people you most want to work with.

· Our group calls take place by conference call at a number and with a pin code that is unique to our group. You commit to dial in on time for our calls, each time. You can do this from anywhere in the world.

· Beginning in September, we meet for two 90-minute group calls per month. In December we have just one call and in August we have no calls – a total of twenty-one 90-minute calls.

· On the call we check in, noticing what’s alive for us as we begin our call and sharing where we’re making progress and where we need help. We’ll also take time to notice what’s working and to share hints and tips. This is a powerful way to share best practice and to build momentum towards our goals. We’ll also choose an area of focus for each call – an area in which group members want to make progress. We’ll explore this area before setting up clear and uncompromising intentions for our time between calls. All of these intentions will reflect the overarching goals of helping you to realise your dreams as an NVC trainer whilst also creating a life which fully honours your needs. Finally, we’ll take time to check out, noticing what you are taking away from the call.

· As your group coach, I’ll be providing coaching throughout each call and to every member of the group. This isn’t about “taking it in turns” – it’s about working together in ways which engage us all, all the time.

· Between calls, and during December, you’ll be putting your intentions into action and noticing what works – and what doesn’t. Prior to each call, you’ll check in with yourself and get ready to check in with the group. In August, the group will take a break – and maybe you will, too.

· Six times a year I’ll be offering an additional, optional 60-minute call. Each call offers an opportunity to focus on an area of interest to you with the help of an expert in the field. I’ve scheduled the dates. You’ll specify the areas you want to explore. You’ll be sharing in the responsibility to request input – of me, of each other, of people outside the group whose input you’d value.

· Your non-refundable deposit of £325.00 plus VAT secures your place in the group. I will send you an invoice for your five additional instalments of £320.00 plus VAT in September and November 2009 and January, March and May 2010.

· Over the year, you will stretch and grow into the learning and actions that will propel you forward, helping you both to accelerate your progress and to stay the course. You’ll benefit from a growing momentum and awareness of progress – your own, and that of the group.

· I hope you’ll be able to come to all of our group coaching calls, but if circumstances cause you to miss a call, I’ll record it so you can listen to it later.

I enjoyed the coaching from Dorothy, the combination of her skill, the quality of her listening warmth and humour was very effective and helpful. Thanks.

Jayaraja
NVC colleague

The NVC Marketing Group: What It’s Not

· The NVC Marketing Group is not a training programme. There’s no curriculum and I won’t be training you. Instead, I’ll be your coach. That means I’ll be using a coaching approach to help you to tap into your own inner resources. In this way you will determine your own curriculum – the ground you need to cover to move forward. In this way, you’ll be finding your own way forward.

· The NVC Marketing Group is not a joint marketing committee. There’s no intention to plan and execute shared marketing campaigns (though it’s possible you may choose to collaborate in planning and marketing joint events). Rather, the NVC Marketing Group is a group of individuals, each with his or her own dreams and plans, who come together to learn about marketing in ways which build motivation, momentum and – by practical action – progress.

· The NVC Marketing Group is not an NVC Practice Group or an Empathy Group. Whilst the focus may, at times, be on you, this will be in the context – always – of the larger group. So, whilst you can expect this group to be a place of understanding, celebration and support and whilst you can expect your own understanding and practice of NVC to deepen through our work together, you may find you have needs which for which you will need to seek support outside the group.

I’d thoroughly recommend Dorothy as an authentic, experienced and elegant coach. My experience of being part of any initiative she has organised has been highly positive. I’m sure this will be a great opportunity and catalyst for group members.

Allison Mitchell
Key Note Speaker and author of Time Management for Manic Mums and
Co-Author of Making It: Women Entrepreneurs Reveal Their Secrets of Success

Introducing Dorothy Nesbit, Your Group Coach

With a background in training and consulting and a lifelong focus on leadership and personal effectiveness I am both new to coaching and a seasoned coach. Throughout my career I have been involved in coaching leaders. Recognising this led me to the decision, in 2003, to name coaching as a part of my practice and to begin the journey towards establishing a coaching practice and towards professional accreditation.

2003 was also the year in which I first heard of Marshall Rosenberg and nonviolent communication. Amongst the many fields in which I have studied, including leadership competencies and emotional intelligence, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and nonviolent communication (NVC), NVC touched a chord and has become a touchstone for me – a coming home. Since I first read Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life I have participated in 35 days training in NVC.

As a coach, I offer a compassionate approach, aiming to provide a balance of challenge and support which is uniquely tailored to meet the needs of each client. My coaching is rooted in my understanding of what works across a variety of areas in clients’ professional and personal lives. My coaching is rooted in my own life experience and in my deep and continuing learning journey. My coaching is rooted in my own commitment to nonviolence.

My current coaching portfolio includes both executive and personal clients and I like to work with clients in a deep and lasting coaching relationship. My choice to offer coaching groups reflects both my love of working with groups and my commitment to offer coaching as widely as I can.

You can get to know me ahead of time by looking at my website (at www.learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk) and my blog (at http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com). I also attach two coaching CVs.

The real pleasure of knowing Dorothy as a colleague and as a coach is her powerful and infectious enthusiasm for inspiring others to develop. She achieves this by truly engaging you with her curiosity, her integrity, her commitment and her ability to enable you to believe you can be all you set out to be. I would never hesitate to recommend Dorothy.

Lindsey Waddell
Coach and Organisation Development Consultant

Your Coaching Schedule: Start The Week The Way You Mean To Go On!

Our calls will take place on Tuesdays at 9.15am. Make yourself a cuppa, make yourself comfortable and get ready to start the week the way you mean to go on!

Our group coaching calls will take place on September 8th & 22nd, October 6th & 20th, November 3rd, 17th, & December 1st 2009, and January 12th & 26th, February 9th & 23rd, March 9th & 23rd, April 13th & 27th, May 11th & 25th, June 8th & 22nd and July 6th & 20th 2010.

Our expert input calls will take place on October 14th and December 8th, 2009 and January 19th, March 16th, May 18th and July 13th 2010.

How To Register: Steps 1, 2 and 3…

1. Check in with yourself! As soon as you know this group’s for you, please send me an e-mail at dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk to reserve your place in the group.

2. I’ll let you know if there’s still a place available and send you your first invoice. Paying your deposit will reserve your place in the group.

3. As soon as I receive your deposit, our work begins! We’ll schedule your one-to-one “getting started” call and I’ll send you brief preparatory papers. I’ll send you details of your conference call number and pin about one week before our first group call.

Next Steps

Please think about whether this group is for you – and let me know. If you’d like to ask questions do drop me a line at dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk to schedule a call.

And if you know of others who might be interested – others, even, with whom you’d like to work (and play!) in this group, please forward this e-mail to them.

As Dorothy’s coach, I know that she is a true advocate for authentic personal and professional leadership.

Dorothy is absolutely committed, as a coach, to working with you to access your own innate resources, clarity, and authentic voice. She shines a light on your dreams, passions, and wisdom, and calls you forth into the full expression of those natural talents, in work and in life.

Dorothy brings energy, passion, focus, humour, and wisdom to her life and work. You can count on your journey with Dorothy, either as an individual or group client, to be a spirited one with lots of fun, challenge, and great reward.

As your coach in the NVC Marketing Group, Dorothy understands your needs and desires. She sponsors your unique dreams and talents. You can look forward to a coach and a group that supports, challenges, and calls you forth to make your vision, of yourself, your business, and your life, a reality. I can’t think of a better coach for you to have on the path of taking nonviolent communication into the world.

Lynne Fairchild
Professionally Certified Coach

Announcing the Living NVC Coaching Group

Today I sent out my invitation for the Living NVC Coaching Group and I also post it here:

Dear NVC colleagues

Do you feel blessed – grateful, privileged – when you think of the role that Nonviolent Communication (NVC) has played, and continues to play, in your life?

Do you feel deeply moved when you think of a world in which more and more people use Nonviolent Communication as a way of communicating – a way of being?

Are you looking for a powerful form of tailored, ongoing support as you explore what it means to you to live your life from a place of nonviolence?

I’m excited to announce the Living NVC Coaching Group. This is a coaching group for 6 – 8 people who have been studying and practising non-violent communication for some time and who would enjoy a powerful and tailored form of ongoing support as they explore what it means to live and work from a place of nonviolence.

I’m looking for the 6 – 8 people for whom this coaching group is a longed-for and exciting source of focus, momentum and support – a catalyst for new possibilities.

Please help me by signing up for this group and/or by forwarding this e-mail to those people you know for whom this might be the right thing at the right time – right now!

I was very moved by Dorothy’s presence and contributions to the group during a recent NVC experience where we met. In particular, she approached people’s hearts and their situations with great care, consideration and insight. I loved her warm laughter and soft tears – a wise, vibrant lady!

Dorota Godby
Live the Gift Coaching

The Living NVC Coaching Group: About you

It’s some time now since you first heard of Marshall Rosenberg and Nonviolent Communication (NVC). During that time you have taken time to explore Nonviolent Communication, by studying (reading, watching DVDs, participating in courses etc.) and by practising Nonviolent Communication in your daily life.

You have had time to discover the increasing depth of experience that is available to you by your practise of Nonviolent Communication. You have had time to discover the quality of relationships that are possible when two people are truly present to each others’ needs. And you have had time, too, to “stub your toe” against some of the challenges that come with practising Nonviolent Communication. Over time your commitment has grown to living your life in the spirit and practise of nonviolence.

Maybe you have also started to offer support to other learners and practitioners of Nonviolent Communication. Perhaps you offer trainings, practice groups or other events. Perhaps you have taken Nonviolent Communication into your professional life. Whether or not the people around you know it, you are committed to an approach to relationships which honours your needs – and theirs. You are committed both because of the possibilities for you that arise from your use of Nonviolent Communication and because you yearn for a world in which everyone’s needs count.

At this stage, you are skilled in taking care of yourself (if you’re not, you may get more from joining the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group). Still, you yearn for a regular opportunity to deepen your learning, practice and experience of Nonviolent Communication. You are excited by the idea of any experience that gives you the depth of learning and experience you’ve had on courses – over time. For this reason, you feel excited when you think about participating in a regular coaching group for committed NVC practitioners.

What’s more, you are ready to bring everything that you are to the group – your strengths, your fears, your dreams, your inner resources. You’re ready to share yourself fully and honestly with other members of the group and to seek the help and support you need to move forward. It’s not that you need to be “rescued” by your colleagues. Rather, you are excited by the idea that you could, as a result of your participation in this group, develop ever more skilful means to translate your commitment to NVC into action. You want to deepen your experience of living NVC and you’re ready to invest your time, effort and learning in order to make this happen.

The real pleasure of knowing Dorothy as a colleague and as a coach is her powerful and infectious enthusiasm for inspiring others to develop. She achieves this by truly engaging you with her curiosity, her integrity, her commitment and her ability to enable you to believe you can be all you set out to be. I would never hesitate to recommend Dorothy.

Lindsey Waddell
Coach and Organisation Development Consultant

The Living NVC Coaching Group: Affordable Help, Just When You Need It

When you join the Living NVC Coaching Group you make a one-year commitment to a group of 6 – 8 people who, like you, are committed to furthering and deepening the spirit and practices by which they live NVC.

Your annual fee of £1,925.00 plus VAT (payable in six easy instalments – see below) gives you access to a comprehensive package of group coaching and other support:

· From September 2009 to July 2010 the group meets for 90 minutes, twice a month by conference call, with a break in December – a total of 21 group coaching calls;
· An additional six one-hour conference calls provide an optional input to support you in areas that matter most to you – a curriculum that you specify supported by insights and practices from NVC and other fields;
· Prior to joining the group, a one-hour one-to-one telephone coaching session will help you to get clear on your goals for your membership of this group and on those areas in which you most want to make progress;
· What’s more, your fees for joining this group include an additional 3 hours of one-to-one coaching. These are available to you at times of your choosing – just when you need them.

Early bird registration

I’m eager to get this group started, with a group of 6 – 8 committed NVC practitioners. If this is exciting for you, I’d like to offer a 10% discount for you, provided you register by Friday 7th August and pay your first instalment by 14th August. Places will be allocated on a first come, first served basis.

Your payment schedule

Your total annual fee for this group is £1,925.00 plus VAT. You can pay this as a single annual payment in August or take advantage of our payment schedule. This comprises an initial non-refundable deposit of £325.00 plus VAT which secures your place in the group followed by five additional instalments of £320.00 plus VAT in September and November 2009 and January, March and May 2010.

Should you take advantage of our early bird registration your total annual fee will be reduced to £1,732.50. You can pay this as a single annual payment in August or take advantage of our payment schedule. This comprises an initial non-refundable deposit of £292.50 plus VAT which secures your place in the group followed by five additional instalments of £288.00 plus VAT in September and November 2009 and January, March and May 2010.

The Living NVC Coaching Group: How can I offer this value for money to committed NVC practitioners?

Joining the Living NVC Coaching Group is a significant investment of your time, money and energy. I hope you find the value you get from joining this group way exceeds your expectations.

Perhaps you’re also wondering: how I can offer such a comprehensive package at this cost? I’d like to tell you how – and why.

Working as a group offers the opportunity to provide the same quality support at a fraction of the cost-to-participants of one-to-one coaching. At the same time, group coaching offers an experience one-to-one coaching just can’t provide.

What’s more, your one-to-one coaching hours are available to you at the same cost as your group coaching hours – a significant discount on my standard coaching fees for private clients. In effect, I am offering you a rare “deal”: in exchange for this extraordinary discount, you agree to become an advocate for my business, letting people know about the services and the quality of service that I provide.

And there’s more! As long as you are a member of the Living NVC Coaching Group, you are eligible for a discount on additional one-to-one coaching. Subject to availability, this will be available to you for the duration of your membership of this group at £100.00 plus VAT per hour – that’s one third off my standard fees for private clients and small business owners.

These fees reflect my commitment to offer support to a group I passionately want to support – committed practitioners of NVC.

Hi there Dorothy,

You are a beacon in a very bright and amazing forum – and you can quote me on that! I learn so much from all your contributions to the TJ online forum. There’s always useful content, and more than that, the way in which you communicate with, encourage and challenge a wide range of people is an exemplar for us all. You are very generous with your insights (which are often profound) and seemingly-gentle questions, which can often inspire all kinds of revelations and learning. And you are respectful and ethical; that is very clear in how you deal with others. You are blazing a trail with what you are doing and deserve to succeed – I think group coaching is the right idea at the right time with the right coach leading the charge.

Dawn Sillett
Member of the Training Journal Daily Digest

The Living NVC Coaching Group: How It Works

Here’s how it works:

· Once you know this is the group for you, you make a one-year commitment to the group with the option to continue to work together if this is what the group wants. As soon as you sign up, we’ll schedule your one-to-one preparatory coaching session at a time to suit you. Your first group call will lay the foundations for our work together, helping you and other group members to connect with each other and agreeing key ways of working together right from the start.

· Throughout the year, you will have a programme which includes both coaching calls and “input” calls with a focus on a particular area and in which we explore practices that might help you to move forward.

· As your group coach, I schedule and facilitate each meeting. I provide a format for our work together – at least to begin with. You’ll also have the input and support of 6 or 7 amazing people who share your commitment to living in the spirit and practice of NVC.

· Our group calls take place by conference call at a number and with a pin code that is unique to our group. You commit to dial in on time for our calls, each time. You can do this from anywhere in the world.

· Beginning in September, we meet for two 90-minute group calls per month. In December we have just one call and in August we have no calls – a total of twenty-one 90-minute calls.

· On the call we check in, noticing what’s alive for us as we begin our call and sharing where we’re making progress and where we need help. We’ll also take time to notice what’s working and to share hints and tips. This is a powerful way to share best practice and to build momentum towards our goals. We’ll also choose an area of focus for each call – an area in which group members want to make progress. We’ll explore this area before setting up clear and uncompromising intentions for our time between calls. All of these intentions will reflect the overarching goals of helping you to deepen your experience of living NVC. Finally, we’ll take time to check out, noticing what you are taking away from the call.

· As your group coach, I’ll be providing coaching throughout each call and to every member of the group. This isn’t about “taking it in turns” – it’s about working together in ways which engage us all, all the time.

· Between calls, and during December, you’ll be putting your intentions into action and noticing what works – and what doesn’t. Prior to each call, you’ll check in with yourself and get ready to check in with the group. In August, the group will take a break – and maybe you will, too.

· Six times a year I’ll be offering an additional, optional 60-minute call. Each call offers an opportunity to focus on an area of interest to you and to identify and explore practices to support you in that area. I’ll be drawing on practices from the field of NVC and elsewhere as well as on your experience of what works and what doesn’t work to help you to enrich both your understanding of each area and to expand the range of practices available to you to support you in living NVC. I’ve scheduled the dates and suggested some areas on which you may wish to focus. We’ll be reviewing the curriculum as we go to ensure it meets your needs.

· Your non-refundable deposit of £325.00 plus VAT secures your place in the group. I will send you an invoice for your five additional instalments of £320.00 plus VAT in September and November 2009 and January, March and May 2010.

· Over the year, you will stretch and grow into the learning and actions that will propel you forward, helping you both to accelerate your progress and to stay the course. You’ll benefit from a growing momentum and awareness of progress – your own, and that of the group.

· I hope you’ll be able to come to all of our group coaching calls, but if circumstances cause you to miss a call, I’ll record it so you can listen to it later.

I enjoyed the coaching from Dorothy, the combination of her skill, the quality of her listening warmth and humour was very effective and helpful. Thanks.

Jayaraja
NVC colleague

The Living NVC Coaching Group: What It’s Not

· The Living NVC Coaching Group is not an open group to which members come and go. It is a group for a limited number of individuals who sign up with a firm commitment to membership of the group for a full year. If you have questions to ask to help you to assess the extent to which the group is designed to meet your needs I invite you to ask your questions before you sign up for membership of the group.

· The Living NVC Coaching Group is not a training programme. There’s no curriculum and I won’t be training you. Instead, I’ll be your coach. That means I’ll be using a coaching approach to help you to tap into your own inner resources. In this way you will determine your own curriculum – the ground you need to cover to move forward – and find your own answers. In this way, you’ll be finding your own way forward.

· The Living NVC Coaching Group is not an NVC Practice Group or an Empathy Group. Whilst the teaching element of the programme offers input and guidance, our work in the coaching sessions is to help you to find your own answers. There may be times, for example, when questions are designed to help you to give yourself empathy rather than to offer it to you. In this way you learn to meet your needs yourself in the moment and to develop the skills you need to support you long after our work together has finished.

· The Living NVC Coaching Group is not a substitute for one-to-one support. Whilst the focus will, at times, be on you, this will be in the context – always – of the larger group. So, whilst you can expect this group to be a place of understanding, celebration and support and whilst you can expect your own understanding and practice of NVC to deepen through our work together, you may find you have needs which for which you will need to seek support outside the group.

I’d thoroughly recommend Dorothy as an authentic, experienced and elegant coach. My experience of being part of any initiative she has organised has been highly positive. I’m sure this will be a great opportunity and catalyst for group members.

Allison Mitchell
Key Note Speaker and author of Time Management for Manic Mums and
Co-Author of Making It: Women Entrepreneurs Reveal Their Secrets of Success

Your “Input” Calls: Areas of Focus

We will be adjusting the programme for our “input” calls as we go to meet the needs of the group. Sessions might include:

· NVC and the Law of Attraction: What is the Law of Attraction? What are the core principles of the Law of Attraction? What do we seek to attract (and how) by committing to a life of non-violence?
· Committing to a life of choice: What do we mean when we talk about living “at choice” or even “at cause”? What does it mean to live your life “at choice”? What NVC and other practices support us in creating a life “at choice”?
· NVC and empathy: NVC places connection or rapport at the centre of a nonviolent approach. What NVC practices have we found most effective in building harmonious relationships – with ourselves and with others? What practices from other disciplines can support us?
· Transforming anger and other “other-focused” emotions: What role do anger, guilt, shame and other “other-focused” emotions play in our lives? What practices does NVC offer for the transformation of these emotions? What practices are available from other disciplines to help us to transform these emotions?
· Saying it like it is: What messages do you find most difficult to express? What can you do to prepare yourself to share your truth – and to leave others to own their responses? What practices from NVC and elsewhere can you draw on to support you?
· Ultimate choices: In what areas of your lives do you face the greatest challenge in owning and honouring your needs? What are the ultimate choices you face in those areas? How can you use nonviolent communication to move things forward in your areas of ultimate choice?

Introducing Dorothy Nesbit, Your Group Coach

With a background in training and consulting and a lifelong focus on leadership and personal effectiveness I am both new to coaching and a seasoned coach. Throughout my career I have been involved in coaching leaders. Recognising this led me to the decision, in 2003, to name coaching as a part of my practice and to begin the journey towards establishing a coaching practice and towards professional accreditation.

2003 was also the year in which I first heard of Marshall Rosenberg and Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Amongst the many fields in which I have studied, including leadership competencies and emotional intelligence, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and nonviolent communication (NVC), NVC touched a chord and has become a touchstone for me – a coming home. Since I first read Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life I have participated in 35 days training in NVC.

As a coach, I offer a compassionate approach, aiming to provide a balance of challenge and support which is uniquely tailored to meet the needs of each client. My coaching is rooted in my understanding of what works across a variety of areas in clients’ professional and personal lives. My coaching is rooted in my own life experience and in my deep and continuing learning journey. My coaching is rooted in my own commitment to nonviolence.

My current coaching portfolio includes both executive and personal clients and I like to work with clients in a deep and lasting coaching relationship. My choice to offer coaching groups reflects both my love of working with groups and my commitment to offer coaching as widely as I can.

You can get to know me ahead of time by looking at my website (at www.learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk) and my blog (at http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com). I also attach two coaching CVs.

Although my first experience of working with Dorothy was not coaching related, it was later as an executive coach that her skills and values shone through. She has (in my experience) a unique level of insight and empathy which allows her to interact in a most effective way. Like all good coaching, it’s not always comfortable, but it is always immensely valuable and pragmatically useful from the moment the session ends.

Derrick Murray
Director of Operations
Munich Re, UK Life Branch

Your Coaching Schedule: Start The Week The Way You Mean To Go On!

Our calls will take place on Mondays at 2.15pm. Make yourself a cuppa, make yourself comfortable and get ready to start the week the way you mean to go on!

Our group coaching calls will take place on September 7th & 21st, October 5th & 19th, November 2nd, 16th & 30th 2009, and January 11th & 25th, February 8th & 22nd, March 8th & 22nd, April 12th & 26th, May 10th & 24th, June 7th & 21st and July 5th & 19th 2010.

Our expert input calls will take place on October 12th and December 7th, 2009 and January 18th, March 15th, May 17th and July 12th 2010.

How To Register: Steps 1, 2 and 3…

1. Check in with yourself! As soon as you know this group’s for you, please send me an e-mail at dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk to reserve your place in the group.

2. I’ll let you know if there’s still a place available and send you your first invoice. Paying your deposit will reserve your place in the group.

3. As soon as I receive your deposit, our work begins! We’ll schedule your one-to-one “getting started” call and I’ll send you brief preparatory papers. I’ll send you details of your conference call number and pin about one week before our first group call.

Next Steps

Please think about whether this group is for you – and let me know. If you’d like to ask questions do drop me a line at dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk to schedule a call.

And if you know of others who might be interested – others, even, with whom you’d like to work (and play!) in this group, please forward this e-mail to them.

As Dorothy’s coach, I know that she is a true advocate for authentic personal and professional leadership.

Dorothy is absolutely committed, as a coach, to working with you to access your own innate resources, clarity, and authentic voice. She shines a light on your dreams, passions, and wisdom, and calls you forth into the full expression of those natural talents, in work and in life.

Dorothy brings energy, passion, focus, humour, and wisdom to her life and work. You can count on your journey with Dorothy, either as an individual or group client, to be a spirited one with lots of fun, challenge, and great reward.

As your coach, Dorothy understands your needs and desires. She sponsors your unique dreams and talents. You can look forward to a coach and a group that supports, challenges, and calls you forth to make your vision, of yourself, your business, and your life, a reality. I can’t think of a better coach for you to have on the path of taking nonviolent communication into the world.

Lynne Fairchild
Professionally Certified Coach

Announcing the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group

Today I sent out an invitation to join the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group which I also share here:

Are you drawn to explore Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (NVC) – to understand the spirit and to master the practice of NVC?

Having begun your studies of NVC, are you eager to build firm foundations for your own practice of NVC?

Are you looking for support for your learning in NVC – something that will help you both to understand the theory of NVC and to put it into practice?

I’m excited to announce the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group. This is a coaching group for 6 – 8 people who are committed both to understand the theory and to master the practice of NVC.

I’m looking for the 6 – 8 people for whom this coaching group is a longed-for and exciting source of focus, momentum and support – a catalyst for new possibilities.

Please help me by signing up for this group and/or by forwarding this e-mail to those people you know for whom this might be the right thing at the right time – right now!

I was very moved by Dorothy’s presence and contributions to the group during a recent NVC experience where we met. In particular, she approached people’s hearts and their situations with great care, consideration and insight. I loved her warm laughter and soft tears – a wise, vibrant lady!

Dorota Godby
Live the Gift Coaching

The NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group: About you

You have already started to study Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Perhaps you have read his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language for Life or attended a two-day Foundation Programme. Perhaps you have listened to tapes, watched DVDs or attended other events.

As someone who is new to NVC, you can already see the possibilities Nonviolent Communication offers to you. You are attracted to a way of being in the world which places a high value on your needs and on the needs of others. You can see the potential of NVC to improve your relationships – your relationship with yourself as well as your relationships with others. You are enjoying the potential of NVC for you in your work and home life. Perhaps you are beginning to imagine a world in which the principles of nonviolence underpin everyone’s communication. You want to live your own life in this spirit and to master the spirit and practices of NVC.

At the same time, you recognise just how different Nonviolent Communication is from the ways you have learnt until now. Perhaps you want to understand the theory of NVC. Perhaps, whilst you understand the theory of NVC, there have been times when you have found it hard to translate that theory into practice or have struggled with the responses you have encountered to your new ways of communicating. You recognise that you have embarked on a journey of learning for which you need support.

You would like that support to help you to understand the theory of NVC, to enter the spirit of NVC and to master the practice of NVC. You feel excited when you think of joining up to seven of your fellow NVC practitioners who, like you, want to build firm foundations for their practice of NVC. You feel excited when you think of joining up to seven people who, like you, are committed to undertake whatever journey of learning they need in order to lay those firm foundations.

You are ready to bring everything that you are to the group – your strengths, your fears, your dreams, your inner resources. You’re ready to share yourself fully and honestly with other members of the group and to seek the help and support you need to move forward. It’s not that you need to be rescued – you know that this learning journey is yours to make! You’re ready to invest your time, effort and learning in order to build firm foundations for your use of NVC.

The real pleasure of knowing Dorothy as a colleague and as a coach is her powerful and infectious enthusiasm for inspiring others to develop. She achieves this by truly engaging you with her curiosity, her integrity, her commitment and her ability to enable you to believe you can be all you set out to be. I would never hesitate to recommend Dorothy.

Lindsey Waddell
Coach and Organisation Development Consultant

The NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group: Affordable Help, Just When You Need It

When you join the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group you make a one-year commitment to a group of 6 – 8 people who, like you, are committed to building firm foundations for their practice of NVC.

Your annual fee of £2,125.00 plus VAT (payable in ten easy instalments – see below) gives you access to a comprehensive package of group coaching and other support:

· From September 2009 to July 2010 the group meets for 90 minutes, twice a month by conference call, with a break in December – a total of 21 group coaching calls;
· An additional nine one-hour conference calls provide an optional “training” input to support you in areas that matter most to you – a curriculum that provides teaching input in the fundamental areas you will need to master NVC;
· Prior to joining the group, a one-hour one-to-one telephone coaching session will help you to get clear on your goals and on those areas in which you most want to make progress with support of the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group;
· A second coaching session will be available to you at the end of the programme to help you to notice and celebrate your progress during the year.

Early bird registration

I’m eager to get this group started, with a membership of 6 – 8 committed NVC practitioners. If this is exciting for you, I’d like to offer a 10% discount for you, provided you register by Friday 7th August and pay your first instalment by 14th August. Places will be allocated on a first come, first served basis.

Your payment schedule

Your total annual fee for this group is £2,125.00 plus VAT. You can pay this as a single annual payment in August or take advantage of our payment schedule. This comprises a non-refundable deposit of £325.00 plus VAT which secures your place in the group, followed by nine additional instalments of £200.00 plus VAT payable in September, October and November 2009 and January, February, March and May, June and July 2010.

Should you take advantage of our early bird registration your total annual fee will be reduced by 10% to £1,912.50 plus VAT. You can pay this as a single annual payment in August or take advantage of our payment schedule. This comprises a non-refundable deposit of £292.50 plus VAT which secures your place in the group followed by nine payments of £180.00 plus VAT.

Offering value for money to committed NVC practitioners

Joining the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group is a significant investment of your time, money and energy. I hope you find the value you get from joining this group way exceeds your expectations.

Perhaps you’re also wondering: how I can offer such a comprehensive package at this cost? I’d like to tell you how – and why.

By working as a group, the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group offers the same quality support at a fraction of the cost of one-to-one coaching. At the same time, group coaching offers an experience one-to-one coaching just can’t provide.

What’s more, your two one-to-one coaching hours are available to you at the same cost as your group coaching hours – a significant discount on my standard coaching fees for private clients. In effect, I am offering you a rare “deal”: in exchange for this extraordinary discount, you agree to become an advocate for my business, letting people know about the services and the quality of service that I provide.

And there’s more! As long as you are a member of the NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group, you are eligible for a discount on additional one-to-one coaching. This will be available to you for the duration of your membership of this group at £100.00 plus VAT per hour – that’s one third off my standard fees for private clients and small business owners.

These fees reflect my commitment to offer support to a group I passionately want to support – new practitioners of NVC.

Hi there Dorothy,

You are a beacon in a very bright and amazing forum – and you can quote me on that! I learn so much from all your contributions to the TJ online forum. There’s always useful content, and more than that, the way in which you communicate with, encourage and challenge a wide range of people is an exemplar for us all. You are very generous with your insights (which are often profound) and seemingly-gentle questions, which can often inspire all kinds of revelations and learning. And you are respectful and ethical; that is very clear in how you deal with others. You are blazing a trail with what you are doing and deserve to succeed – I think group coaching is the right idea at the right time with the right coach leading the charge.

Dawn Sillett
Member of the Training Journal Daily Digest

The NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group: How It Works

Here’s how it works:

· Once you know this is the group for you, you make a one-year commitment to the group with the option to continue our work together beyond Year 1 if this is what the group wants. As soon as you sign up, we’ll schedule your one-to-one preparatory coaching session at a time to suit you. Your first group call will lay the foundations for our work together, helping you and other group members to connect with each other and agreeing key ways of working together right from the start.

· Throughout the year, you will have a programme which includes both “training” calls with a curriculum and group coaching calls. In this way you will have the opportunity both to learn the theory and to make rapid progress in your practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

· As your group coach, I schedule and facilitate each meeting. I provide a format for our work together – at least to begin with. You’ll also have the input and support of 6 or 7 amazing people who, like you, are committed to making the journey of learning that will make it possible to master the spirit and practice of NVC.

· Our group calls take place by conference call at a number and with a pin code that is unique to our group. You commit to dial in on time for our calls, each time. You can do this from anywhere in the world.

· Beginning in September, we meet for two 90-minute group calls per month. These are the group’s coaching calls. In December we have just one call and in August we have no calls – a total of twenty-one 90-minute calls.

· On the coaching call we check in, noticing what’s alive for us as we begin our call and sharing where we’re making progress and where we need help. We’ll also take time to notice what’s working and to share hints and tips. This is a powerful way to share best practice and to build momentum towards our goals. We’ll also choose an area of focus for each call – an area in which group members want to make progress. We’ll explore this area before setting up clear and uncompromising intentions for our time between calls. All of these intentions will reflect the overarching goal of helping you to build firm foundations for your use of Nonviolent Communication. Finally, we’ll take time to check out, noticing what you are taking away from the call.

· As your group coach, I’ll be providing coaching throughout each call and to every member of the group. This isn’t about “taking it in turns” – it’s about working together in ways which engage us all, all the time.

· Between calls, and during December, you’ll be putting your intentions into action and noticing what works – and what doesn’t. Prior to each call, you’ll check in with yourself and get ready to check in with the group. In August, the group will take a break – and maybe you will, too.

· Nine times a year I’ll be offering an additional, optional 60-minute call. These calls are designed to provide training input against a curriculum of learning which is designed to help you to understand the core components and to master the skills of Nonviolent Communication. The curriculum for these calls is outlined below.

· Your non-refundable deposit of £325.00 plus VAT secures your place in the group. I will send you an invoice for your additional instalments of £200.00 plus VAT in September, October and November 2009 and January, February, March and May, June and July 2010.

· Over the year, you will stretch and grow into the learning and actions that will propel you forward, helping you both to accelerate your progress and to stay the course. You’ll benefit from a growing momentum and awareness of progress – your own, and that of the group.

· I hope you’ll be able to come to all of our group coaching calls, but if circumstances cause you to miss a call, I’ll record it so you can listen to it later.

I enjoyed the coaching from Dorothy, the combination of her skill, the quality of her listening, warmth and humour was very effective and helpful. Thanks.

Jayaraja
NVC colleague

Your Training Curriculum: Building Firm Foundations

We will be adjusting the curriculum for our training calls as we go to meet the needs of the group. Sessions might include:

· Introduction and overview: An introduction to the spirit and practice of Nonviolent Communication. Includes an introduction to the spirit and intention of Nonviolent Communication and an overview of the four steps;
· Owning your choices: This session helps you to recognise the extent to which you do have choices and invites you to let go of the idea that you “should” or “have to” do anything. This session also helps you to choose your responses to others, differentiating between cause and stimulus and between an observation and conclusion or judgement;
· Understanding your own needs: Why do your needs matter and how can you connect with them? This “how to” session includes noticing your own “need signals” (feelings and bodily reactions) and differentiating between needs and strategies;
· Hearing and receiving others: This session builds on your learning about understanding your own needs by helping you to tune in to other’s feelings and needs no matter how they are expressed;
· Sharing your needs with others: This session helps you to share your needs with others in ways they can hear. This includes understanding the difference between a request and a demand, making requests that build rapport, and identifying different kinds of request;
· Transforming anger: This session looks at the role anger plays in our lives and the effect it has on our ability to communicate with each other. We also explore ways to transform anger so that we can connect with our unmet needs and make requests that others can hear;
· Saying it like it is: Using Nonviolent Communication to express yourself fully and openly – no matter what! This session looks at some of the messages you and others find difficult to express and helps you to translate these into Nonviolent Communication;
· Gratitude and celebration: We identify what more becomes possible when we can experience and express gratitude and celebration. We also look at the “how to” of connecting with our needs met and expressing gratitude and celebration.

The NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group: What It’s Not

· The NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group is not an open group to which members come and go. It is a group for a limited number of individuals who sign up with a firm commitment to membership of the group for a full year. If you have questions to ask to help you to assess the extent to which the group is designed to meet your needs I invite you to ask your questions before you sign up for membership of the group.

· The NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group is not an NVC Practice Group or an Empathy Group. Whilst the teaching element of the programme offers input and guidance, our work in the coaching sessions is to help you to find your own answers. There may be times, for example, when questions are designed to help you to give yourself empathy rather than to offer it to you. In this way you learn to meet your needs yourself and you take skills from the programme you can apply elsewhere.

· The NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group is not a substitute for one-to-one support. Whilst the focus will, at times, be on you, this will be in the context – always – of the larger group with a specific focus and agenda. So, whilst you can expect this group to be a place of understanding, celebration and support and whilst you can expect your own understanding and practice of NVC to deepen through our work together, you may find you have needs which for which you will need to seek support outside the group.

I’d thoroughly recommend Dorothy as an authentic, experienced and elegant coach. My experience of being part of any initiative she has organised has been highly positive. I’m sure this will be a great opportunity and catalyst for group members.

Allison Mitchell
Key Note Speaker and author of Time Management for Manic Mums and
Co-Author of Making It: Women Entrepreneurs Reveal Their Secrets of Success

Introducing Dorothy Nesbit, Your Group Coach

With a background in training and consulting and a lifelong focus on leadership and personal effectiveness I am both new to coaching and a seasoned coach. Throughout my career I have been involved in coaching leaders. Recognising this led me to the decision, in 2003, to name coaching as a part of my practice and to begin the journey towards establishing a coaching practice and towards professional accreditation.

2003 was also the year in which I first heard of Marshall Rosenberg and Nonviolent Communication. Amongst the many fields in which I have studied, including leadership competencies and emotional intelligence, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and Nonviolent Communication (NVC), NVC touched a chord and has become a touchstone for me – a coming home. Since I first read Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life I have participated in 35 days training in NVC.

As a coach, I offer a compassionate approach, aiming to provide a balance of challenge and support which is uniquely tailored to meet the needs of each client. My coaching is rooted in my understanding of what works across a variety of areas in clients’ professional and personal lives. My coaching is rooted in my own life experience and in my deep and continuing learning journey. My coaching is rooted in my own commitment to nonviolence.

My current coaching portfolio includes both executive and personal clients and I like to work with clients in a deep and lasting coaching relationship. My choice to offer coaching groups reflects both my love of working with groups and my commitment to offer coaching as widely as I can.

You can get to know me ahead of time by looking at my website (at http://www.learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk/) and my blog (at http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com/). I also attach two coaching CVs.

As a coach and colleague Dorothy brings enormous warmth and playful vitality, alongside a masterful use of the penetrating question. Her own deep commitment to creating the life she wants inspires you to keep your promises and to take leaps towards your own dreams.

Dr Rosie Miller
PCC and International Business Coach

Your Coaching Schedule

Our calls will take place on Tuesdays at 2.30pm. Make yourself a cuppa, make yourself comfortable and get ready to start the week the way you mean to go on!

Our group coaching calls will take place on September 8th & 22nd, October 6th & 20th, November 3rd, 17th, & December 1st 2009, and January 12th & 26th, February 9th & 23rd, March 9th & 23rd, April 13th & 27th, May 11th & 25th, June 8th & 22nd and July 6th & 20th 2010.

Our expert input calls will take place on October 14th, November 10th and December 8th, 2009 and January 19th, February 16th, March 16th, May 18th, June 15th and July 13th 2010.

How To Register: Steps 1, 2 and 3…

1. Check in with yourself! As soon as you know this group’s for you, please send me an e-mail at dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk to reserve your place in the group.

2. I’ll let you know if there’s still a place available and send you your first invoice. Paying your deposit will reserve your place in the group.

3. As soon as I receive your deposit, our work begins! We’ll schedule your one-to-one “getting started” call and I’ll send you brief preparatory papers. I’ll send you details of your conference call number and pin about one week before our first group call.

Next Steps

Please think about whether this group is for you – and let me know. If you’d like to ask questions to help you decide please drop me a line at dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk to schedule a call.

And if you know of others who might be interested – others, even, with whom you’d like to work (and play!) in this group, please forward this e-mail to them.

As Dorothy’s coach since 2005, I know that she is a true advocate for authentic personal and professional leadership.

Dorothy is absolutely committed, as a coach, to working with you to access your own innate resources, clarity, and authentic voice. She shines a light on your dreams, passions, and wisdom, and calls you forth into the full expression of those natural talents, in work and in life.

Dorothy brings energy, passion, focus, humour, and wisdom to her life and work. You can count on your journey with Dorothy, either as an individual or group client, to be a spirited one with lots of fun, challenge, and great reward.

As your coach, Dorothy understands your needs and desires. She sponsors your unique dreams and talents. You can look forward to a coach and a group that supports, challenges, and calls you forth to make your vision, of yourself, your business, and your life, a reality. I can’t think of a better coach for you to have on the path of taking nonviolent communication into the world.

Lynne Fairchild
Professionally Certified Coach

For practitioners of Nonviolent Communication: coaching groups

Even as I head towards a summer break I am busy progressing my plans to offer a series of coaching groups. My invitation to new coaches to join a group to support them in building their coaching practice has already gone out and is available on this blog (at http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com/2009/07/new-coaches-making-transition-from.html). I am talking to clients in a range of commercial organisations about coaching groups for people in leadership roles – my primary client base. In the next three days I shall be sending out invitations to fellow practitioners of Nonviolent Communication.

My choice of groups offered reflects some of my most heartfelt concerns. As I write I recognise that the groups of people I am reaching out to all have one thing in common: they are all influential in creating the world we live in. And most – if not all – of them set out to create a world in which everyone can thrive.

Perhaps it’s because I, too, want to contribute to creating a world in which everyone can thrive that, after talking with some of my colleagues in the field of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I decided to add a third group to the two groups I was already planning. This third group is for people who are offering trainings in NVC and other events. I’d love to help my colleagues to create a growing audience for this approach, which offers so much in situations which range from communication at home to international conflict resolution.

What groups did I decide on in the end? I’ll be sending out invitations this week for the following groups:

  • NVC “Firm Foundations” Coaching Group: a coaching group to support people who want to understand the spirit and master the practice of Nonviolent Communication;
  • The “Living NVC” Coaching Group: a coaching group for committed practitioners of NVC who want to take time on a regular basis to explore what it means to live and work from a place of nonviolence; and
  • The NVC Marketing Group: a coaching group to support NVC trainers who are committed to learn how to market their NVC offering in ways which attract the people they most want to work with – whilst also meeting their own needs.

I am excited to send out these invitations and to see what response I get. I am trusting that these groups will all – in their own time – find their audience.

And if you know anyone who might be interested to join them, I hope you forward this information to them.

Warmth, vitality – and penetrating questions

One way that coaching clients find me is via my colleagues in the coaching profession. To whom, for example, do you refer your sister or husband or best friend when they ask for your recommendation? And what about the person who comes to you for coaching for whom you’re not a good match?

This is one more reason for coaches to build relationships with their colleagues: it helps to know a range of people to whom you can refer potential clients. Perhaps it’s worth adding that, for me, it’s a hallmark of a professional coach that he or she recognises – and acts on – those times when it’s in the best interest of the person seeking coaching to refer them on: perhaps to another coach, perhaps to another profession.

Personally, I take a very open approach to this process. I do not wish to set up arrangements by which I prioritise any particular coach over any other. I want to be able to give thought to the needs of the person seeking coaching and to make this my chief criterion for referring him or her to a colleague.

Still, as I continue to gather testimonials for the marketing materials for the coaching groups I am planning to run, I’m delighted that, amongst my coaching colleagues, there are some who are happy to refer people to me as potential clients for coaching.

One of these is Dr. Rosie Miller, whom I met via our coaching training and who, like me, is an executive coach. She gave me two quotes to choose from which I share here:

As a coach and colleague Dorothy brings enormous warmth and playful vitality, alongside a masterful use of the penetrating question. Her own deep commitment to creating the life she wants inspires you to keep your promises and take leaps towards your own dreams.”

Dorothy’s combination of warmth, vitality, and insightfulness make her a powerful coaching presence. As a coach and colleague she inspires you to continually take steps to be the best you can be.”

Dr Rosie Miller
PCC and International Business Coach

Looking beyond surface answers

I continue to focus this month on preparing invitations to join a number of coaching groups. Last week I sent out an invitation to New Coaches for a group whose members want to invest in building their coaching practice. Now I’m working on invitations for several groups with a special interest in Non-Violent Communication (NVC).

I’m also starting to talk to my corporate clients about coaching groups for leaders. I’d like to work with a group whose members are focused on building their effectiveness as leaders and another whose members are wanting to develop their coaching style. Of course, if all the groups I am planning come to fruition straight away I’ll have (together with my work with one-to-one coaching clients) a very packed schedule for the year ahead!

I am enjoying the abundance of quotes and testimonials that clients and colleagues have been sending me in response to my request. An initial wave of responses has been followed by a steady stream and I am using these in my marketing materials for the coaching groups. Here on the blog, I hope they will give potential coaching clients a sense of my style and help people to make a choice (either way) that supports them in finding their perfect coach.

The testimonial below is from Chris Mulrooney who was my colleague at the Hay Group. Based in the US, Chris and I crossed paths when we both had responsibilities for the professional development of colleagues and worked together across Europe. I treasured Chris’ ability to look for the best in people and to see their potential as they embarked on learning new skills in some of the technical areas that underpinned Hay’s offerings. He was an inspiration to me then – as now.

Chris left the Hay Group at much the same time as I did and has gone on to senior leadership roles in two successive communities for the elderly – pursuing a passion he has had over the years and putting both his academic learning and his subsequent experience into practice. His testimonial?

I had the great pleasure of serving as a fellow coach and co-trainer with Dorothy for several years in service to Hay Group colleagues in the U.K. and elsewhere in Europe. While I traveled to a number of Hay offices around the globe during my tenure at Hay, I especially looked forward to partnering with Dorothy in the U.K. office during these endeavors. I benefited from having a colleague who asked insightful questions of those we were coaching and of me. Dorothy’s coaching style is warm and engaging, yet she challenges those in her midst to look beyond the surface answers and probe more deeply into the “whys” of behavior. These are the hallmarks of a good coach, and thus I have every reason to believe that Dorothy is of great value to all those she coaches.

Chris Mulrooney

Former colleague at the Hay Group

A true advocate for authentic leadership

As I write, I am savouring the testimonial I received this morning from Lynne, my own coach since 2005.

Lynne wrote this testimonial for me to share with other coaches who might be interested in joining the New Coaches Coaching Group (see http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com/2009/07/new-coaches-making-transition-from.html). At the same time, it speaks to so much that is important to me in my work across a range of client groups, including my clients in the most senior leadership roles in organisations.

Perhaps it speaks to something else, too – something much more personal. For to work with a coach is to allow oneself to be seen fully and in all one’s glory and in-glory. So, to read Lynne’s quote is, for me, to be have been seen fully and still to have been found with strengths to offer and with personal qualities which have the power to inspire. I am grateful to Lynne for her words:

As Dorothy’s coach, I know that she is a true advocate for authentic personal and professional leadership.

Dorothy is absolutely committed, as a coach, to working with you to access your own innate resources, clarity, and authentic voice. She shines a light on your dreams, passions, and wisdom, and calls you forth into the full expression of those natural talents, in work and in life.

Dorothy brings energy, passion, focus, humour, and wisdom to her life and work. You can count on your journey with Dorothy, either as an individual or group client, to be a spirited one with lots of fun, challenge, and great reward.

As your coach in the New Coaches Group, Dorothy understands your needs and desires. She sponsors your unique dreams and talents. You can look forward to a coach and a group that supports, challenges, and calls you forth to make your vision, of yourself, your business, and your life, a reality. I can’t think of a better coach for you to have on the path of building your coaching practice.

Lynne Fairchild
Professionally Certified Coach