In recent weeks, I have been taking time on my blog to explore what it takes to develop a coaching mindset. Having offered some of the presuppositions that can support leaders in developing a coaching style of leadership I went on to offer some exercises for building awareness – of our own presuppositions, of the presuppositions of others.

Today, I offer an exercise to support readers in developing new presuppositions. The exercise is very simple – to “try on” a new presupposition for a day. This could be a presupposition from my October 2008 postings. This could be a presupposition of your own choosing – one that tests you in some way. In times of challenge for example, how about presupposing that your experience is especially designed for your learning, growth and future success?

Choose a presupposition that you’d like to try on for a day. Assuming that your chosen presupposition is true, notice what different thoughts you have and what different actions you take – and with what different outcomes. Take time at the end of the day to reflect on your experiences. Take time with your study partner (if you have one) to explore your experiences and to notice what learning they offer.

Recently, I wrote about the coaching presupposition that we are all creative, resourceful and whole. Professional coaches who work to the definition of coaching and who follow the ethical codes of the International Coach Federation agree to hold their clients as creative, resourceful and whole. Leaders who adopt a coaching style also work from this belief.

But what happens when we hold this belief about some people and we don’t hold this belief about others? This is an approach I call ‘angels and devils’. One sign that we might be playing ‘angels and devils’ is when we view the same behaviour differently on the part of two different people. One example of this was the manager whose assessments of his staff seemed to vary depending on how much he liked them. When his top salesman submitted his figures late on a regular basis it was always the manager’s view that this was OK because he was doing so well. The manager was also forgiving of behaviours which were out of line with the team’s agreed values. However, the manager was quick to criticise other team members for the same behaviours, making it clear they were unacceptable.

This approach tended to stimulate criticism of the manager by staff and prompted capable members of the team to look for jobs elsewhere. As a coach, this manager failed to address behaviours in his star players which he would readily discuss with those he didn’t rate. At the same time, this second group did not value his attempts to ‘coach’ them, believing that his coaching was rooted in a distorted view of them.

My question to you today is, are you playing ‘angels and devils’? And with what outcomes? I invite you to reflect on the following questions:

• What view do you take of different members of your team? To what extent are you able to hold each member of your team as creative, resourceful and whole?
• What conclusions have you reached about members of your team based on their performance? What other factors affect the extent to which you are able to hold your team members as creative, resourceful and whole?
• With what level of ease are you able to hold each member of your team as creative, resourceful and whole?

If you are working with a study partner, take time to share your answers with your study partner. You might find it especially valuable to compare your views of staff at different ends of the spectrum. For what reasons are you able easily to hold some of your staff as creative, resourceful and whole? And, thinking of those members of staff you find it hard to hold as creative, resourceful and whole, what would it take for you to hold this presupposition? What would be different in your relationships with your staff if you were able to hold each and every one as creative, resourceful and whole?

Yesterday, I offered an exercise to help you raise your awareness of our presuppositions and how they inform behaviours. Today, I invite you to use the same exercise to bring to conscious awareness the presuppositions you hold: this is an exercise in observing yourself.

Like yesterday’s exercise, this brief exercise can be carried out at the end of the day – perhaps for a few minutes of quiet time in your office or as you travel home. Notice two or three key conversations you have had during the course of the day. If possible choose a variety of conversations with different people. Review each conversation in turn and ask yourself:

• What did each one of us say and do during each conversation?
• What did the things I said and did presuppose? On what basis do I hold these presuppositions to be true?
• What was the impact of these presuppositions both during our conversation and on the outcomes from our conversation?

If you are working with a study partner, take time to share your answers to these questions with your study partner. Ask your study partner to notice what presuppositions are implied by your input into each conversation. Notice where your study partner has reached the same conclusions as you and where your conclusions differ. Take time to explore the differences – what do they tell you about your presuppositions of which you were not already aware?

Repeating this exercise over a number of consecutive days can raise your awareness of the presuppositions you bring to your conversations and of the impact they have on the outcomes that accrue from your conversations.

If you’ve been reading my postings in recent days, you may be wondering what you can do to become more aware of presuppositions and how they inform our behaviours. I thought I’d take a moment to offer an exercise to help you – with more to come over the coming days.

This exercise is a brief exercise which can be carried out at the end of the day – perhaps as you travel home or for a few minutes of quiet time in your office. It is an exercise in observation – and this in turn can be an exercise in bringing into conscious awareness those things of which you are already aware at some unconscious level. You can take 5 minutes or 50 as follows.

Notice two or three key conversations you have had during the course of the day. If possible choose a variety of conversations with different people. Review each conversation in turn and ask yourself:

• What did each one of us say and do during that conversation?
• What did our words and actions presuppose? How do I know?
• What was the impact of our presuppositions both during our conversation and on the outcomes from our conversation?

If you can, notice the difference between those conversations you view as successful and those conversations you view as unsuccessful.

It can also add to the richness of this exercise if you work with a study partner. If your study partner took part in the same meetings and conversations as you, take time together to ask these questions. If you work in different areas, take time to review one conversation each. In this latter case, when you are observing the observer, notice any presuppositions your study partner may be making as they review their conversation. What do you notice that perhaps your study partner doesn’t?

Repeating this exercise over a number of consecutive days can raise your awareness of the role that presuppositions play in our conversations and of the presuppositions that you and others hold. Over time, you are likely to notice the presuppositions that prevail in your work culture.

As I write I am reflecting on the various work environments I have encountered during my life to date. These include environments in which I have been an employee and environments in which I have been a trainer, consultants and coach. They include environments in which I have been a leader and environments in which I have been a member of a team. They include environments in which I have been a volunteer – an unpaid contributor – as well as environments in which I earn my living. What has characterised those environments in which I have felt most free to give of my best? I especially think of those environments, as I ponder this question, in which the prevailing belief has been that, no matter what people do, they do so with a positive intention.

Perhaps it helps to reflect for a moment on those cultures in which this belief is not held. In these environments, the question “why did he do that?” may well be asked. And still, this question does not always imply a desire to understand. Indeed the question may well be discussed around the business without any direct conversation taking place with the individual concerned – without an honest sharing of experience. In this culture people talk about each other but not with each other.

I think with gladness of those environments in which the general assumption is that, no matter how we experience others’ behaviours, every behaviour has a positive intention. I have experienced these as environments in which people look for the good in those they work with, acknowledging their colleagues and everything they bring. I have experienced these as environments in which people take responsibility for their needs, talking with colleagues, giving direct feedback and making clear requests when they would like something to change. It’s not that requests are always granted. And still, I have observed how interacting in this way builds trust and understanding. And I notice that I have had much more fun in these environments even whilst achieving results.

How, then, does this connect with coaching? In what sense is this a valuable presupposition for a coach to adopt? As a starting point for exploring the many outcomes that come from holding this presupposition, I would suggest that, by holding this presupposition about the person (s)he coaches, the coach invites the person seeking coaching to a better understanding of himself. For when we understand the needs we try to meet by our behaviours – including behaviours we may ourselves find frustrating – we open up new options which better meet those needs. This is especially important when we experience inner conflict – for how can we satisfy apparently opposing needs when we don’t know what they are?

Just as understanding their different needs helps those we coach to find new ways to meet those needs, understanding the needs of others with whom they work can help them to find different strategies for communicating with their colleagues. In this way, coaching from the presupposition that every behaviour has a positive intention can be a way of helping those we coach to focus on those areas in which they can take action and to identify those actions they want to take. I would add that, as with other presuppositions, our own integrity in holding this presupposition sets a powerful example to those we coach.

How, then, can you identify the presuppositions you hold or to take action to develop new ones? Keep reading. In the coming days, I’ll be offering some exercises for you in response to these questions.

David Whyte, in his book The Heart Aroused, tells the story of a conversation between Thomas Edison and his foreman at the time they were working on ways to produce a filament for a lightbulb. Whyte writes:

“Late in his life, Edison was working on a problem of illumination: how to construct a filament for his brand-new electric light bulb, one that would not burn out, as every material he tried seemed to, in the briefest of instants. He had teams of experimenters working on the problem around the clock for months. Finally, the foreman of the works came to him, cap in hand. ‘Mr. Edison, I am sorry to say we have done a thousand experiments and worked thousands of hours to find this filament and I am afraid to say, it has all been for nothing.’ Edison looked back at the man and said, ‘Nonsense, we know a thousand ways in which it doesn’t work!’”

For the foreman, the numerous experiments had all been for nothing – a failure. For Edison, each experiment had yielded new information, providing valuable feedback on ways that didn’t work and allowing the team to focus their attention on finding new approaches.

As much as any other story, this anecdote illustrates what it means to live from the belief that there’s no failure, only feedback. When we allow ourselves the option to try with no guarantee of success, we are likely to be more open to trying out new approaches and to testing whether or not they work. Over time, we become more flexible and adventurous in our approaches and more open to change. Clearly, these are qualities that many employers yearn for in their staff. What’s more, to be able to live with ease at the thought of trying something and finding it doesn’t have the outcome we intend is to create a platform for sustainable health and high performance.

As coaches – whether professional coaches or leaders in the workplace – understanding the principle that there’s no failure, only feedback allows us to come to coaching with an open curiosity. What outcomes is the person seeking coaching wanting? What actions do they want to take? Which of these actions works and which doesn’t? And what’s next? Rather than put those we coach in the wrong, we are able to explore their experiences with them in ways which invite new insights and open up new avenues of exploration.

Coaching from the belief that there’s no failure, only feedback also implies being open to a variety of outcomes from our coaching. If we do not have a need to be “right”, for example, we can give feedback and make observations without any attachment to a particular response. Sometimes the immediate response to feedback may well be a denial or blank incomprehension – to begin with. Given space to reflect, though, as well as a license for our observation to be true and for the individual still to be OK, the person receiving our feedback may well come back and say, yes, I thought about it and I think you may be onto something.

If you would like to learn more about the presuppositions that underpin coaching or to undertake exercises to test and develop your own presuppositions, keep reading. In the coming days, I’ll be exploring additional presuppositions and offering exercises for you.