Ramadan, a time of spiritual reflection

About Dorothy, Your personal and professional well-being, , ,

The sun set at 18:39 this evening, here in Dubai. This is significant, for today is the first day of Ramadan. Sunset is the time when Muslims break their daily fast.

The Gulf News has been preparing for Ramadan. Yesterday it ran an article with advice for those people who, during Ramadan, experience a variety of symptoms which, together, might simply be labelled “indigestion”. The problem, a dietician advises, is not the fasting during the day. Rather, it is the choice to eat high cholesterol foods as part of the evening celebrations. A simple solution is to eat plenty of fruit and vegetables.

The hotel has also been preparing. A single sheet is distributed under doors throughout the hotel on the eve of Ramadan, offering advice for guests on etiquette at this time. The hotel’s restaurants have also been preparing. Even in Dubai’s relatively liberal regime, the bulk of restaurants and cafes are closed during the day throughout the month whilst the hotel has special dispensation to continue to serve its international clientele with certain provisos. (The commercial opportunity that this represents is not lost on the Restaurant Manager). Normally highly visible, the Brasserie has been cloaked with curtains to reduce visibility. The evening buffet will be an Iftar throughout the month of Ramadan.

Some concerns remind me of home. An article this morning, again in the Gulf News, outlines the number of people arrested last year during Ramadan for begging. Some of them were found to be living in hotels. This reminds me of the ongoing debate in London about whether or not to give money directly to the homeless. It seems that here in Dubai, there are people who are ready to come forward to receive the gifts of Muslims at a time when the focus is on acts of kindness.

For the non-Muslim, maybe even for the Muslim, it is easy to be cynical, to make light of everything that Ramadan brings (from the tetchy tempers in the workplace – beware your smoking colleagues at this time – to the fasting followed by – in some cases – excessive consumption), perhaps even to feel anxious: there are so many ways as an outsider, unknowing, to offend.

I take time to reflect on the purpose of Ramadan, recognising the opportunity it represents for a spiritual homecoming, a time to reflect on one’s values and what they mean in practice, a time of kindness and charity. And as I reflect I wonder if, whether Muslim or not, we are not all alike in grappling with the fundamental question: “How shall we live?”

Senior Leadership Teams: what it takes to make them great

Coaching, Developing as a leader, , ,

Tomorrow, I meet my clients here in Dubai. Our focus will be on Executive Coaching as a support to the development of the organisation’s Senior Leadership Team.

Synchronicity is a wonderful thing. Over morning coffee with my valued colleague Patricia Marshall, I mention this forthcoming trip and she offers me a copy of the recently published Senior Leadership Teams: What it takes to make them great. I have been taking the opportunity to read this book, with its veritable roll-call of authers (Ruth Wageman, Debra A. Nunes, James A. Burruss and J. Richard Hackman) by way of preparation.

Based on their research into leadership teams in a wide variety of organisations, the authors lay out six conditions which differentiate outstanding teams at Senior Leadership level. They describe the first three as essential and the second three as enablers. On the surface, the conditions have a whiff of cliche: don’t we all know that the best Senior Leadership Teams have a compelling purpose and direction? And isn’t it axiomatic that you have to have the right people with the right capabilities for the team to succeed? Notwithstanding the authors explore their research with a degree of precision which adds great depth and illustrate it with many examples. It helps, too, that their research is based on work with a list of client organisations that many coaches, consultants and advisers could only admire – maybe even envy.

In my role as Executive Coach, I find good news and bad. Team coaching for the Senior Leadership Team is highlighted as one of the six conditions, an enabler. The authors tell their CEO readers, “Do not skimp on coaching”. Still, coaching alone cannot make up for the absence of other conditions (though it may help the team’s leader to identify and address their absence). What’s more, the authors highlight a surprising finding: that teams do not improve markedly even if all their members receive individual coaching to develop their personal capabilities. I find these pointers thought-provoking and helpful ahead of a meeting to explore my client’s expectations of coaching.

And what would I say to the CEO, pondering whether or not to read this book? If you are sleeping soundly at night in the full knowledge that your Senior Leadership Team is delivering way beyond your expectations you may find better ways to use your time. If, however, you have any sense at all that the team of which you are leader has more to give, if indeed you are tearing your hair out as you wonder why such a talented group of people behave like children in the board room, this book is an invaluable read. Its systematic exploration of its territory offers a way to diagnose the issues you face as well as guidance on how to address them.

Please let me know how you get on in turning your team from good, bad or indifferent to great. Truly great.

Bonjour Dubai

About Dorothy

Even at 7am in the morning when my plane lands the heat is fierce in late August in Dubai, providing confirmation – in case I need it – that I will not be seeking out the midday sun.

It is my first visit to Dubai. I have been reading my guidebook on the way and am ready to find out which of Dubai’s myths are grounded in truth. One bare fact is that 20% or fewer of Dubai’s residents are originally from Dubai, whose phenomenal growth in recent years has been fuelled by immigrant workers, from the armies of builders working in the fierce heat for fewer than 175 US dollars per month to a diverse population of foreign national executives who are here to help Dubai execute an ambitious commercial strategy.

I decide to test the reality of this and, wherever I can do so whilst seeming polite, I ask the people I meet where they come from. My taxi driver from the airport is from Pakistan, soon to reach the end of his three year visa. The young man who serves me lunch with impeccable manners and a winning smile is from Nepal. In the textile souk which I visit on my first day, Indians abound.

Evidence of the executive diversity in Dubai greets me in the form of a large weekend lunch party on the table next to mine. An American shares his store of favourite local phrases. “You know when you ask a Brit how they are and they answer ‘I’m fine'” (there is laughter, perhaps at the dour tone he adopts to say “I’m fine”) “the locals say ‘I’m on top of the palm trees'” (The voice is upbeat. More laughter). “I really love that phrase”. An Indian talks about the latest outsourcing venture in India and I have to listen to his unfolding narrative to believe my ears: did he really say “rent a womb“?

Welcome to Dubai.

Beginnings, middles and endings

Coaching, ,

Today I field an enquiry about coaching from a reader of my postings on a forum for fellow professionals. I remember her vividly even though we have never met – I was touched to receive a card from her a few months back telling me how much she enjoyed my writing. It didn’t escape me that she’d gone to the trouble of going to my website to get hold of my address in order to send me a card. Her card also prompted me to reflect on my love of writing and to begin to explore it more consciously. This blog is one fruit of that conscious exploration.

I take time to respond to her e-mail and it occurs to me to include a testimonial from a client with whom I have recently finished working. I have a sense of a handing over of some metaphorical baton – from a client with whom my work is complete (at least for now) to someone who may or may not become a client in the future.

Working as a coach, my life is populated with such beginnings, middles and endings. It always gives me joy when I hear from someone who is considering investing in coaching – whether or not I end up working with them as a result, their reaching out marks a moment of decision, a first step towards some outcome that they yearn for and in which they want to invest. Such reaching out also marks a step into the unknown – an unknown which, in my experience, often goes way beyond anything people imagine in advance.

What can I say about my coaching “middles”? Many of my clients are senior leaders working in corporations. Some are fellow coaches. A few are fellow entrepreneurs. All are human beings. The dryest of business goals quickly give way to something more personal – the highs, the lows, the times of feeling stuck, the times of moving forward, the times of breakthrough and momentum. Oftentimes, such close teamwork brings me an enormous sense of privilege.

And what about the endings? These are a time to review progress and to formulate a forward path. To do this is often to sit up and take notice of – to celebrate – the progress that has been made. They are a time to mark the completion of a phase of coaching. This is not always welcome: some clients somehow never quite make time to book a final meeting, as if to do so is to recognise that yes, our coaching is over. Sometimes an ending gives way, in time, to some new beginning as former clients return to resume our work together.

Beginnings, middles, endings… I celebrate them all.

The joy of blogging

About Dorothy,

It does me good to get out every now and then, both literally and metaphorically.

This weekend I celebrated the marriage of my dear friend Kenny Tranquille to his soulmate and partner Karen, now Karen Tranquille. They married in the walled garden of the Rowhill Grange Hotel in Kent, a wonderful setting for the most personal of ceremonies. As I write this posting I get to celebrate all over again.

Whilst I was there, I had a conversation which – to keep things uncharacteristically brief – led me on my return to go Googling to learn more about a man called Hugo Schwyzer. I discovered Hugo has a blog and I dived in. A fairly random browse quickly led me to the discovery that he has been married and divorced three times and is engaged to be married for a fourth time. His blog also had an index of postings so, curious, I looked for “divorce” and read what he had to say about this.

Now, following the conversation I mentioned, I had hoped to hear Hugo speak this evening at the Kabbalah Centre in London. However, by the time I got home to check my diary I remembered that I’ve already arranged to have supper with my friend Andy. This is tucked between my return from Japan and his departure for Australia and something I don’t want to miss.

Still, reading Hugo’s blog reminded me of the facility to label postings so that readers can easily search for topics of interest at a later date. This is the first posting I am labelling in this way.

I am curious about the what this might lead to in time.

Coaching: a global study of successful practices

All articles

Sometimes, thoughts and ideas come together in new ways.

Every now and again, I send out information and resources that come my way to friends, colleagues and clients with an interest in coaching. Recently I forwarded information about a new study, published in May 2008 by the American Management Association, about coaching. The study does what it says on the tin: it’s a global study of successful practices in coaching.

One of my colleagues dropped me a line and asked: what about forming a shared online resource for coaches? I confess, my heart sank – something else to take care of? No thank you. And still, two days later, I suddenly realise my blog is as good a place as any to post the link. Here it is:

http://www.amanet.org/editorial/webcast/2008/coaching.htm

It’s a chunky read! I look forward to hearing how you get on.

Blood test “before and after” – the results speak for themselves

Alternative approaches, Your personal and professional well-being, , ,

Today I received my photos following my visit to see Kate A’Vard. Kate is helping me to make a transition towards an alkalarian diet. My aim over time is to eat about 75% vegetables. It’s an “up and down” journey for me, so it was encouraging to get her feedback when I met with her recently.
I feel excited when I look at the difference between the photos from my first visit (above) and the photos from my second visit (below). Something I’m doing is obviously working.
I especially feel excited as I think about becoming healthier and healthier as my life progresses.
I am celebrating as I write.

Following your bliss

Emotional Intelligence

There are times in our lives when we are called to step forward to embrace something new. Perhaps “new” is the promotion we didn’t think we were capable of taking on and which still seems to be calling us. Perhaps “new” is the approach or behaviour that we know is needed if we are to be successful yet which stimulates fear or “just doesn’t feel like me”. Perhaps “new” is to recognise the relationship that isn’t working or the time to move on.

Amongst the most challenging callings is the call to recognise the need not just for a minor tweak in our lives but for a major re-examination. Such times have included the moment of recognising that all the actions you have taken have done nothing to make your unhappy marriage a place of mutual understanding or the moment of recognising that no amount of success in your current career has stilled the voice that is calling you to something different and, as yet, unknown. Sometimes the calling is to recognise that it’s time to stop thinking that it is a change in your outer circumstances (new job, new partner, new body parts…) that will make the difference that you yearn for and to start addressing what you bring that creates a repeated pattern of unhappiness.

The moment of recognition can bring fear and excitement in equal measure: fear to that part of us which yearns for stability, safety, security; excitement to that part of us which yearns to embrace and express our full potential, that part of us which knows what it means to be alive. Of course, it’s easy to dismiss one part or the other, to be guided by the fear or by the excitement alone. In truth, both parts have a role – a part – to play.

I think of this this today as I reflect on the day’s coaching appointments and the challenges my clients are currently facing. And I smile as I recall the phrase that Joseph Campbell uses in his powerful book The Power of Myth. In this book he describes the process of responding to your inner calling and the quality of living that can follow when you are guided by your inner voice, calling on a wide range of mythological stories to illustrate his point of view.

For Campbell, to respond to your inner calling is to follow your bliss, a phrase which needs no further explanation.

The Spice of Life: where Monday night is feast night

About Dorothy

Almost twenty years after moving to Lewisham, the Spice of Life Indian restaurant remains a firm favourite. In recent years, the Spice has established Monday night as feast night, turning an otherwise quiet night into a busy local attraction. On feast night visitors enjoy a starter, main course, vegetables, rice and bread – not to mention the restaurant’s usual friendly and efficient service – for a special price of just ten pounds a head.

During the summer, my nephew Edward has been living with me whilst preparing his final portfolio of music as part of the MA he has been taking at the Guildhall School of Music. We have been regular visitors during his stay to the Spice and this evening we enjoy feast night.

Our conversation is wide-ranging. The food, by contrast, speaks for itself.

When feedback provides motivation for the journey

Alternative approaches, Emotional Intelligence, Your personal and professional well-being, , , ,

I am both a new hand and a longtime journeywoman on the road to alkalarianism. On 25th March of this year I had my first consultation with Kate A’Vard* who is providing support as I gradually adopt a new way of eating. The journey that led to this first consultation has included many choices and a great deal of research and exploration over a number of years.

On the long journey of life it’s easy to focus so much on the width of the gap between where you are and where you want to be that the gap itself seems insurmountable. So, as I approach my second consultation with Kate, I wonder what changes will show up in my blood tests. I am realistic – my diet is currently a mix of new habits and old and I’ve just returned from Japan where vegetables don’t seem to feature much on any menu. Still, I know I will feel disappointed if the changes I have made so far are not reflected in the health of my blood.

Kate begins by asking me how I’m getting on and what changes I’ve noticed. In recent months I have lost some of the extra weight I am carrying, my skin is baby soft and I am increasingly aware that my skin improves greatly when I don’t eat dairy products. Even as I think of this I feel a sense of encouragement. Returning from Japan my clothes tell me have put on a pound or two and yet I feel confident that I know what to do to restore my diet and my weight. This knowledge alone gives me a great sense of power and optimism.

Blood tests don’t lie, so I’m eager to see the results and just a little anxious. What if they’re just the same? Kate is able to show me a highly magnified version of my live blood cells and to compare them with photos from our first session. (How cool is that!) She highlights the improvements she observes and identifies my key area of focus for the months ahead. As she talks I can see for myself how perky my blood cells are. I feel a surge of excitement and I know that this alone is providing motivation for my forward journey. I feel ready to punch the air as I leave.

Rushing from my appointment with Kate to a rehearsal I celebrate with a rushed meal that is definitely “off target”. I can afford to treat myself from time to time. Still, fully aware of the benefits that are accruing over time, I am glad to resume my diet today and to celebrate my progress with renewed vigour and commitment.

*Take a look at Kate’s website if you’re interested to know more. You’ll find a link to the left of this posting.