Sustaining a long career

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On Tuesday I went with my niece, Rebecca Nesbit, to a talk on Climate Change.  The talk was by Professor Elinor Ostrom, whose extensive credentials are too long to be listed here but can be found on Wikidepia and elsewhere.  After the talk, Rebecca and I shared what we’d taken away from Ostrom’s presentation.  Rebecca presents a brief summary on her blog of what she took away, under the heading Climate change thoughts from a Nobel Laureate.

I confess that, throughout the talk, I was both listening to the content of Professor Ostrom’s talk and reflecting on Professor Ostrom herself.  Born in 1933, she is still professionally active at the age of 78 and a thoughtful and clearly highly intelligent woman.  I am used to singing under the baton of men who are still conducting at a mature age – I sang with Leonard Bernstein shortly before he died, my opportunity to sing with Georg Solti was snatched away when he died just before a concert, I have enjoyed singing under the baton of Sir Colin Davis for a number of years.  (As it happens, Sir Colin has conducted three generations of my family throughout his career).

So much for the men.  It’s largely outside my experience to meet women who are still professionally active in their late 70s and into their 80s.  I hasten to add that it’s not that they’re not active.  My mother, aged 81, is a legend throughout her local community and across my family for her full portfolio of activities, from the domestic (managing her household, tending her allotment, looking after her youngest grandson etc.) to the community and charitable activities (with long service as a church warden, running the bookstall at the village Saturday market, cooking for the old folks – yes, really! – at the village lunch club, and much more besides).  I still remember Mum’s plans to keep the bookstall books in the attic of her new home when she moved 6 years ago.  Needless to say, as a family, we were quick to discourage her.

So, Professor Ostrom was striking to me as an example of someone who maintains an active professional life well into her third age.  This is not new – there have always been people who do this.  At the same time, our context is such that – it seems to me – the significance of this has changed.  On the same day that I heard Ostrom speak I read (in the Metro I think) of predictions that one third of children born in the UK today will live to be 100 years old.  It seems to me that, with this statistic in mind,  the things we’re currently doing to adapt (changes in pensions, changes in employment legislation) may prove to be wholly inadequate.

Is it possible that we need to radically re-think our approach to work?  This is such an enormous topic that I am struggling to put my arms (or perhaps my metaphorical pen) around it.  Here are just three possible implications:

  • That we need to think much more holistically about the relationship between things we currently view as separate – work, unemployment and retirement.  We need to exercise more judgement based on accurate assessment of the facts and less judgement (as in “condemnation”) based on dogma in order to reshape the way we view the role of work in society;  
  • That we need to re-think our chief measures of success at work and what we want our work to deliver.  Perhaps we need to prioritise sustainability over profit, thinking about how our organisations can contribute to society over time rather than focusing narrowly on “shareholder value”.  (I’m guessing we would make this transition more easily if only we could develop a deeper understanding of the role of money in our lives – what is it we want money to do for us?  For money is never an end in itself and always a means to an end).  Equally, perhaps we need work to deliver people who are not only productive at work but also motivated, resourceful and healthy long after their careers have finished;
  • That we need to plan for careers that span as many as 70 years and which are adapted to our age and stage at each step along the way.  Already, levels of workplace stress and absent-from-work illness suggest we are not doing enough organise work in ways which enrich the lives of workers as much as it contributes to bottom-line profits and other business outcomes.  And the more we plan for a longer career, the more we need to sign up for enjoyment at work – it’s hard to sustain the view that we’re “saving for an enjoyable retirement” when retirement is 50, 60, even 70 years away.

I’d welcome your thoughts and ideas.  What are you doing to adapt to a longer career for you and your staff?

Developing your leadership? Bring on the compassion

Developing as a leader, Emotional Intelligence, ,

You’ve got the promotion.  You’re in your new role.  You’re putting on a brave face.  You’re maxing up the ‘positive self-talk’.  Come on, you can do it.  They wouldn’t have put me in the role if they didn’t think I was up to it.  And remember that project for Asia last year – this can’t be more difficult than that.  You know you have what it takes to succeed – intellectually, you know.  But sometimes, the intellectual knowing just isn’t enough.

It gets worse.  It gets personal.  You know that, in order to succeed, you need to make headway in developing new skills.  Perhaps you need to rely less on your technical skills (as an accountant, lawyer, doctor etc.) and cultivate skills in a whole new area – leadership, emotional intelligence, call it what you will.  Perhaps you have to let go of doing what you’ve always done best and start to deliver with and through others.  You’ve always got huge plaudits for your ability to deliver – but can you get others to deliver in the same way?

Maybe it gets even worse than that.  You know – you know – that whether it’s in this job or another there’s no turning back.  Doing everything yourself was barely working for you in your old job – you have to find new ways of working, whatever your job.  You were on your way to burn-out and you know it.  Or perhaps you’d got as far as you could go by getting angry with yourself, or your staff, and you know you’ve got to find new strategies.

The trouble is, you’ve acknowledged the problem – but you don’t begin to know how to address it.  You’re in one of life’s most tender spots – you’ve crossed a threshold and you don’t know where to go.  Joseph Campbell highlighted this aspect of the human journey in his research which I briefly summarised in one of the most often visited posting on this blog, entitled Joseph Campbell and the hero’s journey.  Crossing the threshold means stepping out of our comfort zone and accepting some challenge or ‘call to adventure’.  Campbell’s research – into the myths of many cultures on this subject – shows how we have to accept the call to adventure before the resources we need begin to show up.

What’s it like to stand in this most tender of spots?  Recently, a conversation with a colleague reminded me of the feelings that can – if we let them – overwhelm us in this place.  Sometimes, there is intense sadness, grief and loss as we acknowledge the impact on our lives of the choices we have made in the past.  We may be overwhelmed with compassion for our younger self who learned, for example, how to do everything personally rather than to face the ire of a parent or teacher when we asked for help.  We may be sorrowful when we realise just how much this early choice has shaped our lives, keeping us from reaching out for help.  And we may be intensely scared when we think of what we might have to do that we have never done before.

Navigating this stage of our own journeys requires a large measure of compassion, both for the way it shines a light on those areas in which we need to develop and for all the emotions that comes with this.  The language of leadership development – ‘areas for development’, weaknesses’, ‘growing edge’ marches on past this level of emotion with barely a side-glance of acknowledgement.  It helps if we are not alone in holding our emotions in this tender place – if we have a trusted coach, or mentor, or peers, or family.  All the love and support we need is available to us, though learning to receive it may be a hero’s journey in itself.

Campbell talks of the hero but we might equally talk of leaders.  Leaders are made in this place, because they are the people who constantly step across each new threshold as they meet it.  And if they can only stand close to the fire of their emotions, they are also the people who learn how to understand themselves and others – an essential quality if we are to lead others in ways which engage and inspire.

If you want to read more about Campbell’s work, I recommend his books (especially The Power of Myth) and also The Hero’s Journey by Robert Dilts and Stephen Gillighan.  For now, though, I wonder, what are the thresholds you face right now?

Listening to the wild dogs barking in your cellar

Developing as a leader, Developing leadership across your organisation, , , ,
Let me adapt some of Nietzsche’s words and say this to you:
“To become wise you must learn to listen to the wild dogs barking in your cellar”

Irvin Yalom
Staring at the Sun:  Overcoming the Dread of Death

I would read anything by Irvin Yalom, which is – far more than its subject matter – how I came to be reading his book Staring at the Sun:  Overcoming the Dread of Death.  I first encountered his deeply compassionate writings when a colleague recommended his book Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy.  I have enjoyed a number of his books including his novels:  Lying on the Couch made me laugh out loud.

Yalom’s work as a psychotherapist has contributed enormously to his field.  Whilst, historically, some psychotherapists have taken the view that psychotherapy is all about the client, Yalom has understood the impossibility for the psychotherapist of being a blank canvas – a distant and dispassionate observer.  For any man or woman brings a personal history to the role of therapist.  The therapist needs to cultivate self awareness in order not to entangle clients in his or her own unfinished business.

What’s more, dispassion and distance does little to promote healing for the client.  Yalom stands alongside Carl Rogers and others in viewing relationship and especially unconditional positive regard as an important contributory factor when it comes to the success of therapy.  His writings offer many examples of interactions with clients which might well horrify colleagues from other branches of his profession.

Now, since I work as a coach and my clients are leaders, you may well be wondering “what has this got to do with me?”  The truth is that both coaches and leaders need high levels of self-awareness if they are to be effective.  Daniel Goleman (in his book Working with Emotional Intelligence) lists three competencies which are concerned with self-awareness, based on research into what makes us effective at work.  Our self awareness is also the basis for our ability to relate to others – our ability to lead, to influence, to develop others (and so on) depends on our willingness to understand others and this, in turn, depends on our willingness to understand ourselves.

Perhaps the greatest challenge is to have empathy for others even whilst recognising the fullness of their strengths, weaknesses, quirks and limitations.  We can only do this if we can view ourselves in the fullness of our own strengths, weaknesses, quirks and limitations.  There can be a paradox here;  for if we believe that excellence in leadership depends on being better than our fellow human beings, we undermine the very basis for our outstanding performance as a leader.

It’s for this reason that the quote above strikes such a deep chord.  When we can listen to the wild dogs barking in our own cellars, we can begin to understand ourselves – and others.  It takes a huge measure of compassion to be present to all sorts of thoughts, feelings, characteristics and motivations which, as children, we have learnt to condemn.  It takes compassion, discipline and dedication.

So, if you want to get by as a leader, you can afford to read this posting – and move on.  If, though, you want to go beyond getting by, I invite you to ponder the quote at the top of this posting.  How willing are you to listen to the wild dogs barking in your cellar?

The leader’s call to power

Developing as a leader,

There’s a theme so familiar in my discussions with leaders that I wonder if I haven’t written about it before.  Still, I feel called to return to the theme of the leader’s call to power.

Now, let’s be clear, many men and women in leadership roles have a highly ambivalent response to the word “power”.  Many times I have heard some variant of the following:  “Power?  No, not me… I don’t go in for that sort of thing”.  “That sort of thing” is of course a negative sort of thing – at least in the eyes of the leader.

My experience over the years – of conducting research into what makes an effective leader, of assessing individuals for leadership roles, of working in coaching partnership with leaders – suggests that an individual’s willingness to embrace and to use power is an essential part of leadership effectiveness. The leader needs to go beyond doing everything personally to engage others to do things.  This is a fundamental shift from personal achievement to working with and through others.  The leader also needs, for example, to hold a vision for the future, sharing it with those s/he leads in ways which engage – this is the use of power to influence others.  The leader needs to use the same power to influence his or her peers, providing input to the overall direction and decision-making of an organisation.

My own observations of the use of power by leaders are intimately bound up with the research of Professor David C. McClelland of Harvard University.  McClelland’s research in the field of human motivation has been made available through his writings and through his work to establish a small consultancy which was bought, in time, by my former employer, the Hay Group.  This afforded me opportunities to apply McClelland’s techniques in my work and to test it through my own personal experience and observation.  McClelland was passionate about sharing his work and his little book Power is the Great Motivator, co-authored with David H. Burnham, is a great place to start if you want to understand his research without wading through dense and academic writings.  (If you do want to wade through dense and academic writings, you might enjoy his longer book, Power:  The Inner Experience).

So why has the exercise of power in leadership got such a bad name amongst the very people who are charged with leadership?  Recently, Art Giser put this in a broad context for me at a talk in Central London in just a few passing comments.  He pointed to the record of many leaders in the 20th Century.  We only have to think of such names as Hitler, Stalin, Chairman Mao, Idi Amin, Slobodan Milosevic, Pol Pot, Mugabe, Bin Laden and Khomeini to realise just how much we fear the embrace of power and its potentially dreadful consequences for humankind.

Our ambivalent relationship with – or outright rejection of – power has also been reflected in our commercial and political activities.  On the very day that I heard Art speak, news broke of the resignation from Goldman Sachs of one of its London-based executives.  Greg Smith wrote an open letter to the New York Times (in itself an exercise of power) in which he said “I can no longer in good conscience say that I identify with what [Goldman Sachs] stands for” and highlighted the number of times in recent months that he had heard senior colleagues describe clients as “muppets”.

The power dilemma has been embodied in recent months by German politicians.  They are – not without reason – highly wary of embracing power in our current economic circumstances.  At the same time, many Europeans are looking to them to provide leadership.  So, whether you are reflecting on the body politic of our time or a leader seeking diligently to fulfil your responsibilities, I write this posting as an invitation to you to reflect on your relationship with power.  For as long as we reject power as an instrument of evil, we also fail to step up to the potential power has as a way of doing good in the world.  Is it not also true, for example, that many people are yearning for the responsible use of power to address the major challenges and issues of our day?

When it comes to consulting your staff

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Years ago I was involved in a project to audit the leadership “bench strength” of a company in the process of de-merger.  The company’s CEO was anxious about the capability of his senior leadership team – it seemed to him that whenever he asked them for ideas at meetings they were slow to contribute.  Interviewing members of his leadership team it became clear why.  To a man (they were all men) the people we interviewed told us how it was always the CEO’s ideas that prevailed – why put forward ideas that will only ever be dismissed?

Whether it was the quality of the leaders’ ideas that were wanting or the CEO’s willingness to explore the ideas of others, this story tells us something about the challenges of consulting our staff.  Daniel Goleman, in his book The New Leaders:  Transforming The Art Of Leadership Into The Science Of Results, highlights the democratic leadership style as one of several that builds resonance amongst employees which, in turn, leads to improved business outcomes.  At the same time, if you plan to consult your employees, you need to think carefully ahead of time.

Here are a few thoughts from me about when and how to consult:

  •  If a decision is urgent, highly critical for the organisation or if your employees lack the skills or knowledge to add value, think carefully before consulting them.  Used well, the democratic style builds commitment to a course of action but, used badly, it can also undermine it.   You need to ask for their input when you’re open to new ideas and have time to explore their input with them and to reach an agreement with them that works for everyone involved;
  • Do what you can to get clear ahead of time about why you want to consult staff and frame your questions to support your desired outcomes.  There’s a big difference, for example, between saying “let’s think about how we can save money” and “we’ve been charged with saving £3 million pounds and  I’d like to work with you to find ways to do this that maintain high levels of service to our customer and improve the efficiency of our processes”.  This is about both clarity and honesty – the more you are clear up front about your aims, the more likely you are to build trust as well as getting the input you need;
  • If you’re going to consult staff, it helps to have in place ground rules for handling the ideas that come up.  De Bono’s Six Thinking Hats provide one framework for brainstorming ideas.  I am, as you may already know, a fan of Roger Schwarz’s ground rules for effective groups – outlined in his book The Skilled Facilitator Approach.  In particular, take care to differentiate between interests and strategies – a strategy is a means to an end and the interest is the end itself.  Exploring how suggestions will contribute to an end result is one way to ensure that ideas are seen to be heard whether or not they are adopted;
  • Be clear ahead of time about how inputs will be used.  If the decision rests with you, then say so.  If it will be made at a more senior levels, then say so.  If you’d like the team to decide, then say so too – and agree up front how a decision will be made.  In this way, you support a positive experience of the democratic style;
  • Think about consulting staff on a regular basis as a way of building their skills and yours.  If your team is new to this style, you might like to start with a light touch – asking them for ideas, for example, about a non-business critical decision that you will make yourself.  Over time, your use of the democratic style will develop the skills of your staff and shape them as a team.  Ultimately, your team should be visible to your boss and to your boss’s peers and seniors as a highly effective team with plenty of ideas to offer to the organisation.  Even so…
  • Start where you are now.  Hold your team with compassion if this kind of consultation is new to them.  Take it one step at a time and use your judgement in deciding when and how to consult.
I’d like to hear about your experiences of consulting or of being consulted.  Please share the good, the bad and the ugly by posting your comment below.

On the joys of a dirty weekend

Developing as a leader

Spring is on its way.  The days are getting longer and the sap is rising.  In recent days misty mornings have given way to gloriously sunny days.  I have been yearning to get out into the garden again.  I did it this weekend, donning my gardening trousers – a wonderful pair of jeans I picked up in Singapore when I visited my brother and sis’-in-law a few years back, with great big pockets on each leg which are just perfect for carrying phones and sundry tools.

First, there was the task of emptying some of the tools that have been in my dining room (along with sundry kitchen items) into my new garden shed.  My small collection of tools had a place in my old kitchen but not in the new, and besides, it is no longer a small collection.  Last week the last remnants of rubbish from the building work were taken away so a second task was to hose down the patio (which, by the way, is far larger than I ever remembered it).

I have been chomping at the bit to start planting and this, too, is something I joyfully embarked on.  This year I have decided to include runner beans in my garden having not eaten them for years following an unfortunate incident as a child which has become legendary in the Nesbit family.  This was a case of “I feel sick” “Just one more mouthful” before I was indeed sick.  Perhaps in a few months’ time I’ll be reporting back – was it just that I was sick one unfortunate time, or do I simply not like broad beans?  I’ll let you know.

So, wellies on, I have been revelling in the great outdoors this weekend – or at least my modest share of it.  I am relishing the dirt that has lodged itself beneath my finger nails and grateful that, today, my coaching appointments will all be by phone.  A part of me wishes I’d discovered such joys much earlier in my life.  It has always been true for me that the more I am connected with nature and its cycle of seasons, the more I am well and at peace with myself.  Even as I write my sense of well-being is stepping forward to greet me.

As you are reading this, I wonder what you have been doing this weekend, week, month, year… that nurtures your sense of health and well-being.  It seems to me that leadership includes, as much as any other duty, the responsibility to model self-care to those we lead.

Compassion: fuel for progress and accountability

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It has long been my view that accountability – including accountability to ourselves – works best when it rests firmly on a compassionate foundation.  It’s all very well to harangue ourselves when we are not making the progress we crave or think we ought but somehow, the haranguing doesn’t make the progress any faster.  Indeed, it tends to depress our spirits and to make us more cautious about or resistant to taking our next steps.
Given this view, I am not the best coach for any client who wants to be “whipped into shape”.  When it comes to checking progress at the top of a coaching meeting I tend to prefer curiosity over any metaphorical flagellation.  If a client hasn’t taken the steps they thought they would (maybe if they still haven’t taken they steps they thought they would) I prefer to explore than to judge or condemn.  Often, the exploration brings new clarity or insights.  Perhaps a client needs help to overcome some inner resistance or to plug a gap in their skills or resources.  Perhaps s/he needs to check if a course of action really does hit the spot.
It’s always a matter of celebration for me when this philosophy is reflected in feedback from a coaching client, as it is below.  For why would we take the hard road when there is a more compassionate route which takes us more quickly to our destination?  And who wouldn’t want a client to achieve outstanding results within a framework of compassion?
This is what one client said about her experience of coaching:
I signed up for weekly telephone coaching with Dorothy following a recommendation from one of her clients who is also a friend of mine.  Initially I thought we’d work for three months or so but several times I extended the coaching and we ended up working for about eight months.
Dorothy facilitated the coaching each week, helping me to identify areas in which I most wanted help.  I thought coaching would be far more instructive than it was but it was me who came up with the answers and next steps.  I valued her empathy – she was extremely caring and supportive which, in hindsight, I needed more than a “crack of the whip”.  She was objective and constructive, and helped me to get clear on what I needed and to take steps forward.  I particularly valued the way she helped me to notice and congratulate myself on some of my achievements, which gave me added motivation and momentum.
As a result of our work together, I’m much clearer than I was about the kind of culture that I want to work in.  I decided to move from a contracting role to a senior corporate role where I’m now adding value and feeling good about myself.  I’ve also taken a look at the leadership qualities I want to exhibit and am taking steps to develop in key areas.
Celestine Hyde
Vice President
Investment Banking

Making the case for child labour

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Last week it was my turn to offer a post for the HRUK group on Linkedin, which is also published at http://discusshr.blogspot.com/.  The postings are designed to stimulate discussion amongst professionals in the world of Learning and Development and human Resources.  Here it is:

Sometimes, it takes personal experience to bring home the challenges that we face in society at large.  So it is that, in recent months, a number of personal experiences have brought home to me the plight of young people in our current times.
About 18 months ago a young friend, newly graduated, took up a teaching job in China.  He is one of a generation of young people who are at a loss to find suitable work despite doing everything they were told to do (“work hard, get a good education”) to succeed.  His experience was reinforced more recently when I spoke to a family friend, mother of two graduates – one of whom has subsequently trained as a barrister – who have both been unemployed for three years since leaving education.  Even the local supermarkets have said no to employing them because they are “over-qualified” for the jobs available.
And yes, last years’ riots (which I mentioned in my December posting) also brought home the challenges young people face.  I wrote on the day of the riots about an encounter with two young people who were lingering outside my front door after the rioters had left.  I asked them if they’d been involved:
“No, not us, we’re good boys.  We’re just covering up our faces because we don’t want to risk losing our jobs if we’re seen.  But they” – pointing to the police – “they’ve got to understand that if they keep taking our jobs away, we’re going to do something – they’ve got to understand”.
I look back on my own formative years and realise how much I have to be grateful for.  From a young age I had opportunities to earn money.  I contributed half the cost of my first trip abroad (aged 14) from those earnings, which came from babysitting, from selling mushrooms which I picked on my parents’ farm before going to school, and from other work I did around the farm.
Later, aged 16 or so, I had a Saturday job at a department store some ten miles away, catching the bus to and from work.  During my university years I spent holidays working at an old peoples’ home as Deputy Manager (something that, in retrospect, I can hardly believe) and, one year, doing the grape harvest in France.  I was an au pair in Austria before I started my degree course and taught English in a French school for a year as part of my degree.  In Austria I also taught English to one of my neighbour’s children.  In France I tutored the son of an English family due to return to the UK as he prepared to take GCSEs.
From an early age there was unpaid work, too – what often get called “chores”.  At home these included such things as laying the table and washing up after meals.  In my last year at school I undertook to turn on the oven that warmed the plates for lunch at the beginning of each school day.  At secondary school the prefects system conferred responsibility.  By the time I left home I had at least some awareness of what it takes to manage my finances and to maintain a home.  I’ve often thought of myself as particularly naive about the world of work during my formative years – I know now of many career paths which I could have taken then and of which I was just not aware at the time.  Still, by the time I left full-time education I had experienced a variety of work.
Of course, the world has moved on since my childhood.  And still, I wonder what messages we need to take from these experiences that might still apply today.  Here are my first thoughts:
  • I see a need for humility amongst the adults whose responsibility it is to contribute to children and young adults as they prepare for adult life and the world of work.  The world today is different from the world we grew up in and tomorrow’s world will be different again.  Imagining we know the answers for our children may go some way towards assuaging our fears and still, in the end, our role is to help young people find their own way in this ever-changing world;
  • We all have a desire – a need, even – to contribute to others.  Letting children play a role in the house from an early age supports them in meeting this need, builds self esteem and prepares them for their life as independent adults;
  • Success in adult life takes many forms, not all of which depend on our exam results.  Introducing children to both paid and unpaid work from an early age supports them in meeting immediate needs, in developing skills of living and in exploring possible avenues for a future career;
  • In a world in which not everyone can find a job at all times, we – the adults – need to remember that, with or without a job, we are all, fundamentally, OK.

Are you ready to have other people happily help you grow your business?

All articles, Alternative approaches

It’s not often I do it and still… today I’m sending out details to my network of an event I’ll be attending on 29th March, when Jason Stein of Heart of Business will be offering a workshop for small business owners under the banner: 

Are you ready to have other people happily help you grow your business? 

Jason has ten years experience as a certified nonviolent communication trainer in the States and has a passion for business. I know him via Heart of Business. 

If you’re interested to learn more, take a look by clicking here. You’ll find details of the course and also an interview with Jason which may be of interest whether or not you’re interested in attending the event. 

Especially if you’re finding it hard to make the contribution you want to make in the world and to achieve the level of income you yearn for to meet your needs comfortably, Jason is someone you might like to know about.


Oh!  And whether you’re interested or not get this:  I’m sharing details of Jason’s workshop because of requests he made of his network in recent weeks.  The first was a no-pressure, how-would-you-like-to-help request he made when he was first thinking of planning his trip.  Way to go, Jason!

The new rules for getting a job

Developing as a leader

Just how much are the rules of job-hunting changing?  I see great variety of ways in which people are setting about getting a new job.  The one thing I know for sure is that this is a hot topic for discussion.

The Harvard Business Review knows this, too.  They’re running a whole series of postings on the subject this month – just follow this link.

I’m smiling, recognising the diversity of my clients’ strategies for moving through their career.  I don’t believe there is one single “right way” to manage your career path and still, I hope there are right ways for you.