Every now and again life’s well-laid plans suddenly seem inappropriate and a new plan – radically different from the old one – seems appropriate. This could be your plan for the week, month or year. At mid-life it could be your plan for the whole of your life. Sometimes, the invitation beckons and you get to choose – do I sign up for the big change or do I stick with the old plan? Part of signing up to the new plan is acting in faith. Often signing up to the new plan involves embracing uncertainty.

This has been my own experience at the start to 2010, when a few chance conversations have set me off in new directions. One of these has been to bring forward my plans for embarking on the journey towards applying for my accreditation as a Professionally Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation. The second has been my decision to sign up with Kathy Mallary to her programme for coaches (see http://www.spiritspring.com/2010-empowerment-program), a chance to step back from the day to day running of my business and to take a fresh look at my sales and marketing. Other plans have been put on hold.

Kathy’s programme is framed by her passion for ‘playing to win’. By chance, one friend recently described the midlife crisis as ‘playing to win (whilst weeping)’. Another colleague recently described how, at midlife, a window opens up – a time in which the healing of old wounds is possible – and later closes down. If our inner work is not done during this period, the opportunity may be lost.

Whether at mid-life or not, I enjoyed Kathy’s description – as part of her information about the programme she is offering – of playing to win. I reproduce it here, with her permission:

When you’re playing to win:

• You’re centered and clear;
• You’re feeling confident, resilient and empowered;
• You’re in the flow; life is happening for you rather than to you;
• It’s easier to have faith;
• You have more freedom;
• Your capacity for abundance, success and joy is expanding;
• Your relationships are more harmonious;
• You’re using your values to help you make important decisions;
• You’re inspiring others around you to play to win;
• You’re having fun!

You know you’re playing to lose when:

• You hold back and play it safe;
• You’re afraid to let go of control;
• You hide your feelings;
• You worry that there’s not enough (money or time – or whatever);
• You feel defensive, resentful or resigned;
• You don’t keep your agreements;
• You put things off until later;
• You get hung up on perfectionism;
• You feel overwhelmed or trapped;
• You think you need to avoid, deflect or prevent something.

And lest you, dear reader, are ‘hung up on perfectionism’ as you read this, I’d like to add that playing to win is a matter of degree. So whilst you not be all the way there yet, each small step you take has the potential to bring you closer to playing to win.