If you listen to Radio 4 in the morning, one of the questions you will commonly hear is “Who’s to blame?” I confess, my heart sinks when I hear this question. I have such a yearning for a life without blame.
It’s possible that this question is common in your life, too. If you have children it may be a daily discussion. Perhaps you take the view that when a fight break’s out there’s someone to blame. Perhaps your children want to prove themselves blameless by blaming each other. In business, too, the same question is often lurking in the environs of a problem or issue. In many organisations, the idea that some is to blame is woven into the very fabric – the culture – of the organisation.
The way we view a problem or issue has a significant effect on the way we experience it. We experience the difference: in the way we view things, in the way we feel (our emotions, our bodily responses), in the stories we tell ourselves. Neurolinguistic programming (NLP) has captured this difference in the problem and the outcome frame. As you read this posting, you can test this difference by taking a problem or issue, applying the questions below and noticing your responses.
What sort of questions do we ask when we are thinking of an issue as a problem?
- What’s the problem?
- Why is it such a problem?
- What are the implications of not solving it?
- Why haven’t you solved it yet?
- Who’s to blame for the problem?
- Why are they to blame?
- What do you want?
- How will you know when you’ve got what you want?
- What will be the best thing about getting what you want?
- What other benefits will it bring?
- What resources do you already have to help you achieve your desired outcome(s)?
- What is your next step?
Again, I invite you to take a moment to notice the effect on you of viewing an issue through the lens of these questions. I also invite you to notice, which set of questions (or style of questioning) is more familiar to you? This will vary from person to person.