Monday, 25th October 2010. We didn’t set out to do it this way when we scheduled our last appointment and still, later, my coach, Lynne Fairchild, realises this date is exactly five years from the day we first spoke.
During those five years, Lynne and I have spoken three times a month and our coaching has covered every area of my life. Since I started running my own business in 2002 and started working with Lynne in 2005 she has been a significant source of support for me as I explore what it means to own and run a business – and to have a life in which work and non-work are in some kind of balance.
This year I have chosen to work with Kathy Mallary, who specialises in helping coaches to market their businesses, and this has provided an impetus to draw my work with Lynne to a close. I am full of gratitude as I think of the work we have done together. During this time, I have become increasingly self assured, understanding my aims and values and taking steps torwards leading an ever more authentic life. I have also discovered just how much I enjoy working in a committed coaching relationship and this has served me well with my clients, too: a number of clients have worked with me over time and I look forward to more and more such relationships.
As an aside, Lynne and I have not (yet) met face to face because of the geographical distance between us. I am based in London and Lynne is based in the US. I hear eminent coaches in the UK talk about how coaching is most effective when it’s carried out face to face and I wonder – I confess – if consciously or unconsciously they say this to protect their businesses from the exchange rates which – when it comes to telephone coaching – favour coaches abroad. In our final (“completion”) session Lynne gives recognition to my willingness to go deep in our work together and without holding back. It seems to me that working by phone has supported this depth rather than detracted from it.
What do you say when you say goodbye after five years of working together? In truth, after five years of working together much of what needs to be said has been said already. We have acknowledged each other so many times. We know that our deep mutual regard will outlive our coaching relationship. We know that the completion of our coaching is the beginning of our post-coaching relationship. I know that I feel confident – no, glad – to continue to refer people to Lynne.
In the run up to our completion I think of our work as like planting a tree. I know that the tree is planted and has taken firm roots. I know that there are things outside of our work together that have contributed to the well-being of this metaphorical tree. I know it will continue to grow long after our work is completed. And for this I am, quite simply, deeply grateful.