The ability to step back and observe ourselves is one that is highlighted by a variety of thinkers. Eckhart Tolle, for example, in his book A New Earth, highlights this ability as one which enables us to go beyond ego to connect with our authentic self. It is this ability that enables leaders to develop self mastery and the ability to act for the greater good.
Often the most significant outcome from coaching is the development of this inner observer. I am grateful to John Woodford, my client at MunichRe, for sharing this testimonial to coaching and to the inner observer:
What did I learn from our coaching? Working in partnership with Dorothy helped me to recognise my habitual behaviours and to become more self-aware: are they the behaviours I want to take forward? Our coaching helped me to develop a greater understanding of the impact I have on those around me and to develop greater empathy and understanding – for myself and others.
Perhaps the greatest learning for me has been to learn to stand outside of myself and look at me. Learning to observe myself in this way has given me new information which I can use to choose my responses and to get better outcomes. This is helping me to be more effective in managing my relationships with others and opening up new possibilities – perhaps to speak publicly, to build my profile, to be more confident and to have more gravitas.
What have been the benefits from coaching? My learning has had great application around the office. Recently, for example, I met someone for the first time. When I found their behaviour very strange, I become curious rather than reacting immediately. Coaching has helped me in managing people, hearing, listening and questioning and also in developing these skills in my staff so the whole team is getting better at understanding what people want. As a service organisation this has value.
What – and how – did Dorothy contribute? Dorothy asked lots of questions which were really tough and made me think very hard. She listened to my answers and followed up with a very sharp and targeted question. Sometimes the questions were much broader and these were the tough ones. If you like, she made me think and opened my mind – this switched on a light for me.
She was also very warm and made me feel very much at ease. She was a good listener and I valued her empathy. She was also very flexible. Our sessions were held at a time and a place that were convenient to me and the duration was just right – I never felt under pressure to cut our sessions short. After a while our fortnightly sessions turned into monthly sessions, evolving naturally into something that met the need.
Would I work with Dorothy again? I felt I got to a point where I had got the best value. Still I have lots to learn and will take it up in the future when I am ready for the next phase.