Category Archives: Developing as a leader

When Fish Fly

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I am ‘in haste’ this afternoon. It’s not just that I’m away next week. In addition, I shall be leaving for Rugby in about half an hour, where I shall be leading two masterclasses in leadership tomorrow.

As I pack I listen to Kevin Gray reading When Fish Fly: Lessons for Creating a Vital and Energised Workplace. This is essentially John Yokoyama’s story of how he turned his failing Seattle fish stall into the World Famous Pike Place Fish Market. When Fish Fly is one of the resources I have recommended for the leaders with whom I shall be working tomorrow. With only ninety minutes per session, I am confident that participants are likely to go away with as many questions as answers and I want to provide some options for them for further exploration.

My listening helps me to engage ahead of time with the ground I want to cover. It is full of stories that inspire me. It reminds me of what it takes to lead one’s life from a place of choosing as much as it does of what it takes to lead and engage others. And of course, there are no surprises here – isn’t it true that leadership, like charity, begins at home?

In addition, participants have returned preparatory questionnaires and I am looking forward to reading them in the quiet seclusion of my hotel room this evening. This will help me to connect ahead of time with members of the group.

As I complete my posting I give thanks that I am able to earn my living in this way.

Speaking generally

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Taking a walk at lunchtime, I find myself reflecting on two messages which have landed in my in-tray during the course of the day. One message asks how I am faring at this unquestionably terrible time. Another points me to the opportunities that are open to us all at this time of recession. One thing is clear: whichever way you look at it, the generalisation is alive and well.

I am reminded of the body of work which has become known as Neuro-linguistic Programming or NLP. My first glimpse in the direction of NLP – though I didn’t know it at the time – came in 1983 when I took a paper in linguistics as part of my degree and grappled with the theories of Noam Chomsky. Dr John Grinder was also a student of Chomsky’s work, studying Chomsky’s theories of transformational grammar in the early 1970s. This was about the time he was approached by under-graduate student Richard Bandler who asked Grinder to join him in modelling the various cognitive behavioral patterns of three leading therapists in the field of Gestalt. Eventually, this work became the basis of the methodology that became the foundation of Neuro-linguistic Programming.

Bandler and Grinder created something they called the Meta-Model to examine the way we structure language to describe our model of the world. Historically, the Meta-Model provided the first publicly available NLP interventions and Richard Bandler described the Meta-Model as “the engine that drives NLP”. Bandler and Grinder proposed three primary processes by we translate experience into language: deletion, generalisation and distortion. If Bandler and Grinder are correct, the process of noticing patterns in our experience and forming generalisations provides the basis for forming a set of rules or principles by which we go on to operate. These rules help us to simplify our understanding and to make predictions. They also guide our choices and behaviours.

So much for the (brief) history lesson. Of what interest is this model during our current times? It seems to me that to view the current economic climate as one of unremitting gloom is to invite outcomes which may not serve us. Our mood may quickly come to reflect our belief and this may be an unpleasant experience in its own right. What’s more, by forming the view that we are all in the same (terrible) boat we may miss out on a variety of opportunities – to take positive action, for example, or to connect with the people around us.

A generalisation which creates a world of opportunity may also have its drawbacks. How can we be sensitive, for example, to those people whose livelihoods are in danger (or who, at least, fear their livelihoods are in danger) when all we can see is a world of opportunity? And if opportunities are everywhere, how can we begin to tease out and discern the real opportunities that face us and our businesses? Perhaps the key here is to recognise that, whether or not we choose to generalise, and whether we choose to generalise a gloomy or a positive world, we do choose.

I think of my work as a coach which helps the people – often leaders – with whom I work to become aware of the choices they are making and to make choices which serve their aims and intentions. It seems to me that the work of helping clients consciously to choose has its time in the “hard times” every bit as much as in the “good times”. And of course, as a coach, I recognise my own responsibility to monitor my own choices at this time. It seems to me that, no matter what, nobody wants to work with a coach who feels defeated by current events.

Creating the climate for success

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Amongst my e-mails today is one from Gina Lawrie and Bridget Belgrave. Gina and Bridget are amongst the foremost trainers in the UK in the field of nonviolent communication, an approach that is dear to my heart. As well as sharing their training programme (which you can find at http://www.NvcDanceFloors.com) they share a quote by Carl Rogers, from his book A Way of Being:

“My experience has shown that another paradigm is far more effective and constructive for the individual and for society. It is that, given a suitable psychological climate, humankind is trustworthy, creative, self-motivated, powerful, and constructive – capable of releasing undreamed-of potentialities.”

Carl Rogers has been a significant influence in 20th Century thinking and his work continues to guide professional coaches as well as his fellow therapists. Surely this is also the paradigm that Douglas McGregor outlines as “Theory Y” in his seminal book, The Human Side of Enterprise.

I take a moment to reflect on this quote and to celebrate my work as a coach, which is my way of supporting individual leaders in creating a psychological climate – for themselves as well as for those they lead – that supports the powerful, constructive and purposeful use of our abundant creativity. I feel so blessed in this work, in its contribution to those with whom I work, to the businesses they work in and to the wider world.

What is an “alternative approach”?

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Some time ago, I wrote about an experience I had – a session of Emotional Freedom Technique. This was something I hadn’t heard about until my friend Alex started to study it. I chose a new keyword for this posting – Alternative Approaches – and even as I chose the keyword I recognised that this heading begs the simple question: what is an alternative approach? Today, sitting in the lounge at Heathrow Airport, I am taking some time to respond to this question. I offer no prior research – simply an opinion.

As I understand it, the word “alternative” when applied to all sorts of approaches, is used as an alternative to “mainstream”. The primary issue here seems to be one of acceptance: is an approach accepted. This in turn begs the question: who by? I think of questions of power – would it be true to say that mainstream approaches are those approaches which are recognised by those sections of society which are most powerful? However, the question of what constitutes power is a subtle one. Instead, I opt to describe the mainstream as a tide of culture which is in some way recognised and endorsed.

It’s easy, when discussing alternative and mainstream approaches, to jump to the conclusion that those approaches which are seen as mainstream are those which scientists have tested and endorsed. There is much to discuss here and much to dispute. In the field of leadership in which I work, one approach that has passed into the mainstream via academic research is the use of competencies to identify those characteristics which differentiate the most outstanding leaders. Whilst this approach is largely taken for granted now, it was originally an alternative to the prevailing idea that testing for IQ (intelligence quota) was the best way to recruit for leadership potential. It was the research of David McClelland and his colleagues which showed this widely accepted (“mainstream”) approach to be based on assumptions which were, in fact, inaccurate. Because of McClelland’s research, testing for competencies, still an alternative approach 30 years ago, has gradually become mainstream.

At the same time, scientists can be blind to evidence when it does not fit prior theories or when they struggle to explain it. Fresh from participating in a training in Transcendental Meditation (TM) I am struck by an anecdote which I had heard prior to attending the training and which I heard again whilst I was there. Some years ago, a large group of meditators spent some time meditating in Washington D.C. with the express aim of reducing crime rates. The Chief of Police was highly sceptical, predicting that it would take six feet of snow to have this effect. Still, the scientists who had been lined up to study the data had to concede that yes, crime rates did go down. A paper was written but only published some time after the event in a peer-reviewed journal, accompanied by a rather apologetic addendum. The research that supports the use of Transcendental Meditation to achieve all sorts of positive outcomes is now extensive. Has it (as yet) become a mainstream approach? No.

In what sense then, do I use the term “alternative approach” on this blog? I aim to use it entirely without prejudice, recognising the many and varied approaches that can make a difference in people’s lives. Perhaps an underlying belief that I hold, which may mark me out from the mainstream, is that far more is possible than we often imagine. The myriad of approaches available to us serve to highlight – should we choose to be aware – just what possibilities exist. In this sense, an alternative approach is simply an option and every approach to which I gave airtime on this blog is an option – an alternative approach.

Coaching presuppositions 5: Trying on a presupposition for a day

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In recent weeks, I have been taking time on my blog to explore what it takes to develop a coaching mindset. Having offered some of the presuppositions that can support leaders in developing a coaching style of leadership I went on to offer some exercises for building awareness – of our own presuppositions, of the presuppositions of others.

Today, I offer an exercise to support readers in developing new presuppositions. The exercise is very simple – to “try on” a new presupposition for a day. This could be a presupposition from my October 2008 postings. This could be a presupposition of your own choosing – one that tests you in some way. In times of challenge for example, how about presupposing that your experience is especially designed for your learning, growth and future success?

Choose a presupposition that you’d like to try on for a day. Assuming that your chosen presupposition is true, notice what different thoughts you have and what different actions you take – and with what different outcomes. Take time at the end of the day to reflect on your experiences. Take time with your study partner (if you have one) to explore your experiences and to notice what learning they offer.

Sending my hope and prayers to the USA

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At a time of great economic difficulty in the US I am increasingly noticing comments that the US of A’s time of global supremacy is coming to an end. With tomorrow’s US election already underway I find myself reflecting on the leader I yearn for as US President at this time. (And of course, I recognise how much I yearn for the same kind of leadership around the world).

I think of a leader whose approach springs from a deeply rooted yearning to contribute to the creation of a world in which everyone can thrive. It is not enough for any one nation to look after its own (even less to look after only some of its own). It is time for us all to commit to creating a thriving, sustainable world.

I think of a leader who is ready to engage deeply with colleagues around the world rather than to seek to dominate, because it’s my belief that the best outcomes for all come when we are able to hear and understand each other at a deep level. I celebrate those leaders (Martin Luther King, Mandela, Gandhi and others) who have shown us what it takes to exercise a different kind of power.

I think of a leader who does not confuse the outcomes he aspires to with the strategies that might lead to those outcomes. I believe that such a leader will ask: what outcomes do we want from a healthy economy? And, recognising those outcomes, will look for ways to deliver those outcomes which serve us all – no matter what state our economy is in.

The polls give Barack Obama a decisive lead over John McCain. What’s more, I hear those people who invest in the futures markets are giving Barack Obama a whopping 90% chance of succeeding at tomorrow’s polls. I hope and pray that Barack Obama is this kind of leader. I hope and pray that he wins. I hope and pray that he is able to provide this kind of leadership to America and to the world.

And when I think that Barack Obama may be America’s first black president, I feel deeply moved. I especially hope for the success in post of such a man.

Coaching presuppositions: are you playing ‘angels and devils’?

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Recently, I wrote about the coaching presupposition that we are all creative, resourceful and whole. Professional coaches who work to the definition of coaching and who follow the ethical codes of the International Coach Federation agree to hold their clients as creative, resourceful and whole. Leaders who adopt a coaching style also work from this belief.

But what happens when we hold this belief about some people and we don’t hold this belief about others? This is an approach I call ‘angels and devils’. One sign that we might be playing ‘angels and devils’ is when we view the same behaviour differently on the part of two different people. One example of this was the manager whose assessments of his staff seemed to vary depending on how much he liked them. When his top salesman submitted his figures late on a regular basis it was always the manager’s view that this was OK because he was doing so well. The manager was also forgiving of behaviours which were out of line with the team’s agreed values. However, the manager was quick to criticise other team members for the same behaviours, making it clear they were unacceptable.

This approach tended to stimulate criticism of the manager by staff and prompted capable members of the team to look for jobs elsewhere. As a coach, this manager failed to address behaviours in his star players which he would readily discuss with those he didn’t rate. At the same time, this second group did not value his attempts to ‘coach’ them, believing that his coaching was rooted in a distorted view of them.

My question to you today is, are you playing ‘angels and devils’? And with what outcomes? I invite you to reflect on the following questions:

  • What view do you take of different members of your team? To what extent are you able to hold each member of your team as creative, resourceful and whole?
  • What conclusions have you reached about members of your team based on their performance? What other factors affect the extent to which you are able to hold your team members as creative, resourceful and whole?
  • With what level of ease are you able to hold each member of your team as creative, resourceful and whole?

If you are working with a study partner, take time to share your answers with your study partner. You might find it especially valuable to compare your views of staff at different ends of the spectrum. For what reasons are you able easily to hold some of your staff as creative, resourceful and whole? And, thinking of those members of staff you find it hard to hold as creative, resourceful and whole, what would it take for you to hold this presupposition? What would be different in your relationships with your staff if you were able to hold each and every one as creative, resourceful and whole?

Coaching presuppositions: an exercise in self awareness

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Yesterday, I offered an exercise to help you raise your awareness of our presuppositions and how they inform behaviours. Today, I invite you to use the same exercise to bring to conscious awareness the presuppositions you hold: this is an exercise in observing yourself.

Like yesterday’s exercise, this brief exercise can be carried out at the end of the day – perhaps for a few minutes of quiet time in your office or as you travel home. Notice two or three key conversations you have had during the course of the day. If possible choose a variety of conversations with different people. Review each conversation in turn and ask yourself:

  • What did each one of us say and do during each conversation?
  • What did the things I said and did presuppose? On what basis do I hold these presuppositions to be true?
  • What was the impact of these presuppositions both during our conversation and on the outcomes from our conversation?

If you are working with a study partner, take time to share your answers to these questions with your study partner. Ask your study partner to notice what presuppositions are implied by your input into each conversation. Notice where your study partner has reached the same conclusions as you and where your conclusions differ. Take time to explore the differences – what do they tell you about your presuppositions of which you were not already aware?

Repeating this exercise over a number of consecutive days can raise your awareness of the presuppositions you bring to your conversations and of the impact they have on the outcomes that accrue from your conversations.

Coaching presuppositions: an exercise in raising awareness

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If you’ve been reading my postings in recent days, you may be wondering what you can do to become more aware of presuppositions and how they inform our behaviours. I thought I’d take a moment to offer an exercise to help you – with more to come over the coming days.

This exercise is a brief exercise which can be carried out at the end of the day – perhaps as you travel home or for a few minutes of quiet time in your office. It is an exercise in observation – and this in turn can be an exercise in bringing into conscious awareness those things of which you are already aware at some unconscious level. You can take 5 minutes or 50 as follows.

Notice two or three key conversations you have had during the course of the day. If possible choose a variety of conversations with different people. Review each conversation in turn and ask yourself:

  • What did each one of us say and do during that conversation?
  • What did our words and actions presuppose? How do I know?
  • What was the impact of our presuppositions both during our conversation and on the outcomes from our conversation?

If you can, notice the difference between those conversations you view as successful and those conversations you view as unsuccessful.

It can also add to the richness of this exercise if you work with a study partner. If your study partner took part in the same meetings and conversations as you, take time together to ask these questions. If you work in different areas, take time to review one conversation each. In this latter case, when you are observing the observer, notice any presuppositions your study partner may be making as they review their conversation. What do you notice that perhaps your study partner doesn’t?

Repeating this exercise over a number of consecutive days can raise your awareness of the role that presuppositions play in our conversations and of the presuppositions that you and others hold. Over time, you are likely to notice the presuppositions that prevail in your work culture.

Coaching presuppositions 4: Every behaviour has a positive intention

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As I write I am reflecting on the various work environments I have encountered during my life to date. These include environments in which I have been an employee and environments in which I have been a trainer, consultants and coach. They include environments in which I have been a leader and environments in which I have been a member of a team. They include environments in which I have been a volunteer – an unpaid contributor – as well as environments in which I earn my living. What has characterised those environments in which I have felt most free to give of my best? I especially think of those environments, as I ponder this question, in which the prevailing belief has been that, no matter what people do, they do so with a positive intention.

Perhaps it helps to reflect for a moment on those cultures in which this belief is not held. In these environments, the question “why did he do that?” may well be asked. And still, this question does not always imply a desire to understand. Indeed the question may well be discussed around the business without any direct conversation taking place with the individual concerned – without an honest sharing of experience. In this culture people talk about each other but not with each other.

I think with gladness of those environments in which the general assumption is that, no matter how we experience others’ behaviours, every behaviour has a positive intention. I have experienced these as environments in which people look for the good in those they work with, acknowledging their colleagues and everything they bring. I have experienced these as environments in which people take responsibility for their needs, talking with colleagues, giving direct feedback and making clear requests when they would like something to change. It’s not that requests are always granted. And still, I have observed how interacting in this way builds trust and understanding. And I notice that I have had much more fun in these environments even whilst achieving results.

How, then, does this connect with coaching? In what sense is this a valuable presupposition for a coach to adopt? As a starting point for exploring the many outcomes that come from holding this presupposition, I would suggest that, by holding this presupposition about the person (s)he coaches, the coach invites the person seeking coaching to a better understanding of himself. For when we understand the needs we try to meet by our behaviours – including behaviours we may ourselves find frustrating – we open up new options which better meet those needs. This is especially important when we experience inner conflict – for how can we satisfy apparently opposing needs when we don’t know what they are?

Just as understanding their different needs helps those we coach to find new ways to meet those needs, understanding the needs of others with whom they work can help them to find different strategies for communicating with their colleagues. In this way, coaching from the presupposition that every behaviour has a positive intention can be a way of helping those we coach to focus on those areas in which they can take action and to identify those actions they want to take. I would add that, as with other presuppositions, our own integrity in holding this presupposition sets a powerful example to those we coach.

How, then, can you identify the presuppositions you hold or to take action to develop new ones? Keep reading. In the coming days, I’ll be offering some exercises for you in response to these questions.