Category Archives: Coaching

Linking my blog to LinkedIn

Coaching

Now, I am slowly learning a few things about LinkedIn.

Firstly, I am paying attention to the regular status updates that reach me – not too often to be annoying! It’s been a real pleasure to send congratulations to friends and colleagues for their new jobs.

Recently I noticed that one of my clients posts his reading on LinkedIn. As an avid reader, I’ve started to do that, too.

Then I noticed that LinkedIn have introduced a new possibility for adding my blog. What I didn’t realise to begin with is that my blog postings automatically appear as my “status update”. This means they’re visible to anyone who looks at my profile. And I’m guessing they’re also visible to anyone who gets those regular status updates in their in-tray.

Yesterday it was really cool to get an e-mail which started: “I saw your blog posting via your status update on LinkedIn and I thought I’d just…”

I notice I’m starting to “get” the value of LinkedIn and to build my contacts up. Currently, I’m connected to 91 people. And since I’m now proactively sending out invitations this is building over time – something for me to pay attention when I have a few minutes to spare.

Coaching and the Paradoxical Theory of Change

Coaching,

Just as I pause to ask myself the question “what next?” an e-mail lands in my in-tray from fellow coach and writer Len Williamson about Arnold Beisser’s Paradoxical Theory of Change. Len offers a brief description of the theory and explores the implications for coaching.

Beisser was a contributor in the field of Gestalt and this is amply reflected in his theory. Still, with or without any exposure to or understanding of Gestalt, it strikes me that Beisser’s theory has the ring of truth. With Len’s permission I offer his brief description here:

Arnold Beisser wrote an article in 1970 entitled ‘The Paradoxical Theory of Change’. In it he stated ‘that change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not’. It is paradoxical in the sense that a person can change and start to become something he is not only when he truly knows what he is. It is a lynchpin of the Gestalt approach and one of the clearest descriptions of an idea originally set out by Fritz Perls.

I will here reflect on what this means in a coaching relationship and invite you to add your own thoughts. An individual who seeks coaching will often state their requirement as a need to change for some reason. It could be to work better with colleagues, gain a promotion or take a new direction in what they do. The role of the coach is to help the individual achieve the change he wants. The Paradoxical Theory of Change tells us that the most powerful way to do this is to help him describe exactly where he is now. By doing so the client gains insight and understanding about the attributes and characteristics he currently exhibits and begins to see how these might get in the way of the change he wants.

In many Gestalt coaching sessions a client will begin to realise that many of the obstacles to the progress he wants are present within who and what he is at that moment. When this occurs it is a great and helpful discovery as the client can be shown that he has control over changing things that are going on inside him. In fact he has much more control over this than he has over the often originally perceived idea that it is something or someone else that is getting in the way.

The other aspect of interest in this theory is the constant flipping of the client between a state he ‘should’ be in and the state he ‘is’ in. Invariably the client is in neither state but hangs somewhere in between. Making the shift to a clear description of what ‘is’ will give the client a powerful grounding from which he can then consider changing.

Finally it is noticeable that the ‘problem’ or ‘need for change’ cited by the client up front is often not the most important thing to fix for the growth and development of the client. It is always related to where the client actually is in that moment. The role of the coach is to help him describe this in as much rich detail as is possible.

Len asks for thoughts and I notice I recognise a great deal of what he says both as a client of coaching (and other approaches) and as a coach. Maybe my thought of thoughts – simple as it is – is that many approaches are in search of the same truths.

I notice that this in turn raises a question for me – how come we find it so hard to stay with these truths, even though they’re there to be had?

When the time is right to offer coaching supervision

Coaching

Discussing decision-making strategies with my clients has, over time, brought my own strategies sharply into focus. Over time I’ve learnt that I make some of my best decisions at the time when they just feel right. It’s not that these decisions are rooted in feeling alone. Rather, this “feels right” moment is often the time when, after much thought, all objections have been satisfied and it’s time to go ahead.

In recent weeks I’ve been a little surprised as one decision starts to feel right. This is the decision to train as a coaching supervisor and to start proactively to offer coaching supervision. It’s not that I didn’t see it coming – even when I embarked on my professional coach training I anticipated that this might be on my forward path. Rather, I didn’t see it coming quite so soon.

By the time I reach the decision the surprise has started to give way to a wry recognition. Wasn’t it always true (well before I became a coach) that people sought me out for mentoring and supervision? This was the kind of role I attracted as a consultant on projects or informally at the request of colleagues. And isn’t it true that such roles continue to seek me out – to tap me on the shoulder – now that I am a coach? It’s the recognition of all sorts of invitations – to act as mentor to coaching colleagues or as lead coach on projects, for example – that bring a dawning realisation that I was always ready to supervise and others were equally ready for me.

What is coaching supervision? Of course, this is something I have decided to explore. For now, though, I see it as a process whereby a coach (or coaches) take time away from coaching to reflect on his or her work and to further his or her development as a coach. As such, the coach’s decision to invest in regular coaching supervision offers some reassurance for the client. As I write I think of the lone practitioner coach, of coaches working in house, of coaches working in teams, of “manager coaches”… and I look forward to working with them all.

Today I have my interview with Colin Brett as part of the process of agreeing to train in coaching supervision with Coaching Development. The interview, by telephone, is both thought-provoking and comfortable. It is not so much a harsh test of my readiness to supervise as a gentle exploration of what lies ahead and how I might prepare. And as we talk I become aware of new layers of emotion that reinforce my decision. For it’s one thing to be quietly aware of my decision and another thing entirely to share it. And as I share it, and let the emotion rise – share it even – I become aware of just how much my decision is a coming home.

I look forward to my training in 2010.

Coaching: the best kind of labour of love

Coaching,

It’s the end of a busy week. I have been coaching, as ever. I am in the midst of preparing an assessment report. I have just returned to the office, ready to go through a number of e-mails that have reached me before I sign off at the end of the working week and sign onto the weekend.

This week has also been a week of “chemistry meetings”. This is the process by which a person seeking coaching and their potential coach(es) meet to establish whether or not they are well matched to work together. Typical questions that are on the table during these meetings are “what areas do you want to address through coaching?” “what outcomes would you like from your coaching?” and “what would you like from your coach?” As well as testing whether or not coach and person seeking coaching are well matched, these meetings can help the person seeking coaching to deepen his or her understanding of what he or she is looking for.

Whilst it’s often the coach’s role to hold up a mirror to a client and invite self reflection, in one meeting it’s my turn. The person with whom I’m meeting – potentially my coaching client – tells me that she has the sense that I really enjoy coaching and highlights the passion with which I speak about it.

Even as she asks the question I feel a physical response as tears rise. The truth is, I still find it amazing that I am paid – and handsomely – to do something I love so much.

The gratitude I feel lingers with me as the weekend approaches.

Setting up a coaching group – the essential standards

Coaching

Today I’m looking forward to meeting my dear friend and colleague Rosie Miller for a late afternoon “cuppa”. Executive Coaching is at the heart of Rosie’s business as it is of mine and we like to keep abreast of each other’s businesses and to provide support.

In recent weeks we have been exploring the possibility of setting up a coaching group – the Best Year Yet coaching group. We’ve had a variety of expressions of interest but not enough to meet our core criteria for setting up a group – 6 to 8 people who are committed and enthusiastic to join. Last week we looked at the responses we had so far and decided that rather than invest more effort in seeking to attract participants we would let people know we are not going to go ahead. It’s our view that if it proves effortful to set a group up then perhaps that group is not meant to be.

For my part, I feel a sense of joy at taking the decision and I hope this came across in my e-mail to those who had expressed an interest. It’s not that I’m not disappointed – it would have been great to go ahead. And still, I wanted to act on my convictions and I celebrate the decision to hold back from pushing for something that isn’t meant to happen – at least, not yet. I am also grateful to everyone who took part in our discussions, whatever decision (or indecision) they ultimately made. I’ve taken so much learning from the experience and I look forward to carrying it forward.

No doubt Rosie and I shall be reflecting on this experience when we meet this afternoon.

Evaluating coaching: a formative affair

Coaching

In the lingo of education, I view the evaluation of coaching as a formative (rather than a summative) affair. In other words, when you start to explore outcomes from coaching you are likely to have an impact on the outcomes from coaching. I’m sure scientists have had plenty of opportunity to notice how the act of observing something has an impact on the thing being observed. Today I reflect on this as I respond to a query about evaluating coaching:

We are an organisation that has recently embarked on using coaching as a development tool for our senior managers. As you would imagine we would like to evaluate the effectiveness of the coaching and are looking for any resources that will help us do so. Your experience of what works will also be really useful.

I take a few minutes to share my thoughts and decide to share them here. Broadly speaking, I use three (sometimes four) complimentary processes:

  • The first is the process whereby I contract with the commissioning client where there is one (i.e. the manager commissioning coaching for one of the people he or she manages) and the person seeking coaching (or coachee). At the outset, I facilitate a three-way meeting with the commissioning client, coachee and me to explore the manager’s reasons for commissioning coaching and any expectations the manager has of the employee. Depending on the length of the contract I will then facilitate three-way meetings on an interim basis and at the end of the process to review progress;
  • The second is the process I use with the coachee. Even when there is a three-way process (above) I also explore with the coachee what he or she wants from coaching and seek to agree clear goals. These can be the same as the goals agreed with the commissioning manager but may be different, e.g. when a manager requires xyz changes from an employee which cause the employee to question whether or not s/he wants to continue in a job. For the manager making the changes may be the goal. First though, the employee may want to get clear on whether to sign up to the goal. I’m sure that many coaches will tell you they include ongoing processes of evaluation in their coaching – asking clients what they are taking from each session, for example, as well as holding review sessions. I typically hold two-way review sessions periodically and prior to three-way review sessions (above). I also include some evaluation of coaching as part of a final “completion” session at the end of a coaching contract;
  • In addition, I also have a reciprocal arrangement with a number of trusted coaching colleagues who conduct an interview on my behalf. I started by using this at the end of coaching contracts and increasingly use it periodically with clients who choose to work with me over extended periods. Originally designed to support my learning and development as a coach, I have found the questionnaire I use for this immensely valuable to my clients who are able to reflect on the outcomes from coaching. Where we are still working together, it helps to re-focus – review goals and ways of working together to increase the effectiveness of our work together. Where the coachee is happy to share, I am always delighted to share this feedback with the commissioning manager;
  • Finally, there is the question of how you evaluate coaching across a team, when the coaching might be seen as a “team” coaching project. I have worked on projects where we have included team discussion – contracting and review.

Whatever the situation, given my conviction that evaluating coaching has an impact on the outcomes from coaching, it’s my aim to design all review processes in ways which facilitate further progress.

Coaching, therapy and the outstanding leader

Coaching, Developing as a leader, ,

Autumn is meeting time for many as people return from holidays and begin to shape an agenda for the year ahead. Coaches are no exception. On the one hand, coaching clients return to coaching after their summer break. On the other hand, commissioning clients often ask to explore what role coaching can play in supporting the corporate agenda.

As I prepare for one such meeting, I am invited to share information in response to a range of questions. How do you work with clients? What are your aims and objectives? What is your coach training, knowledge and background? What arrangements do you have in place for your continuing professional development? What types of coaching intervention do you offer and to whom? How do you measure results? Can you share a typical coaching programme, including details of any questionnaires or tools you might use? Can you share your CV?

As I prepare my responses to these questions, I notice that I pause – only for a moment – before I share information about my personal development. What if I am judged on the basis of sharing this information? Still, I go ahead and write:

Alongside my professional formation I have also invested extensively in my own personal development throughout my career. As well as working with professional coaches I have also chosen at times to invest in therapeutic interventions including cognitive behavioural therapy and the physical therapy known as rolfing. My trainings in NLP and NVC have brought both personal growth and insights which inform my work as a professional coach, consultant and trainer.

I recognise the part of me that fears judgement. It is an old, old fear. I remember a period before I began to invest in my own learning in this way. This was a period in which I yearned to make this investment and yet was so fearful – what if I make this investment only to learn that I really am as flawed as others seem to be telling me I am? This was my greatest fear. This is the fear that still sits behind my fear of being judged by the people I have not yet met and who may become clients.

And yet I know how valuable these experiences have been to me and just how important they are to my work as an Executive Coach. For they give me something that the most effective leaders have in spades – the ability to stand back and observe myself, to notice my thoughts, feelings and emotions, to connect with my motivations in a given moment and to choose to respond to them in ways which serve me and those around me. For how can our leaders respond effectively in a given moment if they lack awareness of the choices they are already making, let alone of the wide range of choices available to them?

There’s more. For I draw on the depth of my own learning and experience when I ask questions of clients and make observations that open up new pathways for them. In the same way, the leader who has a deep self awareness is uniquely placed to coach those he or she leads. Though I am not a therapist, it comes as no surprise to me that some of the most effective coaches have a background as a therapist or experience of therapy as clients.

Perhaps, though, the most fundamental benefit I can offer to my clients based on my own experiences is this. For sometimes clients struggle in their current way of thinking, yearning to make changes and wondering if they will ever find a way to free themselves from the thrall of their habitual ways of thinking. Sometimes clients soar to reach new heights that they could not have believed possible and for which role models are few and wonder if they can make the journey. Sometimes they both struggle and soar. On these occasions I can come to coaching with a confidence that the journey they are setting out to make is possible for them. I can bring compassion for the journey. I can support them as they slow down to take just one step at a time.

For there is nothing to fear in supporting clients in their journey when your own journey has taught you that, yes, you can.

Joseph Campbell and the hero’s journey

Coaching, Developing as a leader, ,

In April 2005 I wrote a brief introduction to the hero’s journey as described by Joseph Campbell, author of The Hero With A Thousand Faces and (with co-author Bill Moyers) The Power of Myth. Of all the articles I have written in my regular newsletter this is the article to which I return most often. Why? Because Campbell’s description of the hero’s journey captures something universal, something about the human experience. And, what’s more, because as a coach, I am often a witness to the first steps people take on their own hero’s journey.

Whether or not people choose to commission coaching or to take some other step, their first contact with me and our early discussions often represent a crossing of a threshold. This threshold will be unique to the individual concerned and often comprises bearing witness to a challenge they face which they have, up until now, chosen to down-play or even ignore. This is the time they say “I recognise this is a problem for which I would like to find a solution” or “I am allowing myself to share the dream which – until now – I have barely dared to voice to myself”.

In our lives we are likely to face many such thresholds, for with the crossing of a threshold a new journey opens up. Just as when we reach the top of one hill we see another before us, so also when we cross a threshold we have already made our first steps towards the next threshold. Of course, we need not cross the threshold that faces us and may choose to stay eternally in one place – be it a physical location or a single mindset or way of being. The consequences of our choices (either way) are captured in Harold Ramis’ witty and compassionate film Groundhog Day.

What are the steps in the hero’s journey? This is how I described them in 1995, drawing on the work of Joseph Campbell and of others such as Robert Dilts in the field of neurolinguistic programming (or NLP):

1. The Call to Adventure: this is the first sign of the hero’s journey and may come in many forms. The hero hears it – and may choose to accept or refuse this calling.

2. Crossing the Threshold: On accepting the calling the hero steps into new territories outside his or her past experience and ‘comfort zone’. In this new arena the hero is forced to grow and to seek assistance on the journey.

3. Finding a Guardian: “When the student is ready, the teacher appears”. Only when the hero has crossed the threshold will the guardian or mentor appear.

4. Facing a Challenge (or ‘demon’): often the demon is within. The hero has to face the challenge or demon in order to progress.

5. Transforming the Demon: By facing his or her demon the hero acquires a resource which is needed to complete the journey.

6. Finding the Way: Building on the work of Campbell, Robert Dilts highlights that Finding the Way to fulfil the calling is achieved by creating a new set of beliefs that incorporates the growth and discoveries brought about by the journey.

7. Returning Home: Finally, the hero completes the journey by Returning Home as a transformed or evolved person.

Coaches in dialogue

Coaching,

Regular readers of my blog know that I am a member of the Training Journal Daily Digest and get many benefits from my participation in this daily discussion forum. Sometimes though, I do feel a little lonely – a coach amongst trainers. I have yet to find a forum for coaches that is as active and informative as the TJDD.

Recently I signed up for a LinkedIn group for coaches set up by the CIPD publication Coaching At Work. As well as giving me the opportunity to dialogue with colleagues this is also helping me to raise my visibility with colleagues in the profession. It’s early days and still, I’d like to think this group could become the coaches’ equivalent of the TJDD.

I’m wondering, what else is out there? I’d love to hear how other coaches. How do you connect with your colleagues in the profession? And how do you maintain dialogue?