Category Archives: Coaching

Being a great leader starts with being yourself

Coaching, Developing as a leader, ,

Recently, I amended the brief description that sits under the heading “about me” at the top of my blog to read:

Being a great leader starts with being yourself. I am a holistic coach to senior leaders. I help men and women in senior leadership positions find and walk their true paths in line with natural laws – what works.

This statement reflects my growing understanding of my niche – those clients with whom I most enjoy working, those clients with whom I do my best work.

Perhaps there’s a paradox that sits underneath this statement.  On the one hand, I have been involved over the years in a great deal of research into what makes for the most outstanding leaders.  This research, which had been reflected by Goleman in his books The New Leaders and Working with Emotional Intelligence suggests that there is a common recipe for all leaders and, within organisations, a variation on this recipe which is distinct for a particular organisation.  A common criticism made of this work is that this suggests the “cookie cutter” leader – and we can all see that leaders vary enormously in their personal style and effectiveness.
 
On the other hand, it’s my view that the path to personal effectiveness – mastery – as a leader is a highly personal path which varies enormously from person to person.  It involves understanding and accepting oneself as well as making adjustments to improve effectiveness.  The changes we make don’t stick unless they are congruent and aligned to who we are and to what we want.  This is why I enjoy my work so much – because I take great pleasure in supporting the path of the individual towards his or her personal recipe for success.
 
There is another paradox here.  Oftentimes, when organisations are involved in discussing the competencies they most yearn to see in their leaders there is one that comes up again and again, labelled as “integrity” or “honesty”.  At the same time, many people walk through their careers in the belief that they need to “play the part” in order to succeed.  At best, this reflects insight into what does and doesn’t work in a particular organisation and an informed choice to work in ways that are effective.  At worst it is the stuff of deep personal stress as we worry that we will not be fully accepted in the workplace unless we play our part well. 
 
And the bottom line is this:  no matter how hard we try, we don’t get to hide.  Our true self creeps out around the edges.  If we have a level of self mastery this can be a great gift to self and others because we all have skills, competencies and other attributes that are of great value in the world of work if only we can find and claim our rightful place.  On the other hand, as long as we are trying to be someone we are not we may struggle to succeed, for the effort of maintaining the facade is great and ultimately ineffective.  It’s just as well that the journey to authenticity and self mastery, whilst challenging and at times painful on the one hand, is also liberating for ourselves and for those we lead on the other – a “win, win” all round.
 
I wonder, to what extent would you describe yourself as bringing your best self to work?  As authentic?  As knowing what works?  A “mark out of ten” will give you a crude measure of your own authenticity in the workplace. 
 
PS Just to let you know, as a member of Amazon Associates UK, I shall receive a referral fee for any books you buy using the links in this posting.  

Defining my niche

Coaching,

Have I shared with you that I have been working this year with Kathy Mallary, a coach who specialises in helping coaches to market their services?  Kathy has been putting me through my paces in recent months as I seek to define my niche.

Another way of putting this – and perhaps a bit more appealing for those of us who enjoy saying it as it is – is that Kathy has been helping me to understand what’s true about those people I most enjoy working with so that I can speak to them (you) in particular through my blog, newsletter and other marketing.  In time, I’d like to think that everything I write (my “marketing”) is a gift to those people I most enjoy working with and whether or not they choose to work with me.  This way I get the “triple whammy” of (a) knowing that when people are looking for the kind of services I most enjoy providing they’ll know to contact me, (b) knowing that my readers will point people in my direction who might be interested in what I have to say and (c) knowing that there are plenty of people who will never become my clients who still enjoy and benefit from reading me.

Now, along the way, I’ve discovered something about myself and my approach to marketing that has been passing under the radar – almost.  I’ve discovered that there’s been a gap between the language I speak when I’m talking about coaching with commissioning managers in organisations and the language I speak with my clients in the privacy of our one-to-one coaching relationships.  It as if, for me, the best kept secret about corporate or executive coaching is that whilst the organisation benefits – and that’s why coaching is worth investing in on behalf of the organisation – the person seeking coaching (or “coachee” or “coaching client”) benefits tenfold.

Kathy has encouraged me to “come out” and cry this from the roof tops.  So I have been putting together a statement of my niche and getting ready to make this the focus of many, many postings in the future.  If you’d like a sneaky peek, why not come back tomorrow?

Moments of truth on the path to learning

Coaching, ,

A client in coaching has the first inkling that their current employer may not be able to meet their current or future career needs or perhaps that their marital partner of many years may not be able to meet them as the person they have become.  It is a moment of great challenge for the client:  a moment when he or she opens a door that, in truth, has been held firmly closed for some time and against a growing body of evidence.

This can become a time of “yes, but… no, but…” as the person seeking coaching dances between two different parts of self.  One part yearns to live life fully and to explore and pursue every need.  Another part has many concerns, from fear of the unknown to some lurking sense of disloyalty at the thought of leaving a job or a lover, preferring stasis to the uncertainties of an as-yet-undiscovered future.

Sometimes the coach gets caught in the crossfire, as if the first inkling that something might be true is equal to the final decision to leave.  As the client back-pedals from his or her own insights the coach may be left holding the idea of change as if it were his or her own.

The truth is such moments, whilst they look like the end of one path are always the beginning of another.  And whilst the coach may be able to say, “ah!  I’ve been here before with other clients on other journeys”, he or she is at this stage as ignorant as the client of the outcomes that may in time come from their work together.  It could go either way.  For who knows what needs might be seeking expression until the client reaches a point of readiness to explore?  And only when those needs have been identified and understood can the client decide how best they might be met.

(And here’s a note to clients everywhere:  if your coach claims to know the outcome of your journey ahead of time – beware!  For even when there are trends and likelihoods, your coach needs to be guided by you, supporting you in forging your own path.  The coach who leads you down a path that is not your own does not serve you well or support you in seeking out and understanding your own wisdom and guidance).

Making the case for a “coaching culture” in your organisation

Coaching, Developing as a leader,

Today a request (on the Training Journal Daily Digest) for input on how to make the case for creating a coaching culture moved me to write. The person making the request had been charged with making the case by her line manager after suggesting it would benefit her employing organisation. Given the level of experience (as best I could judge from a brief posting) I decided to go right back to the fundamentals. This is what I wrote:

There’s plenty I could say on this subject – creating a coaching culture across organisations (also known as a “high performance culture”) is close to my heart and to my professional interests. First though, I thought I’d suggest you get really clear about the outcomes you desire from preparing a business case – and also about the outcomes your manager wants from this activity.

I’m guessing there may be several, including:

  • Making and testing the case for going down this road, i.e. outlining what this might do for your organisation together with credible evidence to support your assertion and testing what it might take to achieve those outcomes. Together, this constitutes your compelling case;
  • Beginning the process of building support and commitment across the organisation for some kind of investment in this;
  • For your manager there may also be other elements which s/he may not express, such as letting you be the person who tests the idea and fails rather than taking on this risk or beginning to coach you in how to build the case and make it stick so that it turns into a viable proposal which achieves great results across the organisation.

These objectives are illustrative – and just to say that if you overlook any one of your key outcomes you may direct energies ineffectively as you set about making your case.

“Executive” and “Life” Coaching: choosing the right coach for you

Coaching

Coaching’s leading international body, The International Coach Federation, offers tips for selecting a coach and, well, more tips for selecting a coach, so I think I need to start this posting by answering a question which may or may not be in your minds: why am I providing thoughts when guidance is already available?

The answer is two-fold or maybe three. Firstly, my recent series of postings on “life” and “executive” coaching doesn’t seem complete to me without addressing the question of how to find the right coach for you. Secondly, you’re here reading this blog and you may or may not know about the ICF’s guidance: at the very least, I wanted to supply the link. And thirdly, it’s possible that I may have some thoughts to add.

The ICF’s Tip 2 is know your objectives for working with a coach. I’m going to put this in pole position and adapt it slightly, to know what you want. When you are seeking help and support it helps to know what outcomes you want from your investment. It’s also possible that the help and support you need right now may or may not be coaching. (I want to add a note of compassion here: from some people at least, exploring what you want is the work in which you invest with your partner of choice).

The ICF Tip 1 is educate yourself about coaching. I’m inclined to adapt this, too, to – simply – educate yourself. I have written about a number of different approaches elsewhere on my blog and as I write I am making a mental note to write an overview of some of the approaches that are out there, though this posting is for another day. The bottom line is this:  coaching may or may not be the right next step for you. Meantime, if you do want to read about coaching, the ICF Research Portal also hosts coaching research articles, case studies, journals, etc.)

There’s a tip the ICF doesn’t highlight: know how you want to work with your coach. As well as knowing what outcomes you want from coaching, it helps to know how you want to work with your coach to make progress towards those outcomes. In practice many clients don’t know the answer to this question until they have their first experience of coaching. Still, thinking through this question helps you to decide whether coaching is the right investment for you and also to find the best match for you. (And in case you want to explore what coaching requires of the coach, you might like to read “Executive” and “Life” Coaching: What does each require of the coach?)

The ICF Tip 3 is to interview three coaches before you decide on one. Professional coaches are used to responding to requests of this kind and benefit from it: just as you want to find the right coach for you they want to find the right clients for them. This part of the process helps you to deepen your understanding of what you want as well as to test the match with your potential coach. It also reassures your coach that you come to coaching from a place of commitment and having “done your homework”.

The ICF Tip 4 follows on from Tip 3, highlighting that when you choose the right coach for you, there should be a connection that feels right for you. In other words, trust your instincts. This is true when you make your initial choice and it’s also true when you start your work together. If your instincts are telling you this isn’t the right person for you to work with, it probably isn’t. Don’t be afraid to draw your coaching to an end and go in search of a better match.

By the time you have gone through these steps, the labels (“executive”, “life” etc.) that have helped you draw up your initial shortlist of coaches should have served their purpose. By now you have had the opportunity to explore in greater depth the match between you and your coach and find the right coach for you. I wish you well with your search.

“Executive” and “Life” Coaching: Finding your place in the marketplace

Coaching, ,
This posting is written by a coach for other coaches, drawing on the input of colleagues who have insight into what it takes to market ourselves effectively.
Let’s just recognise that “Executive” and “Life” Coaching are labels.  On the one hand, there may or may not be critical differences between the two (for more on this you may like to read my postings “Executive” and “Life” Coaching:  How are they similar? and “Executive” and “Life” Coaching:  How are they different?).  On the other hand, their primary role as labels is to help clients and coaches to find each other who are well suited to work together in a productive coaching partnership.  I am grateful to colleagues for pointing this out and for highlighting that these and other labels are not important to people who know the coach:  rather, labels act as the sign that helps people who don’t yet know you to recognise you as the right coach for them.
A key implication of this is that you need to understand how your perfect client thinks at the point when he or she is looking for a coach.  This is different from the question of what ground you may cover together in the course of your coaching partnership which may take you both by surprise.  This includes understanding the key issues that your clients may be looking to address through coaching and the key outcomes they may be seeking – in marketing speak the “benefits” they may be seeking.  This is not about the kind of undercover marketing that is still popular in the mass market but about a genuine understanding of your clients.
A second key implication is that you need to be able to speak to potential clients in their own language:  as one colleague put it, “in the language that our target clients can hear, understand and desire”.  To quote a colleague this implies that as coaches preparing to market our services we need to “get clear on what the heart of our offer is.  Then get ourselves out of the way of what we think our clients want and are looking for – and listen”.  When we meet the kind of people we most yearn to coach what do they say to us and in what language?  This is the language our marketing needs to use.
I could say so much more, based on the rich input of colleagues from a variety of sources, even whilst recognising that I am an apprentice in the field of marketing.  For now I am simply going to express my thanks to colleagues from the Coaching at Work group on LinkedIn and to fellow students on Kathy Mallary’s sales and marketing programme, Empowerment 2010.

“Executive” and “Life” Coaching: What does each require of the coach?

Coaching

As I explore the question in this posting’s title, I am fully aware of another question that it implies: to what extent are the requirements of the coach different for Executive and Life Coaching? I make a mental note to offer my own view as part of writing this posting.

Let’s be clear, both Life and Executive Coaching require highly developed coaching skills. Many authors have attempted to describe them and professional bodies also have their definitions. This is a challenge: in truth, the skilled coach embodies a way of being which is reflected at every level, from their readily visible knowledge and skills to the often implicit values, beliefs and even identity on which their knowledge and skills rest.

These coaching skills enable coaches to establish and work with clients in a relationship of deep trust and respect, even whilst addressing difficult areas in the client’s life and work. As well as creating an initial agreement which sets the boundaries of the coaching relationship and defines how coach and client will work together, the coach has to be flexible, responding with curiosity to whatever the client brings. Practitioners of co-active coaching call this “dancing in the moment”, a term which recognises that the coach does not come with the answers but, rather, facilitates the process by which the client finds his or her own answers. Working with clients is likely to involve having conversations of a depth clients have not experienced elsewhere.

Many coaches can point to an extensive professional training that underpins their work, together with ongoing professional development: working with their own coach and working under the supervision of another coach is likely to be the tip of the iceberg. For me, this implies an authenticity as a learner which has been developed over a number of years. It’s not only that the coach has developed his or her craft but also that he or she is a learner who sees learning as an ongoing, life-long commitment.

This commitment to learning makes a number of significant contributions to coaching, whether Life or Executive. The coach has knowledge and insight that clients may not have. This ranges from (for example) insights into the way organisations work, through insights into the way individuals work to insights into the experience of being a learner. Thus, the coach’s professional development as a coach is a beginning but not the end. The coach who has learned to ask challenging questions more widely in his or her life is well equipped to ask questions in coaching. The coach who has faced his or her own fears is able to support clients in facing their own, even though they may not be the same as the coach’s.

It’s at this point that I come to the differences in the requirements of the coach of Life and Executive Coaching. For me this is a “both… and” question: at times, in the words of Niels Bohr, the opposite is also true. Each coach needs to be able to command the respect and trust of his or her clients who may have different expectations of their coach. The life client may be in search of empathy and understanding from a coach who is going to work with him or her in every area of his or her life. The executive client may look for signs that the coach has a deep understanding of life at the top of an organisation. Both may look for knowledge. Both may look for relevant experience. Both may look for a coach who has a passion for the field in which s/he works.

At the same time, such things as knowledge and past experience can be an impediment to coaching if they are not coupled with the kind of skills as a coach and a learner that I have described above. The executive-turned-coach may be trading on knowledge whilst lacking the skills to facilitate the client’s own process or, worse still, whilst having been ineffective in a senior executive role. The life coach may have deep empathy for the client who is going through experiences he or she has also struggled with and be poorly equipped to help the client to find the learning that will heal and transform.

In my view and in the view of many coaches, the most able coaches can and do support clients with both the life and the work piece so that the label Life or Executive Coach reflects more than anything a positioning in the marketplace. (I say more about this in my postings “Executive” and “Life” Coaching: Finding your place in the marketplace and “Executive” and “Life” Coaching: choosing the right coach for you).

Perhaps the quote below, from a colleague who responded to my posting on this subject, best illustrates the paradoxes inherent in trying to distinguish between different kinds of coaching:

For years I have literally battled with, disliking “life coach”, and focusing on small business coaching yet my greatest gift and my greatest joy in coaching is the “life” piece which is needed in the foundation to be successful in business.

But my clients are ready to hire for this – they want to hire me to help their business. They always say the “personal part” is such a bonus and now they know what they know they can’t imagine not having it. But they GROANED at doing any personal stuff up front, and wanted to get on to the business!

“Executive” and “Life” Coaching: How are they different?

Coaching

Now, it’s easy to be cynical when it comes to the question of what makes the difference between Executive and Life Coaching. What would the cynics say? Some would talk of the greed of Executive Coaches, whose fees can be 10 times or more the fees charged by life coaches. Equally, some would talk of these fee levels as a sign that client egos are standing in the way of rational judgment. And some courageous coaches would admit that setting their fee levels in line with the corporate market can help them to create the presence they seek in the marketplace even whilst feeling uncertain and anxious about selling their services. All of these things may be true – though not always. It seems unlikely that the corporate marketplace is universally naive or that coaches are generally greedy. So in what ways are Executive and Life Coaching different and how does this justify the significant difference in fees?

A key difference – which is nonetheless easily overlooked – is in who buys and for what purpose. In Executive Coaching, the buyer is the organisation and the purpose is typically to benefit the organisation. Executive Coaching has as its primary emphasis the individual in the context of the business. In Life Coaching, the buyer is the person seeking coaching and any emphasis on the individual’s work is in the context of the individual’s life and/or career. Executive Coaching is holistic, working with the whole person. At the same time it has as its primary area of focus the individual in the context of the business or organisation. Life Coaching, like Executive Coaching, is holistic, working with the whole person. Unlike Executive Coaching, however, Life Coaching is about the person’s whole life, as well as about the whole person.

In practical terms, the differences arising from the question of who buys can be subtle: after all, the ground covered by an Executive Coach and a Life Coach with the same client may be the same along with the outcomes. The high flying executive may use coaching to identify his or her next career move, for example, and this may or may not be with the same organisation, even when coaching is funded by the individual’s employer. And whether coaching is funded by the business on behalf of an individual or by the individual him- or herself, the client is always the individual concerned. It is to this person that the coach has a primary duty.

At the same time, there are important financial distinctions between Life and Executive Coaching – and not just the difference between the funds each buyer can command. These are also distinctions in the value to each buyer of the outcomes of coaching. Improvements in a senior executive’s performance, for example, translate into results (including bottom line results) that affect the whole organisation. Often, these bottom line results come via changes in the senior executive’s behaviour and this in turn may come from changes in his or her way of being. The driven executive may learn to engage staff and harness their motivation rather than to leave them two steps behind. The passionate and brilliant executive may learn that good ideas still need to be sold (and how). Over time, the return on investment can make the investment in coaching seem modest.

So far I have spoken in terms of the buyer and the value to each buyer of Life and Executive Coaching and this could suggest that there is no difference between the two. At the same time, many coaches have struggled to succeed as Executive Coaches whilst some Executive Coaches make poor other-than-business coaches. So what does it take to succeed in each discipline? If you’re interested to explore this question you might want to read “Executive” and “Life” Coaching: what does each require of the coach?

“Executive” and “Life” Coaching: How are they similar?

Coaching

The Association for Coaching offers definitions of various types of coaching beginning with “Personal/Life Coaching”. Using Anthony Grant’s words (University of Sydney, 2000) Personal/Life Coaching is defined as: A collaborative solution-focussed, results-oriented and systematic process in which the coach facilitates the enhancement of work performance, life experience, self-directed learning and personal growth of the coachee. The Association’s definition of Executive Coaching begins with the words As for personal coaching, but… It’s easy to see that coaching of all kinds has aspects in common.

Grant’s definition – like many others – points both to the “what” and to the “how” of coaching. Coaching is an outcome-oriented process which, potentially, addresses all areas of clients’ lives. In his definition of Personal/Life Coaching Grant identifies key areas of outcome as enhancement of work performance, life experience, self-directed learning and personal growth of the coachee. It’s easy to see that, whether coaching is funded by the employer for a senior executive (Executive Coaching) or funded by the individual for his or her own purposes (Personal or Life Coaching) these outcomes might apply. On the surface at least, there are similarities in the “what” of Executive and Life Coaching.

Grant’s definition also implies similarities in the “how” of coaching, describing coaching as a collaborative solution-focussed, results-oriented and systematic process in which the coach facilitates (…). This definition helps to differentiate coaching from other forms of intervention (advice, training, therapy…). At the same time, it suggests that the “how” of both Executive and Life Coaching have a great deal in common. Both require an ability on the part of the coach to facilitate their client’s learning process, supporting the client in identifying and moving towards desired outcomes. Coaching is a holistic activity which requires of the coach an ability to engage with the client in the round – to engage with the whole person.

It follows that whatever the coach is offering and however he or she labels his or her own work, Executive Coaches and Life Coaches have a skills set in common and both have to be highly developed in these skills. (I say more about this in my posting: “Executive” and “Life” Coaching: What does each require of the coach?). Equally, both are circumscribed by the coach’s code of ethics. These codes of ethics vary not because of the context in which a coach practices so much as because various supervisory bodies have different ethical codes.

So much for the ways in which Executive and Life Coaching are similar. What about their differences? If you are interested to read more, you can find some thoughts in my posting: “Executive” and “Life” Coaching: How are they different?

“Executive” and “Life” Coaching: A matter of prejudice?

Coaching,

Let’s be clear, the terms “Executive” and “Life” coaching can become laden with prejudice, amongst coaches as well as amongst their clients. In this posting I take a moment to identify some of the prejudices that exist and some of the reasons for their existence.

It’s easy to spot that the term “life coaching” has acquired negative connotations. In recent discussions, some of my coaching colleagues pointed to the fact that “life coaching” features in the media both in areas and in ways which define the way they are seen. Whilst Executive Coaching is the matter of discussion in the business press, Life Coaching features in women’s magazines and daytime TV so that coaching in turn becomes the object of any associations and even prejudices that go with their media host. In addition, the kind of “coaching” that is featured on TV is often several steps wide of any accepted definition of coaching. In the words of one colleague, this can give the impression that life coaches are “superficial and/or flaky”.

In the workplace, the term “executive coaching” can tend to benefit from positive associations. This can be a reflection of the way it is sold to potential coaching clients: as a sign of their importance and seniority. At one level this assertion is spot on: organisations tend to invest in people in senior posts where the return on investment in coaching can be significant across the organisation. At the same time, this assertion may reflect the need (as perceived by sponsors of coaching) to entice some of an organisation’s most wayward executives into the net of coaching in order to address areas in which some kind of adjustment is needed. It can be a paradox of coaching in organisations that whilst the people for whom coaching is made available are usually amongst the most talented in the organisation they may include both the highest performers and some whose performance is in some way problematic: the two are not mutually exclusive.

Amongst my colleagues in the coaching profession, some were honest enough to recognise that it’s easy to take shelter under the term “Executive Coach” and its associations. In situations in which they do not feel sure of themselves it can be used to try to project a certain image with potential clients and – yes – to justify the fees. I would add that I have seen some former Executives retire one day and adopt this label the next. Whilst this is far from universal I would counsel buyers to know what they want to buy and to lift up the label and look underneath before buying.

I wonder if the term “coaching” (and especially “life coaching”) suffers from prejudice because of a fear that is widely held and rarely acknowledged: the fear that one might be fundamentally flawed. Identified by Gay Hendricks in his book The Big Leap, this fear is familiar to many who have gone on to embrace their full potential and to achieve great success. For those who say no to coaching and other forms of learning, seeing coaching as something negative is a way to hold this fear at bay. For some of coaching’s most dedicated and most successful clients, facing this fear was a step they took before signing up to coaching.