Mo had a highly successful career with an organisation he enjoyed working for. He was highly task-focused and could be relied upon to deliver against targets. He had built a reputation for turning round parts of the business that were under-performing and this had led to rapid promotion.

Mo was beginning to tire of his reputation as “turn-around king” and he wanted to take on a broader role. He especially wanted to demonstrate that he could deliver results in a part of the business that was thriving. He was willing to travel internationally and could see a number of possibilities across the organisation. Given his track record, he expected that he would be rewarded by a promotion.

Mo’s promotions had often come to him and, as time went on, he began to feel frustrated with the opportunities that were being offered to him. It seemed his manager had no understanding of his aspirations and no intention to find out what he wanted, despite Mo’s years of committed service. Increasingly, and for the first time in his career, Mo felt down and was struggling to enjoy his work.

Mo was harbouring an assumption of which he was unaware: that it was the responsibility of his manager on behalf of the organisation to meet his needs. What’s more, it was Mo’s view that his manager should be proactive in finding out what those needs were. For this reason, he took no action to further his own needs and didn’t share them with his boss.

The person who is match fit may have views about the role of his or her boss. And still, he leaves nothing to chance. He recognises that his boss (and anyone else, for that matter) may or may not share and fulfil his expectations. He is ready to take full responsibility for his needs. Sometimes this means taking action. Sometimes this means making requests of others. Over time, this proactive approach brings him closer to meeting his needs. Along the way, this approach helps to boost his sense of power and possibility.

Here are some questions to help you to identify the extent to which you are taking responsibility for your own needs:

• To what extent do you think it’s OK to have needs?
• To what extent are you aware of the approach you take to meeting your needs? To what extent have you chosen this approach?
• To what extent do you view it as your responsibility to find ways to meet your needs?
• To what extent do you have expectations of others – things you think they “ought” to do which would have an impact on your life?
• To what extent do you take responsibility for the needs of others? (This could be a sign that you are expecting a quid pro quo whereby you meet their needs and they meet yours)

What additional questions would you offer in relation to taking responsibility for your own needs?