This morning I am thinking of all the mirrors in my bedroom.

Well, perhaps I should be more precise.  I am thinking of all the meta-mirrors in my bedroom.  The meta-mirror is a technique from neuro-linguistic programming (or NLP) which helps people to transform negative feelings towards another person and to take the learning from a situation that will help to release feelings of anger, frustration and more.  As a technique, it’s easy to learn and easy to apply.

NLP often uses physical space in the process of making mental distinctions and the meta-mirror is no exception.  This is why I think of my bedroom when I think of the meta-mirror.  It’s not only that I like to use this ample space when I want to process some feelings I have about a person or situation.  It’s also that on the rare occasions when I am feeling angry or frustrated, it makes sense to do this processing before I go to bed in order to be able to get a good night’s sleep.

Over time, using this technique seems to build in a muscle that is pre-emptive.  The anger and frustration is less right from the beginning because the ways of thinking that produce it are changing.  There’s no “sainthood” involved – just an ongoing process of learning.

Over the years I have taught this technique in various settings and found it invaluable.  I still remember teaching it to a group of headteachers as part of a training in coaching skills.  I like to demonstrate it before having participants try it out themselves.  Later, the headteacher who had been my demo subject on that day told me the experience had changed his life.