Well, I didn’t set out to make this week Empathy Week and still, I am immensely grateful to my colleague in the world of non-violent communication (NVC), Jeroen Lichtenauer, for highlighting a wealth of resources available to support my exploration.

Today, I have been diving into a paper written by Carl Rogers, entitled Empathic:  An Unappreciated Way of Being.  Before I write about Rogers’ article it is worth saying a few words about the man himself:  Carl Rogers worked as a psychologist and therapist in twentieth century America and his work has been highly influential across a range of related fields.  As well as shaping an approach to therapy which is radically different to some of the more analytical approaches which preceded it, Rogers’ approach has been highly influential in the modern coaching profession and Marshall Rosenberg also points to Rogers as having influenced his attempts to develop an approach (eventually called Nonviolent or Compassionate Communication) which could be shared easily around the world without the costs associated with individual therapy.

Now, Rogers’ credentials are highly rated with some and yet may ring alarm bells with others.  What does all this mean for the average man or woman seeking to find a way through a corporate career?  It’s worth mentioning the work of David McClelland and his colleagues (popularised by Daniel Goleman in such books as Emotional Intelligence and Working with Emotional Intelligence).  McClelland’s research showed that our effectiveness in the workplace depends significantly on a number of competencies which depend on our emotional rather than intellectual intelligence.  Empathy matters!  And, in fact, empathy is listed as a competency in the Hay Group Emotional Competence Inventory which seeks to translate these research findings into practical ways of measuring competency and emotional intelligence at work.

Rogers’ paper includes a number of definitions of empathy including at least two of his own.  The quote above, from the conclusion of his paper, points both to what we might mean by empathy and to the significance of empathy for the individual.  Both are big subjects in themselves so let me just say for the moment that when we are able to be present to our own thoughts, feelings, experience and needs (self empathy) or to the thoughts, feelings, experience and needs of another (empathy) without judgement we open up a wide range of possibilities in our relationships and communication with self and other.  This is every bit as significant in the workplace as it is in the therapist’s office, where the presence or absence of empathy will have an effect on key aspects of our work life.  These include our ability to make and execute sound decisions as well as our personal well-being, our ability to engage those we lead as well as our ability to marshall our own inner – and often conflicting  – voices.

What is the key question we might ask our selves to determine the extent to which we are able to demonstrate empathy?  Here is my starter for ten:  am I able to put myself in the shoes of another, to connect with their feelings and needs and in this way to see multiple perspectives without needing to be “right”?