A client in coaching has the first inkling that their current employer may not be able to meet their current or future career needs or perhaps that their marital partner of many years may not be able to meet them as the person they have become. It is a moment of great challenge for the client: a moment when he or she opens a door that, in truth, has been held firmly closed for some time and against a growing body of evidence.
This can become a time of “yes, but… no, but…” as the person seeking coaching dances between two different parts of self. One part yearns to live life fully and to explore and pursue every need. Another part has many concerns, from fear of the unknown to some lurking sense of disloyalty at the thought of leaving a job or a lover, preferring stasis to the uncertainties of an as-yet-undiscovered future.
Sometimes the coach gets caught in the crossfire, as if the first inkling that something might be true is equal to the final decision to leave. As the client back-pedals from his or her own insights the coach may be left holding the idea of change as if it were his or her own.
The truth is such moments, whilst they look like the end of one path are always the beginning of another. And whilst the coach may be able to say, “ah! I’ve been here before with other clients on other journeys”, he or she is at this stage as ignorant as the client of the outcomes that may in time come from their work together. It could go either way. For who knows what needs might be seeking expression until the client reaches a point of readiness to explore? And only when those needs have been identified and understood can the client decide how best they might be met.
(And here’s a note to clients everywhere: if your coach claims to know the outcome of your journey ahead of time – beware! For even when there are trends and likelihoods, your coach needs to be guided by you, supporting you in forging your own path. The coach who leads you down a path that is not your own does not serve you well or support you in seeking out and understanding your own wisdom and guidance).
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career discussion
I am sure you are probably right about this in relation to employment/work, but marriage?
>'or perhaps that their marital partner of many years may not be able to meet them as the person they have become'
What about meeting the person they have become, can the client do that?
Working for an employer might be about mutual benefit and moving on from that might be appropriate. But marriage is a committment. What about when one partner is ill? Do you leave them then because 'they cannot meet you as the person you have become'?
Leaving a partner because the grass is greener? Doesn't sound like marriage to me.