In my recent newsletter article about thriving in hard times, I suggested that it’s good to take time off. I also highlighted how different types of time off come with different outcomes. I wrote:
Lesley’s response to her fear of redundancy has been to work longer hours. Over time, the return on this investment has been poor. Although Lesley is working longer hours she is increasingly exhausted so that her productivity during the hours she is working has gone down rather than up. At the same time, she is now so close to her work that she is increasingly losing perspective. This lack of perspective is adversely affecting her performance at work. What’s more, increasingly, she sees keeping her current job as the one and only way of meeting her needs and this in turn increases her sense of stress.
John has taken a different approach. Taking time out with friends has provided a distraction from his concerns. Smoking and drinking has also been providing a welcome break. However, this approach has had its downsides. As well as increasing risks to his health, John’s approach has led to tension at home where his wife, also worried about the possible impact of the economy, sees John’s approach as irresponsible and has started to criticise him.
Carl’s approach reflects his confidence that he is doing what he can to make progress towards his goals. During the time he works, he focuses on making progress in the areas in which he has set himself targets. Away from work, he gives his full attention to activities which are also meeting his needs. Carl is clear, for example, that he wants to create – together with his wife – a relationship that enriches them both. He also wants to maintain health and physical fitness. Far from being a distraction from work, his other-than-work activities also contribute to his well-being in other areas of his life.
Where do you start if you are tied up in work and don’t know how to take time off? Here are a few clues:
- Step 1: Notice where you’re starting from. Perhaps you’re working hard and you don’t believe it’s possible to take time off and survive. In this case, you might want to go straight to Step 2 below. Perhaps you are taking time off and at the same time you notice how you don’t feel any better for it. In this case you might want to skip to Step 3. At this stage, you may like to check for any signs that you are taking actions to block out your emotions – to take the edge off your fear of failing at this critical time, for example, or of losing your job. If this is true for you, you might like to ask yourself “do I want to live my life this way?” If the answer is no, it may be timely for you to reach out for help;
- Step 2: Replace “I don’t have time” with “I have all the time I need”. The belief that you don’t have time to take time off is just that – a belief. At some level, it’s a belief that you’re choosing. If you want to explore the theme of choosing you might like to read Choosing to Choose (http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com/2009/05/choosing-to-choose.html) or Choosing Beliefs that Empower (http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com/2009/06/choosing-beliefs-that-empower.html), also in this series of articles. Or you might like to try on two contrasting beliefs, for example “I don’t have time” and “I have all the time I need”. Take time with each belief, noticing how you feel when you try on each belief. Which one is the most empowering? Once you choose the belief “I have all the time I need” the question becomes not “Have I got time…?” but “How do I make time..?”
- Step 3: Notice what you want from your spare time. What do you want your spare time to do for you? Carl was clear about what he wanted from his spare time? Are you? The more you get clear about what you want from your spare time the more you can plan activities that are likely to give you what you want. Carl’s aims, for example, require ongoing and sustained investment to come good. Sometimes, though, it’s enough to notice that you need to take a break to refresh your thinking in the workplace or that you’re hungry and need “brain food”;
- Step 4: Plan an action or course of action that meets your needs. Once you know what needs you want to meeet, you can identify and take the action or actions to meet your needs. It’s possible that at this stage you may identify multiple courses of action to meet different needs and you may even feel overwhelmed as you try to fit everything in. So it may help to approach this stage as a time of experimentation;
- Step 5: Check: is it working? Meeting your needs requires a constant awareness of how well your chosen actions are working – both in meeting individual needs and in supporting you in meeting all your needs. Planning a lengthy round of golf each week may meet your need for regular exercise, for example, but how does it contribute to your need to sustain a healthy and loving relationship with your partner? Make a point of checking how effective your plans are in meeting the needs you have identified and make adjustments.