In my recent newsletter I wrote:
Accessing the resources you need is not only about reaching out for help. Carl’s readiness to reach out for help is a reflection of his own inner resources, including his belief that he is fundamentally OK, no matter what he knows or has yet to learn. Our inner resources include our personality traits, states of mind and beliefs.
In coaching, coaches make a powerful contribution when they help the people with whom they work in coaching partnership to identify and to access the resources they need. This contribution depends on holding the belief that their clients have the resources they need to succeed – the belief that clients are creative, resourceful and whole.
With or without the help of a coach, Carl is able constantly to access the inner resources he needs to maintain equilibrium in challenging times, as well as to achieve happiness and success.
How do people access the resouces they need in hard times? My training in neuro-linguistic programming (or NLP) provides some simple steps we can take:
- Step 1: Know what you want. Before you access your inner resources, you need to know what you want them to do for you. I wrote about ways to explore what you want in my posting on 27th May 2009;
- Step 2: Identify – name – the inner resources you need to make progress towards your desired outcomes. These may be beliefs, states of mind, emotions… When you ask yourself what inner resources you need it’s likely that your other-than-conscious mind will have some answers – and some of them may surprise you!
- Step 3: Try them on for size. It’s not enough to have an intellectual understanding that you need confidence and a belief in your capability. Trying these resources on for size gives you the full package – a powerful felt sense that you already have these resources. Trying them on for size is like building a muscle: the more you do this, the more you have these resources at your immediate disposal;
- Step 4: Notice any resistance or incongruity. Sometimes, there will be reasons why you resist accessing a resource. Perhaps you have a belief that you need to work hard to get what you want, for example, which stands in the way of accessing a sense of ease. This may be something you need to explore – to work with with your coach, for example, before you can truly access the resources you have identified.
And as I write I notice how hurried I am knowing I am due to go away on Friday. It’s time to notice what resources I need to feel confident I have all the time I need to get things done before I go away…