Arundhati Roy was surely onto the source of all joys when she named her novel (itself a thing of beauty and joy) The God of Small Things. I know I am attuned to this god when the world offers me the opportunity (as it has done in recent days) to rejoice in the small and simple things in life and when, taking that opportunity, I feel both joy and peace.

Recently, I had one such “small” joy. This took place when one of my university colleagues read about my blog in our college review and was moved to take a look and then to drop me a line. I have been enjoying our correspondence, knowing instinctively that we had and still have the potential to enrich each others’ lives.

Last week I came home after running a training for clients in how to interview leaders using a competency-based approach, only to find she had sent me an intriguing question. With her permission I am sharing it with you. She said:

I have an interview in a few weeks and will likely be asked about my style as a leader!! If one isn’t a natural leader but ain’t bad at it, how does one convincingly convey this?! Is it reasonable to say I have observed other leaders I admire and have taken on attributes I feel comfortable with?

This description reminds me of many professionals who progress to take on leadership roles to which they were not initially attracted. Seeking to adapt to the role, some of them will struggle to get excited about work whose results are measured in terms of the work of a wider team – for isn’t “work” something you do yourself? For some, time spent building relationships, managing staff etc. is perceived as time wasted – a distraction from the work itself. Recognising that when you are a leader engaging others is the work itself can constitute a big shift.

It strikes me that my friend is on the right track. Whilst the “born or made” debate continues, it’s often true that we model our leadership style on those whose leadership we admire and seek to adapt it so that we are both effective (maybe even inspiring) leaders and also remain true to ourselves. I am reminded of Daniel Goleman’s book The New Leaders which is so effective in bringing some solid research to a wider audience. What key points might I want to share with my friend ahead of her interview? They include:

• Research shows leaders use a range of different leadership styles and that each style can be predicted to have a different outcome;
• Some of these styles build motivation and engagement. They get the best out of people over time. Goleman describes these as “resonant” and identifies them as the visionary, coaching, affiliative and democratic styles;
• Some of them (coercive/commanding, pace-setting) have their place but need to be used sparingly. Otherwise they tend to reduce engagement and motivation and undermine performance. Goleman describes them as “dissonant” styles;
• Each style has a place! Knowing when to use which style and being able to adapt one’s style to fit the situation is what makes a truly great leader.

Knowing which style to use when requires both insight and flexibility: the most effective leaders have a command of the full range of styles and know when to use them. Sometimes these are the men and women who seem never to have reflected on leadership but rather to have an instinctive grasp of what’s needed. More often, truly great leaders are great because, over time, they have paid attention to what works and what doesn’t work and, in this way, developed a level of mastery in their leadership.

So, as my friend prepares for her interview I wonder what it means to say one “ain’t bad” at leadership. Teasing this out ahead of time could be valuable interview preparation.