Tag Archives: resources for clients

When you’re needing fuel for the journey

Coaching, Emotional Intelligence, ,

In recent days I’ve been creating postings on the blog as a support to the main article of my newsletter which I sent out on Friday. I’ve written about half the postings I plan to write in this series. Today though, I’m taking a diversion – one that I dedicate to one of – all of – my coaching clients with gratitude for our work together.

On 6th May 2009, I started one of my postings by saying that the power of coaching lies in its invitation to become increasingly conscious of the dreams we hold for our life and to take steps towards the fulfilment of those dreams. Some clients come to coaching brimming with energy and excitement, ready to enlist the support of their coach to help them to fulfil their dreams. These are the clients who are already looking back on a history of making dreams come true and who have taken bold steps along the way to make things happen. They already know that they have everything they need to succeed in life and they use coaching to accelerate their progress. It’s easy to recognise them as “high performers”.

Some clients do not yet know they are “high performers” when they come to coaching. Sometimes this is because they have all sorts of successes behind them that they don’t yet recognise. Sometimes this is because their success lies in honing to perfection strategies for achieving their goals or ways of being in this world that habitually fail to deliver intended outcomes. Either way, they can feel a great sense of despair when they start to work with a coach – overwhelmed by the distance between where they are now and where they want to be, despondent in the belief that they can’t possibly make the changes they need to in order to reach their goals or that they lack the resources they need to make those changes. It’s as if it’s taken them so long to decide to seek the help they need that a miracle is well and truly overdue. When it doesn’t happen straight away their despair increases – at least for a while.

There is a simple change of perspective – a decision to look at our experience in a slightly different way – that can provide fuel for the journey when it’s most needed. In the field of neurolinguistic programming this links to adopting an “outcome focus”. In the field of nonviolent communication, practitioners often refer to adopting the practice of gratitude. To link it to my recent newsletter, I would add that adopting this practice makes for an increase in one’s resilience – no matter what life throws in your direction. To adopt this practice also increases one’s sense of joy and fulfilment.

What does the practice of gratitude comprise? Here are a few pointers:

  • Step 1, setting an intention: If we plan to notice those things that are working in our lives, it’s more likely than not that we will. So start by setting your intention and notice what comes up. If you experience any inner resistance you may want to explore this on your own or with your coach. Otherwise move to Step 2;
  • Step 2, making time and a place: It’s not that you need to make extra time available and add to your already over-burdened schedule. It’s just that when you’re clear about when and how you’re going to practice gratitude you’re more likely to do it. Perhaps you will create a special notebook in which you write every day at a time of your choosing. Perhaps you will use your walk with the dog or your journey home from work as a time of reflection. Perhaps you’ll make a weekly appointment with a trusted friend or colleague. Choose whatever ways work for you and be ready to adapt them in the light of your experiences along the way;
  • Step 3, notice what’s working for you: Marshall Rosenberg offers a specific way to notice what’s working for you. A first step is to notice something that you have done or that someone else has done that meets your needs. In itself, this may be a step forward, requiring you to shine a light on aspects of your life which otherwise go unnoticed. The second step is to notice the feelings you have when you notice these actions. I invite you to bathe in the feelings that come up when you notice something that’s working for you – however large or small! The third step is to notice what needs have been met by your own or someone else’s action.

There are many more things you can do – additional steps if you like – to leverage the power of gratitude. One is to express your gratitude to the person or people for whose actions you feel grateful. Another is to make a similar process part of your regular meetings with staff. I could give many examples. If, though, your aim is to feel more optimistic about the journey you are making, and to build your levels of trust and belief that you can make that journey, I recommend you focus on Steps 1 to 3 above.

And whatever you experience as a result of adopting this practice I wish you more power for your journey.

Coaching: the Rolls Royce of personal development experiences

Clients and testimonials, Coaching, , , ,

I have a reciprocal arrangement with a coaching colleague, whereby we interview a percentage of each other’s clients at the close of a coaching relationship. This supports the process of drawing coaching to a close and yields valuable feedback which helps us both to continue to learn and grow.

Recently, I completed my coaching with RN, a senior leader in his organisation with a European remit. I am grateful to him for allowing me to share his testimonial following our work together. He told my colleague:

“My goals for coaching have been 100% met. I have adopted a more conscious approach to work and career decisions and I am more aware of options. Coaching has enabled and accelerated my ability to identify my values, priorities and options in my work life. I am more energized and happier and so more productive – and this has spilled into my private life too. This is more than I expected when we started.

“In the initial opening session we discussed coaching and set the scene and it went well from there. Dorothy had a positive attitude and was a good listener. She was always challenging and asked me questions that opened up new perspectives for me. I found coaching action-orientated – it was not relaxing at all and at the same time it’s a very selfish thing, wonderful to have someone there to talk to where it is all about you. I liked the length of our sessions: they gave time to get to the bottom of things but not be tired. The frequency was adapted to my priorities. Also, when I sent e-mails in between sessions I always got a quick happy, and positive response from Dorothy.

“What would I say to anyone who was thinking of investing in coaching? It is the Rolls-Royce of personal development experiences. I would recommend it absolutely”.

As I review R’s comments I celebrate our work together – including so many details about our coaching partnership and about R’s commitment to coaching which I am in no position to share.

And I also extend an invitation to you: if R’s testimonial describes an experience you would like to have, or if you know someone who may be interested to work with me, please contact me directly via dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk.

Senior Leadership Teams: what it takes to make them great

Coaching, Developing as a leader, , ,

Tomorrow, I meet my clients here in Dubai. Our focus will be on Executive Coaching as a support to the development of the organisation’s Senior Leadership Team.

Synchronicity is a wonderful thing. Over morning coffee with my valued colleague Patricia Marshall, I mention this forthcoming trip and she offers me a copy of the recently published Senior Leadership Teams: What it takes to make them great. I have been taking the opportunity to read this book, with its veritable roll-call of authers (Ruth Wageman, Debra A. Nunes, James A. Burruss and J. Richard Hackman) by way of preparation.

Based on their research into leadership teams in a wide variety of organisations, the authors lay out six conditions which differentiate outstanding teams at Senior Leadership level. They describe the first three as essential and the second three as enablers. On the surface, the conditions have a whiff of cliche: don’t we all know that the best Senior Leadership Teams have a compelling purpose and direction? And isn’t it axiomatic that you have to have the right people with the right capabilities for the team to succeed? Notwithstanding the authors explore their research with a degree of precision which adds great depth and illustrate it with many examples. It helps, too, that their research is based on work with a list of client organisations that many coaches, consultants and advisers could only admire – maybe even envy.

In my role as Executive Coach, I find good news and bad. Team coaching for the Senior Leadership Team is highlighted as one of the six conditions, an enabler. The authors tell their CEO readers, “Do not skimp on coaching”. Still, coaching alone cannot make up for the absence of other conditions (though it may help the team’s leader to identify and address their absence). What’s more, the authors highlight a surprising finding: that teams do not improve markedly even if all their members receive individual coaching to develop their personal capabilities. I find these pointers thought-provoking and helpful ahead of a meeting to explore my client’s expectations of coaching.

And what would I say to the CEO, pondering whether or not to read this book? If you are sleeping soundly at night in the full knowledge that your Senior Leadership Team is delivering way beyond your expectations you may find better ways to use your time. If, however, you have any sense at all that the team of which you are leader has more to give, if indeed you are tearing your hair out as you wonder why such a talented group of people behave like children in the board room, this book is an invaluable read. Its systematic exploration of its territory offers a way to diagnose the issues you face as well as guidance on how to address them.

Please let me know how you get on in turning your team from good, bad or indifferent to great. Truly great.