Tag Archives: developing leadership intelligence

Making friends with power

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It’s a funny thing, power. David McClelland, in his extensive study of human motivation (summarised in the book of the same name) identified power as one of three primary areas of unconscious motivation.

Mention power in many circles, even circles of power and influence, and you’ll find, frankly, that it gets a bad press. It’s easy to see why this might be true, when we have such a long history in the human race of exercising power over others in ways which meet the needs of one person or group at the expense of the needs of another.

Through my studies of nonviolent communication, I have come to a different understanding of power. For whilst we can exercise power over others we can also exercise power with others. We do this when we act from the belief that our needs – everybody’s needs – are important. This belief provides a basis for seeking to find ways to connect with, honour and meet our needs. This same belief provides a basis for helping others to do the same.

A first step on the road to nonviolence is to fully inhabit our own needs – to connect with them, bathe in them, experience the living energy of those needs. Perhaps it’s worth highlighting that when we are truly connected to our needs our primary focus is on our needs. The question of how we might meet them and who might help us in this endeavour becomes secondary. There are so many ways in which different needs can be met.

Now, in my work as a consultant and, more recently, in my work as a coach, I have for some years been helping leaders as they grapple with questions of power. Still, ten days after spending a day with consultant and NVC trainer Gina Lawrie, something she said and has said before is landing with me with a new energy and I recognise just how much I want to embrace the power of my needs fully and in this way to inhabit and live from my full power. Only days after sharing my values on my blog I realise it’s time to revise them and add another. I’m not yet sure I have the words right and still they are good enough for now. I decide that one of my values, a way of honouring and serving life is:

Fully inhabiting and living from my power.

When Fish Fly

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I am ‘in haste’ this afternoon. It’s not just that I’m away next week. In addition, I shall be leaving for Rugby in about half an hour, where I shall be leading two masterclasses in leadership tomorrow.

As I pack I listen to Kevin Gray reading When Fish Fly: Lessons for Creating a Vital and Energised Workplace. This is essentially John Yokoyama’s story of how he turned his failing Seattle fish stall into the World Famous Pike Place Fish Market. When Fish Fly is one of the resources I have recommended for the leaders with whom I shall be working tomorrow. With only ninety minutes per session, I am confident that participants are likely to go away with as many questions as answers and I want to provide some options for them for further exploration.

My listening helps me to engage ahead of time with the ground I want to cover. It is full of stories that inspire me. It reminds me of what it takes to lead one’s life from a place of choosing as much as it does of what it takes to lead and engage others. And of course, there are no surprises here – isn’t it true that leadership, like charity, begins at home?

In addition, participants have returned preparatory questionnaires and I am looking forward to reading them in the quiet seclusion of my hotel room this evening. This will help me to connect ahead of time with members of the group.

As I complete my posting I give thanks that I am able to earn my living in this way.

What is an “alternative approach”?

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Some time ago, I wrote about an experience I had – a session of Emotional Freedom Technique. This was something I hadn’t heard about until my friend Alex started to study it. I chose a new keyword for this posting – Alternative Approaches – and even as I chose the keyword I recognised that this heading begs the simple question: what is an alternative approach? Today, sitting in the lounge at Heathrow Airport, I am taking some time to respond to this question. I offer no prior research – simply an opinion.

As I understand it, the word “alternative” when applied to all sorts of approaches, is used as an alternative to “mainstream”. The primary issue here seems to be one of acceptance: is an approach accepted. This in turn begs the question: who by? I think of questions of power – would it be true to say that mainstream approaches are those approaches which are recognised by those sections of society which are most powerful? However, the question of what constitutes power is a subtle one. Instead, I opt to describe the mainstream as a tide of culture which is in some way recognised and endorsed.

It’s easy, when discussing alternative and mainstream approaches, to jump to the conclusion that those approaches which are seen as mainstream are those which scientists have tested and endorsed. There is much to discuss here and much to dispute. In the field of leadership in which I work, one approach that has passed into the mainstream via academic research is the use of competencies to identify those characteristics which differentiate the most outstanding leaders. Whilst this approach is largely taken for granted now, it was originally an alternative to the prevailing idea that testing for IQ (intelligence quota) was the best way to recruit for leadership potential. It was the research of David McClelland and his colleagues which showed this widely accepted (“mainstream”) approach to be based on assumptions which were, in fact, inaccurate. Because of McClelland’s research, testing for competencies, still an alternative approach 30 years ago, has gradually become mainstream.

At the same time, scientists can be blind to evidence when it does not fit prior theories or when they struggle to explain it. Fresh from participating in a training in Transcendental Meditation (TM) I am struck by an anecdote which I had heard prior to attending the training and which I heard again whilst I was there. Some years ago, a large group of meditators spent some time meditating in Washington D.C. with the express aim of reducing crime rates. The Chief of Police was highly sceptical, predicting that it would take six feet of snow to have this effect. Still, the scientists who had been lined up to study the data had to concede that yes, crime rates did go down. A paper was written but only published some time after the event in a peer-reviewed journal, accompanied by a rather apologetic addendum. The research that supports the use of Transcendental Meditation to achieve all sorts of positive outcomes is now extensive. Has it (as yet) become a mainstream approach? No.

In what sense then, do I use the term “alternative approach” on this blog? I aim to use it entirely without prejudice, recognising the many and varied approaches that can make a difference in people’s lives. Perhaps an underlying belief that I hold, which may mark me out from the mainstream, is that far more is possible than we often imagine. The myriad of approaches available to us serve to highlight – should we choose to be aware – just what possibilities exist. In this sense, an alternative approach is simply an option and every approach to which I gave airtime on this blog is an option – an alternative approach.

Coaching presuppositions 5: Trying on a presupposition for a day

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In recent weeks, I have been taking time on my blog to explore what it takes to develop a coaching mindset. Having offered some of the presuppositions that can support leaders in developing a coaching style of leadership I went on to offer some exercises for building awareness – of our own presuppositions, of the presuppositions of others.

Today, I offer an exercise to support readers in developing new presuppositions. The exercise is very simple – to “try on” a new presupposition for a day. This could be a presupposition from my October 2008 postings. This could be a presupposition of your own choosing – one that tests you in some way. In times of challenge for example, how about presupposing that your experience is especially designed for your learning, growth and future success?

Choose a presupposition that you’d like to try on for a day. Assuming that your chosen presupposition is true, notice what different thoughts you have and what different actions you take – and with what different outcomes. Take time at the end of the day to reflect on your experiences. Take time with your study partner (if you have one) to explore your experiences and to notice what learning they offer.

Coaching presuppositions: are you playing ‘angels and devils’?

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Recently, I wrote about the coaching presupposition that we are all creative, resourceful and whole. Professional coaches who work to the definition of coaching and who follow the ethical codes of the International Coach Federation agree to hold their clients as creative, resourceful and whole. Leaders who adopt a coaching style also work from this belief.

But what happens when we hold this belief about some people and we don’t hold this belief about others? This is an approach I call ‘angels and devils’. One sign that we might be playing ‘angels and devils’ is when we view the same behaviour differently on the part of two different people. One example of this was the manager whose assessments of his staff seemed to vary depending on how much he liked them. When his top salesman submitted his figures late on a regular basis it was always the manager’s view that this was OK because he was doing so well. The manager was also forgiving of behaviours which were out of line with the team’s agreed values. However, the manager was quick to criticise other team members for the same behaviours, making it clear they were unacceptable.

This approach tended to stimulate criticism of the manager by staff and prompted capable members of the team to look for jobs elsewhere. As a coach, this manager failed to address behaviours in his star players which he would readily discuss with those he didn’t rate. At the same time, this second group did not value his attempts to ‘coach’ them, believing that his coaching was rooted in a distorted view of them.

My question to you today is, are you playing ‘angels and devils’? And with what outcomes? I invite you to reflect on the following questions:

  • What view do you take of different members of your team? To what extent are you able to hold each member of your team as creative, resourceful and whole?
  • What conclusions have you reached about members of your team based on their performance? What other factors affect the extent to which you are able to hold your team members as creative, resourceful and whole?
  • With what level of ease are you able to hold each member of your team as creative, resourceful and whole?

If you are working with a study partner, take time to share your answers with your study partner. You might find it especially valuable to compare your views of staff at different ends of the spectrum. For what reasons are you able easily to hold some of your staff as creative, resourceful and whole? And, thinking of those members of staff you find it hard to hold as creative, resourceful and whole, what would it take for you to hold this presupposition? What would be different in your relationships with your staff if you were able to hold each and every one as creative, resourceful and whole?

Coaching presuppositions: an exercise in self awareness

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Yesterday, I offered an exercise to help you raise your awareness of our presuppositions and how they inform behaviours. Today, I invite you to use the same exercise to bring to conscious awareness the presuppositions you hold: this is an exercise in observing yourself.

Like yesterday’s exercise, this brief exercise can be carried out at the end of the day – perhaps for a few minutes of quiet time in your office or as you travel home. Notice two or three key conversations you have had during the course of the day. If possible choose a variety of conversations with different people. Review each conversation in turn and ask yourself:

  • What did each one of us say and do during each conversation?
  • What did the things I said and did presuppose? On what basis do I hold these presuppositions to be true?
  • What was the impact of these presuppositions both during our conversation and on the outcomes from our conversation?

If you are working with a study partner, take time to share your answers to these questions with your study partner. Ask your study partner to notice what presuppositions are implied by your input into each conversation. Notice where your study partner has reached the same conclusions as you and where your conclusions differ. Take time to explore the differences – what do they tell you about your presuppositions of which you were not already aware?

Repeating this exercise over a number of consecutive days can raise your awareness of the presuppositions you bring to your conversations and of the impact they have on the outcomes that accrue from your conversations.

Coaching presuppositions: an exercise in raising awareness

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If you’ve been reading my postings in recent days, you may be wondering what you can do to become more aware of presuppositions and how they inform our behaviours. I thought I’d take a moment to offer an exercise to help you – with more to come over the coming days.

This exercise is a brief exercise which can be carried out at the end of the day – perhaps as you travel home or for a few minutes of quiet time in your office. It is an exercise in observation – and this in turn can be an exercise in bringing into conscious awareness those things of which you are already aware at some unconscious level. You can take 5 minutes or 50 as follows.

Notice two or three key conversations you have had during the course of the day. If possible choose a variety of conversations with different people. Review each conversation in turn and ask yourself:

  • What did each one of us say and do during that conversation?
  • What did our words and actions presuppose? How do I know?
  • What was the impact of our presuppositions both during our conversation and on the outcomes from our conversation?

If you can, notice the difference between those conversations you view as successful and those conversations you view as unsuccessful.

It can also add to the richness of this exercise if you work with a study partner. If your study partner took part in the same meetings and conversations as you, take time together to ask these questions. If you work in different areas, take time to review one conversation each. In this latter case, when you are observing the observer, notice any presuppositions your study partner may be making as they review their conversation. What do you notice that perhaps your study partner doesn’t?

Repeating this exercise over a number of consecutive days can raise your awareness of the role that presuppositions play in our conversations and of the presuppositions that you and others hold. Over time, you are likely to notice the presuppositions that prevail in your work culture.

Coaching presuppositions 4: Every behaviour has a positive intention

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As I write I am reflecting on the various work environments I have encountered during my life to date. These include environments in which I have been an employee and environments in which I have been a trainer, consultants and coach. They include environments in which I have been a leader and environments in which I have been a member of a team. They include environments in which I have been a volunteer – an unpaid contributor – as well as environments in which I earn my living. What has characterised those environments in which I have felt most free to give of my best? I especially think of those environments, as I ponder this question, in which the prevailing belief has been that, no matter what people do, they do so with a positive intention.

Perhaps it helps to reflect for a moment on those cultures in which this belief is not held. In these environments, the question “why did he do that?” may well be asked. And still, this question does not always imply a desire to understand. Indeed the question may well be discussed around the business without any direct conversation taking place with the individual concerned – without an honest sharing of experience. In this culture people talk about each other but not with each other.

I think with gladness of those environments in which the general assumption is that, no matter how we experience others’ behaviours, every behaviour has a positive intention. I have experienced these as environments in which people look for the good in those they work with, acknowledging their colleagues and everything they bring. I have experienced these as environments in which people take responsibility for their needs, talking with colleagues, giving direct feedback and making clear requests when they would like something to change. It’s not that requests are always granted. And still, I have observed how interacting in this way builds trust and understanding. And I notice that I have had much more fun in these environments even whilst achieving results.

How, then, does this connect with coaching? In what sense is this a valuable presupposition for a coach to adopt? As a starting point for exploring the many outcomes that come from holding this presupposition, I would suggest that, by holding this presupposition about the person (s)he coaches, the coach invites the person seeking coaching to a better understanding of himself. For when we understand the needs we try to meet by our behaviours – including behaviours we may ourselves find frustrating – we open up new options which better meet those needs. This is especially important when we experience inner conflict – for how can we satisfy apparently opposing needs when we don’t know what they are?

Just as understanding their different needs helps those we coach to find new ways to meet those needs, understanding the needs of others with whom they work can help them to find different strategies for communicating with their colleagues. In this way, coaching from the presupposition that every behaviour has a positive intention can be a way of helping those we coach to focus on those areas in which they can take action and to identify those actions they want to take. I would add that, as with other presuppositions, our own integrity in holding this presupposition sets a powerful example to those we coach.

How, then, can you identify the presuppositions you hold or to take action to develop new ones? Keep reading. In the coming days, I’ll be offering some exercises for you in response to these questions.

Coaching presuppositions 3: there’s no failure, only feedback

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David Whyte, in his book The Heart Aroused, tells the story of a conversation between Thomas Edison and his foreman at the time they were working on ways to produce a filament for a lightbulb. Whyte writes:

“Late in his life, Edison was working on a problem of illumination: how to construct a filament for his brand-new electric light bulb, one that would not burn out, as every material he tried seemed to, in the briefest of instants. He had teams of experimenters working on the problem around the clock for months. Finally, the foreman of the works came to him, cap in hand. ‘Mr. Edison, I am sorry to say we have done a thousand experiments and worked thousands of hours to find this filament and I am afraid to say, it has all been for nothing.’ Edison looked back at the man and said, ‘Nonsense, we know a thousand ways in which it doesn’t work!’”

For the foreman, the numerous experiments had all been for nothing – a failure. For Edison, each experiment had yielded new information, providing valuable feedback on ways that didn’t work and allowing the team to focus their attention on finding new approaches.

As much as any other story, this anecdote illustrates what it means to live from the belief that there’s no failure, only feedback. When we allow ourselves the option to try with no guarantee of success, we are likely to be more open to trying out new approaches and to testing whether or not they work. Over time, we become more flexible and adventurous in our approaches and more open to change. Clearly, these are qualities that many employers yearn for in their staff. What’s more, to be able to live with ease at the thought of trying something and finding it doesn’t have the outcome we intend is to create a platform for sustainable health and high performance.

As coaches – whether professional coaches or leaders in the workplace – understanding the principle that there’s no failure, only feedback allows us to come to coaching with an open curiosity. What outcomes is the person seeking coaching wanting? What actions do they want to take? Which of these actions works and which doesn’t? And what’s next? Rather than put those we coach in the wrong, we are able to explore their experiences with them in ways which invite new insights and open up new avenues of exploration.

Coaching from the belief that there’s no failure, only feedback also implies being open to a variety of outcomes from our coaching. If we do not have a need to be “right”, for example, we can give feedback and make observations without any attachment to a particular response. Sometimes the immediate response to feedback may well be a denial or blank incomprehension – to begin with. Given space to reflect, though, as well as a license for our observation to be true and for the individual still to be OK, the person receiving our feedback may well come back and say, yes, I thought about it and I think you may be onto something.

If you would like to learn more about the presuppositions that underpin coaching or to undertake exercises to test and develop your own presuppositions, keep reading. In the coming days, I’ll be exploring additional presuppositions and offering exercises for you.

Coaching presuppositions 2: We can’t change the others, we can only change ourselves

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Be the change you want to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi
Oftentimes our culture teaches us to take responsibility for the impact we have on other people and it follows that other people are responsible for the impact they have on us. In the English language this idea is embedded in such everyday phrases as “he made me really angry” or “she made me laugh out loud”. This language reduces a complex process into cause and effect and places our experience at the effect end of the equation.
There are times when those we coach – be they the clients we coach as professional coaches or the staff we coach as leaders in the workplace – hold the belief that their experience is the outcome of the actions of those around them. This belief can limit personal effectiveness dramatically: as long as an individual’s focus is on identifying those things others should do differently, it is unlikely that anything will change in his life. Lives begin to change when we recognise and act on the belief that – no matter what behaviours others demonstrate towards us – we can’t change the others, we can only change ourselves.
The leader as coach often meets a different presupposition in those he coaches. How often do those we lead focus on the words and actions of others when we seek to engage them in a discussion about their own contribution? How often do they look to us to provide a solution to their desires, e.g. for a promotion or payrise? The leader who shares the belief in his responsibility to make his staff happy is likely, over time, to miss many opportunities to help staff members to help themselves.
The coaching leader, on the other hand, knows that his words and actions have a significant impact on those he leads. And still he recognises that the way his words and actions are received is also a function of the individual with whom he is speaking (of their thoughts, beliefs, values etc.). As a coach, he holds the belief that the outcomes his staff members achieve come from their ability to manage themselves, rather from any ability to change others. By coaching from this belief, he invites staff to focus on those areas in which they can make changes and in this way he helps them to help themselves. In the language of leadership, the word “empowerment” is often (maybe over-) used to describe this phenomenon, whilst professional coaches talk of clients as being “at choice” or even “at cause”.
For a leader to be credible in helping his staff to act from this presupposition, he needs to act from the same belief himself. By focusing on those areas in which he can take action and by choosing his actions with care – as opposed to making vocal complaints about those actions he expects of others that haven’t been taken – he leads by example. This is pacesetting at its most powerful and compelling. And herein lies the paradox that sits behind Mahatma Gandhi’s often repeated invitation to be the change we want to see in the world: that it is by the example we set that we have the greatest influence on the behaviours of others.
If you would like to learn more about the presuppositions that underpin coaching or to undertake exercises to test and develop your own presuppositions, keep reading. In the coming days, I’ll be exploring additional presuppositions and offering exercises for you.