Linking my blog to LinkedIn

Coaching

Now, I am slowly learning a few things about LinkedIn.

Firstly, I am paying attention to the regular status updates that reach me – not too often to be annoying! It’s been a real pleasure to send congratulations to friends and colleagues for their new jobs.

Recently I noticed that one of my clients posts his reading on LinkedIn. As an avid reader, I’ve started to do that, too.

Then I noticed that LinkedIn have introduced a new possibility for adding my blog. What I didn’t realise to begin with is that my blog postings automatically appear as my “status update”. This means they’re visible to anyone who looks at my profile. And I’m guessing they’re also visible to anyone who gets those regular status updates in their in-tray.

Yesterday it was really cool to get an e-mail which started: “I saw your blog posting via your status update on LinkedIn and I thought I’d just…”

I notice I’m starting to “get” the value of LinkedIn and to build my contacts up. Currently, I’m connected to 91 people. And since I’m now proactively sending out invitations this is building over time – something for me to pay attention when I have a few minutes to spare.

Namaste, Giuseppe Verdi

About Dorothy

Sitting on the Barbican’s platform ready to sing Verdi’s Otello I realise I have spent almost half my lifetime as a member of the London Symphony Chorus. An announcement is made in celebration of the award of the Queen’s Music Medal 2009 to our beloved – treasured – conductor, Sir Colin Davis. And then the performance begins.

There are some performances that need no words nor desire them. Rather, they evoke a stillness and a sense of presence such that, leaving the platform at the end of the evening I desire no conversation and quietly gather my belongings to leave.

Something about this performance is such that the exquisite beauty of the whole embraces every tiny flaw and transcends it. Something about this performance is such that to want to mention one performer is to want to mention them all. For how could Anne Schwanewilms have given a performance of such beauty without Verdi’s choice towards the end of his life to compose this work? And what of the other soloists? What, indeed, of every musician involved?

As I travel home, wrapped in my own inner stillness, one word is with me: namaste. Just for tonight I take this word to mean

The musician in me bows to the musician in you.

Restorative Justice – what’s this got to do with work?

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Yesterday I shared some links to Dominic Barter’s work in the field of Restorative Justice. This is something which is both dear to my heart and a long way away from the experience of many of my clients in the workplace. Today I thought I’d take a moment to make some links.

The phrase Restorative Justice implies that something is broken that needs to be restored. It also implies that some injustice has been done that needs to be rectified. I invite you as you read to ask yourself, are these ideas that I associate with the workplace? No matter where you are and what kind of organisation you work for – even one you have set up yourself – I am guessing that you may recognise these ideas.

How often, for example, do the fragile relationships amongst colleagues in the workplace stand in the way of the kind of conversation that could help them to move beyond some current impasse? What more might be possible if only these relationships were founded in honesty, trust, respect?

And how often do people in the workplace have a sense of injustice? This may be in relation to a particular incident or experience. Or it may be in relation to the ongoing culture and practices of the organisation within which they work or of an individual or individuals within that organisation.

If these thoughts ring true to you, you might like to go back to Dominic’s brief interview entitled “What is restored in Restorative Justice?” In it, Dominic points to what he calls “connection”. This, he says, is the thing that is broken and which Restorative Justice seeks to restore. To what does he refer? Some call it communication, relationship, rapport. No doubts other terms are also used.

As I share these brief thoughts I wonder, what need there is in your workplace to restore connection? And what means do you and your colleagues have to achieve this? I do not intend to suggest that Restorative Justice is the way to restore relationships in the workplace (thought it might be). At the same time, I do wonder what our work experience might be like if we all had confidence in a process or in our own skilful means to build, maintain and restore relationships with our colleagues.

I wonder what thoughts you have as you read this?

Restorative Justice – the NVC way

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In 2006 I was privileged to hear Dominic Barter talk about his work in the field of Restorative Justice. Dominic, who is based in and works in Brazil, told the story of a baker who, when he learnt that the man who had killed his son when attempting to steal a loaf of bread had no other way to get food that day, was moved to offer the man a job in his bakery. I find it hard to share this story (as I have done many times) without being moved to tears. This is the power of the kind of deep mutual understanding that can come from Restorative Justice.

What is Restorative Justice? Searching the internet I find a source of information at http://www.restorativejustice.org/. This website offers a set of slides which provide background before offering a definition – an invaluable resource for those who are searching for information. In essence (my brief attempt at a definition) Restorative Justice recognises that there is scope to build understanding between the “offender” and his or her “victim” in ways which repair the damage done – hence the term “restorative” – and that this in turn can have a positive, even healing effect across whole communities. Perhaps the most famous example of Restorative Justice is the Truth and Reconciliation process that took place in South Africa after the ending of apartheid.

I think of this when an e-mail lands in my in-tray from a member of the NVC-UK e-group, a group of committed practitioners of Nonviolent Communication. The e-mail, in response to a query, highlights Dominic’s work and provides sources of information which I decide to include here. They are:

As I write I imagine that some of my readers might be asking “what’s this got to do with us in the workplace?” I’d love to read your thoughts here – and share my own tomorrow.

Coaching and the Paradoxical Theory of Change

Coaching,

Just as I pause to ask myself the question “what next?” an e-mail lands in my in-tray from fellow coach and writer Len Williamson about Arnold Beisser’s Paradoxical Theory of Change. Len offers a brief description of the theory and explores the implications for coaching.

Beisser was a contributor in the field of Gestalt and this is amply reflected in his theory. Still, with or without any exposure to or understanding of Gestalt, it strikes me that Beisser’s theory has the ring of truth. With Len’s permission I offer his brief description here:

Arnold Beisser wrote an article in 1970 entitled ‘The Paradoxical Theory of Change’. In it he stated ‘that change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not’. It is paradoxical in the sense that a person can change and start to become something he is not only when he truly knows what he is. It is a lynchpin of the Gestalt approach and one of the clearest descriptions of an idea originally set out by Fritz Perls.

I will here reflect on what this means in a coaching relationship and invite you to add your own thoughts. An individual who seeks coaching will often state their requirement as a need to change for some reason. It could be to work better with colleagues, gain a promotion or take a new direction in what they do. The role of the coach is to help the individual achieve the change he wants. The Paradoxical Theory of Change tells us that the most powerful way to do this is to help him describe exactly where he is now. By doing so the client gains insight and understanding about the attributes and characteristics he currently exhibits and begins to see how these might get in the way of the change he wants.

In many Gestalt coaching sessions a client will begin to realise that many of the obstacles to the progress he wants are present within who and what he is at that moment. When this occurs it is a great and helpful discovery as the client can be shown that he has control over changing things that are going on inside him. In fact he has much more control over this than he has over the often originally perceived idea that it is something or someone else that is getting in the way.

The other aspect of interest in this theory is the constant flipping of the client between a state he ‘should’ be in and the state he ‘is’ in. Invariably the client is in neither state but hangs somewhere in between. Making the shift to a clear description of what ‘is’ will give the client a powerful grounding from which he can then consider changing.

Finally it is noticeable that the ‘problem’ or ‘need for change’ cited by the client up front is often not the most important thing to fix for the growth and development of the client. It is always related to where the client actually is in that moment. The role of the coach is to help him describe this in as much rich detail as is possible.

Len asks for thoughts and I notice I recognise a great deal of what he says both as a client of coaching (and other approaches) and as a coach. Maybe my thought of thoughts – simple as it is – is that many approaches are in search of the same truths.

I notice that this in turn raises a question for me – how come we find it so hard to stay with these truths, even though they’re there to be had?

When the time is right to offer coaching supervision

Coaching

Discussing decision-making strategies with my clients has, over time, brought my own strategies sharply into focus. Over time I’ve learnt that I make some of my best decisions at the time when they just feel right. It’s not that these decisions are rooted in feeling alone. Rather, this “feels right” moment is often the time when, after much thought, all objections have been satisfied and it’s time to go ahead.

In recent weeks I’ve been a little surprised as one decision starts to feel right. This is the decision to train as a coaching supervisor and to start proactively to offer coaching supervision. It’s not that I didn’t see it coming – even when I embarked on my professional coach training I anticipated that this might be on my forward path. Rather, I didn’t see it coming quite so soon.

By the time I reach the decision the surprise has started to give way to a wry recognition. Wasn’t it always true (well before I became a coach) that people sought me out for mentoring and supervision? This was the kind of role I attracted as a consultant on projects or informally at the request of colleagues. And isn’t it true that such roles continue to seek me out – to tap me on the shoulder – now that I am a coach? It’s the recognition of all sorts of invitations – to act as mentor to coaching colleagues or as lead coach on projects, for example – that bring a dawning realisation that I was always ready to supervise and others were equally ready for me.

What is coaching supervision? Of course, this is something I have decided to explore. For now, though, I see it as a process whereby a coach (or coaches) take time away from coaching to reflect on his or her work and to further his or her development as a coach. As such, the coach’s decision to invest in regular coaching supervision offers some reassurance for the client. As I write I think of the lone practitioner coach, of coaches working in house, of coaches working in teams, of “manager coaches”… and I look forward to working with them all.

Today I have my interview with Colin Brett as part of the process of agreeing to train in coaching supervision with Coaching Development. The interview, by telephone, is both thought-provoking and comfortable. It is not so much a harsh test of my readiness to supervise as a gentle exploration of what lies ahead and how I might prepare. And as we talk I become aware of new layers of emotion that reinforce my decision. For it’s one thing to be quietly aware of my decision and another thing entirely to share it. And as I share it, and let the emotion rise – share it even – I become aware of just how much my decision is a coming home.

I look forward to my training in 2010.

Celebrating my niece on her travels

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Well, it’s all well and good setting yourself up to write a blog whilst you’re away. But the technology we use every day at home is not always available when you’re on your travels.
Yesterday my niece, Rebecca, e-mailed me to ask if I would upload some photos onto her blog. It seems that even now she has the technology at her finger-tips she doesn’t have access to her blog.
I take some time to upload them, one by one. I have positioned myself as the anonymous blogger but my brother Alan is on the case almost immediately and I just don’t have the skill commonly known as “bare-faced lying”. My cover is already blown.
I take a moment to share a photo from Rebecca’s trip here on my own blog. Rebecca is front right and her friend Suzannah is on the left. I don’t know who the young man in the middle is – though probably not the Mongolian monk who features in another of Rebecca’s photos.

How do you change a thought?

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It’s the end of the day and I find myself responding to a question on the Coaching At Work LinkedIn group – a great forum for coaches. There is already a line of responses to Len Williamson’s provocative question: “How do you change a thought?”

I decide to offer a few thoughts of my own before I close at the end of the day:

I smile when I read you say “I am trained in Gestalt (but still learning so much)”. What a different thought this is if you replace the “but” with an “and”!

What a rich diversity of responses, too. I am so grateful to Coaching At Work for providing this place of exchange as well as to you for asking the question and to everyone who has (and has yet to) respond.

A few random thoughts of my own. NVC (Nonviolent Communication) uses feelings as a route to awareness. Why am I angry, sad etc.? The aim is to connect with underlying needs that are or aren’t being met. Also some emotions (anger, guilt, shame etc.) point to a particular way of thinking – that somebody (self or other) has done something “wrong”. A practitioner of NVC understands that thinking this way gives away our power and limits our options.

Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) offers all sorts of ways to change one’s thinking – and so it should! Bandler and Grindler and their followers have set out to beg, borrow and steal (a matter of perspective!) the best that’s out there.

As coaches, don’t we ask loads of questions that invite awareness, open up options, facilitate thinking choices – at the “this thought” and “all thoughts” (meta-programme) level?

Maybe the most liberating thought of all is this: that we get to choose what we think and it’s OK to do so.

Coaching: the best kind of labour of love

Coaching,

It’s the end of a busy week. I have been coaching, as ever. I am in the midst of preparing an assessment report. I have just returned to the office, ready to go through a number of e-mails that have reached me before I sign off at the end of the working week and sign onto the weekend.

This week has also been a week of “chemistry meetings”. This is the process by which a person seeking coaching and their potential coach(es) meet to establish whether or not they are well matched to work together. Typical questions that are on the table during these meetings are “what areas do you want to address through coaching?” “what outcomes would you like from your coaching?” and “what would you like from your coach?” As well as testing whether or not coach and person seeking coaching are well matched, these meetings can help the person seeking coaching to deepen his or her understanding of what he or she is looking for.

Whilst it’s often the coach’s role to hold up a mirror to a client and invite self reflection, in one meeting it’s my turn. The person with whom I’m meeting – potentially my coaching client – tells me that she has the sense that I really enjoy coaching and highlights the passion with which I speak about it.

Even as she asks the question I feel a physical response as tears rise. The truth is, I still find it amazing that I am paid – and handsomely – to do something I love so much.

The gratitude I feel lingers with me as the weekend approaches.

Social networking and the law of attraction

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It’s a busy week this week. As well as my coaching, I have an assessment report to write and all sorts of appointments. One of them seems to me to be pure luxury – for I’m just back from an extended lunch with Michael Crane.

I met Michael soon after I started my own business. Come to that, I met Michael soon after he started his, when I phoned to enquire about his company’s offering as stationery suppliers, early in 2003. I’ve watched Michael’s business grow in the time I’ve known him and I’ve appreciated the service I get from Michael’s team. Matthew, my regular contact, phones me every now and again to say hello and to ask if there’s anything I need. I don’t feel “sold to”. Rather, I feel looked after.

I’ve also watched Michael grow during this time. It’s one thing to buy a bit of stationery, sell it, and deliver it in your one and only van. It’s another thing to grow a business, to employ staff, to create approaches which can be replicated on a large scale… Many entrepreneurs fail to reach this stage. Michael comes to our lunch brimming with excitement and full of learning and of a desire – an eagerness – to learn.

Over a leisurely lunch we talk about the progress of our respective businesses, our plans for the future, the books we are enjoying right now (Michael has enjoyed Goleman’s The New Leaders. I mention my friend Rosie Miller’s book Are You A Badger or a Doormat? Seth Godin gets a look-in, too). And all this whilst our conversation circles round and then settles on a key topic – social networking and the law of attraction.

Michael has been studying the law of attraction via the DVD The Secret and is currently exploring what it means for his approach to building his business. Like me, he is actively starting to explore LinkedIn. We talk about our membership of various LinkedIn groups. Only recently, Michael put his Olympic Goal for his business on his LinkedIn profile – £10 million by 2012. He really is putting it out to the universe.

And I wonder, what is it that attracted Michael and I to go beyond the purely transactional? Surely, this is the law of attraction in action.