Coachability at the Bolshoi ballet

What does it take to be “coachable“? This is the essential question Seth Godin explores in his blog posting of the same name. Follow the link to find out more, including the role that coachability used to play – maybe still plays – in auditions at the Bolshoi Ballet.

For whom is the answer to this question important? As I ponder I imagine that this is an important question for us all. For the coach, it is a question we need to be able to answer when we meet people who want us to support them, so that we can best serve our clients and ourselves by knowing when to say yes and when to say no. For the people who come to us as potential clients it is a question worth being able to answer, for who would want to pay for coaching if they are not also open to the learning that might come with it?

Godin highlights the many roles and relationships in which coaching takes place and as I write I find myself pondering the family as the “advanced school of human relationships”. For the family highlights one aspect of coaching – perhaps above all other: that it is a mutually consensual relationship. Consent in coaching is given based on perceptions of trust, skill, wisdom, insight – the list goes on. Family relationships also depend on mutual consent. No doubt I am drawn to reflect on this at a time when I am recognising the challenges I find in my relationship with my sister.

What then, if you find that your potential client is not coachable? And what if you find that no amount of dialogue with your sibling or other family member opens up trust and mutual consent? I find it worth remembering that we cannot change the others, we can only change ourselves. If the client is not coachable without radical change, if the relationship with a family member is far from working, then it helps to recognise the limits of our power and influence.

As a coach, this might mean saying “no, I’m not here to ‘sell’ you something you don’t want”. In the family this might mean saying “no, I’m not here to force you relate in ways that don’t work for you”. It might also mean saying, “given I’m offering you something that doesn’t work for you and you want something that doesn’t work for me, I’m choosing to invest my energy elsewhere”. As harsh as this may seem, it can also be the ultimate act of love for self and for other.

Towards outstanding leadership

If you’ve been reading my postings under the heading Leadership: more than skin deep, you may be wondering what to do next. Here are a few suggestions:

Whether you are reflecting on your own leadership or on leadership across your organisation, you may be wondering what it would take to develop the level of leadership that shows up in research as “outstanding”. Below I offer a few suggestions:

Taking stock: Why not take stock of where you are now? I have offered two sets of questions on my blog (http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com) to help you take stock. One is for individual leaders and one is for readers who are taking a whole organisation view of leadership development. Alternatively, why not call me to arrange a coaching appointment? My contact details are below.

Choosing your leadership approach: Whether you are an individual leader or responsible for leadership across your organisation it’s possible that your leadership approach is shaped by accident and history as much as by conscious and informed choice. If so, why not take time to conduct some research of your own into different approaches to leadership to determine whether the approach you are pursuing will give you the results you want?

Get curious! I have offered a range of reading and other resources elsewhere on my blog, at http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com. I invite you to get reading and to add your own recommendations to the blog using the facility to leave comments.

Share your views: I welcome your views. Please share your views and comments on the blog at http://dorothynesbit.blogspot.com where you’ll also find further information about my work with leaders and my wider interests.

Let’s talk: If you’d like to discuss how Learning for Life (Consulting) can help you and your organisation please contact me directly (via dorothy@learningforlifeconsulting.co.uk) to arrange to talk.

Leadership: more than skin deep (5 of 5)

What benefits could justify the level of investment needed?

Measuring the outcomes from your investment in leadership development requires a meticulous approach beginning from the planning stage. This is costly and is rarely done. Nevertheless, it is possible to observe the effects of outstanding leadership on organisations. These include:

Improved business outcomes: By definition, outstanding leadership delivers the holy grail of outcomes: improved business results. The potential is not only for some kind of percentage improvement but for a step difference in performance outcomes. These are the organisations that stand out in their field as unequalled, delivering a standard of excellence that sets the benchmark. What’s more, these are the organisations whose performance levels are sustainable because excellence is built in to what they do.

A culture that supports high performance: Outstanding leaders deliver improved performance outcomes by creating a culture and climate which support high performance. You can expect that improvements in leadership across your organisation will lead to increased staff engagement. Outstanding leaders attract outstanding staff to jobs to which they are well suited. These are staff who are ambitious to deliver and who continue to learn. They may not stay forever – some will move on to more senior jobs elsewhere. Still, whilst they are with you they will make a significant contribution to performance outcomes in your organisation.

Work as play: For the kind of staff I have described working in a culture and climate which supports high performance, work has the potential to become play. In the word of Kahlil Gibran, “work is love made manifest”. In these environments, the prevailing values and beliefs of staff create a highly supportive and trusting environment in which people collaborate willingly and with ease and in which the natural processes of work are filled with fun even whilst “delivering the goods”.

Health and well-being: The language of performance improvement can tend to gloss over the deeply personal experience of the individual at work. Improved leadership leads directly to a greatly improved personal (“human”) experience, including far greater personal fulfilment, health and well-being amongst leaders and their staff.

Leadership: more than skin deep (4 of 5)

What does it take to bridge the gap between theory and practice?

Clarify desired outcomes: For organisations in which there is a commitment to bridge the gap between theory and practice, holding a clear intention to understand what differentiates the most outstanding leaders and to develop leadership across your organisation in line with these findings is a common starting point. This implies understanding leadership theory and its implications for your organisation.

Start from where you are: Whether we are talking about individuals or organisations, the kind of leadership described by researchers becomes possible when we go beyond surface behaviours to adopt and practise values, beliefs, thoughts and behaviours that are aligned both with the theory of leadership and with who we are. This takes a clear intention and plenty of time, planning steps which take account of where you’re starting from.

Take action in every area of current practice: At an organisational level, successfully bridging the gap between your current practice and your aspirations for the future permeates every aspect of your current practice, from recruiting people who have the clear potential to develop in line with your chosen leadership approach, through creating a climate which supports leaders in their development to providing the support leaders need for their learning. Looking at developing leadership in this holistic (“whole organisation”) way can make the difference between a temporary shift in leadership style and an ongoing and sustained progression across the organisation.

Take account of the needs of the learner: The initiatives organisations commission need to take account the reality of learning for individual leaders, including their most talented individuals. This learning can stimulate a great deal of emotion for people who may not be well schooled in acknowledging or managing their emotions. At the same time, being present to their emotional and other responses is an important part of the learning journey for men and women in leadership roles. Refusing to be present to the challenges that face them on their learning journey (including the inner voices, often known as “gremlins”, that tell them not to make changes) can keep even the most talented individuals “stuck”.

Choose your partners wisely: If you’re serious about bridging the gap between leadership theory and practice, you will choose your partners wisely. These may include recruitment consultants, leadership trainers, executive coaches and more. Especially when it comes to your partners in learning it is not enough to brief them on your aspirations: your partners (trainers, coaches etc.) need to embody the learning you aspire to for leaders across your organisation. As well as choosing your partners with care, you need to reach clear agreements with each partner. The agreements you reach are in themselves an embodiment of the approach you aspire to as well as providing the foundations for a working partnership which successfully supports you in making progress towards your goals.

Leadership: more than skin deep (3 of 5)

Leadership development: up close and personal

Early in her life, Susan’s* mother told her “if you want to succeed in your career, you need to outshine all the men around you”. Throughout her career, Susan took care to measure herself against her male peers and to be sure to surpass them in a number of areas of performance.

Susan’s drive and determination made her an asset to her employing organisation and she was rapidly promoted to a senior level. At the same time, her intense effort often exceeded the level of investment needed to achieve her goals and she started to suffer from exhaustion. What’s more, Susan’s leadership style was such that even her most senior staff depended on her for answers to the team’s most significant questions. Susan often felt anxious about taking a break, knowing that her staff depended on her so much. She was also unaware that, by positioning herself as the ultimate source of answers, she was limiting the team’s performance in line with her own limitations.

It took the curiosity, compassion and insight of her doctor to help Susan to identify the link between her behaviours as a leader and her mother’s early advice. Listening to her doctor’s questions, Susan was immediately able to understand that yes, there was a link. Something was driving her behaviour of which she had previously been unaware. At the same time, understanding the link was only the beginning: it was the help of a skilled Executive Coach that enabled Susan to adjust her values and beliefs to support a new leadership approach.

John* joined his organisation from school and worked his way up the career ladder. By the time he was eligible to participate in his employer’s leadership development programme he was already well schooled in the official and unofficial rules of the business.

John came away from the programme with a clear understanding of the impact across the organisation of a largely coercive and pacesetting style of leadership. Leaders exemplified excellence and expected others to emulate them. They often gave orders and rarely took the time to get to know their employees, seek their views and opinions or provide feedback and coaching support. During a period of rapid growth, there had been some benefits to this approach. However, John recognised its limitations and decided to develop his repertoire of styles to provide a clear vision for the future and coaching support for his staff.

Back at work, John found the reality of this journey far more challenging than the theory. He recognised that there was a gap at times between his aspiration and his practice (or “theory in use”). Even when he was seeking to provide coaching support, his direct reports were wary at times, accustomed to his former style and lacking trust in the changes he was beginning to make. The fact that he was learning and his coaching style was inconsistent contributed to the unease of staff members.

What’s more, John was under pressure from his own line manager to push for business results which he thought were unrealistic in a challenging business climate. After a while, John used his learning to begin a search for a new employing organisation in which the predominant leadership style was more closely aligned to his aspirations as a leader.

Susan and John’s stories illustrate both the deeply personal nature of leadership development and the challenges of adapting your leadership style in an organisation. Together, these examples begin to point the way to the steps organisations need to take if they’re serious about bridging the gap between leadership theory and the day-to-day practices of leaders in their organisations.

*Susan and John are fictional characters designed to illustrate the nature of leadership development. Any likeness with specific individuals is unintended.

Leadership: more than skin deep (2 of 5)

Given the clarity of the theory, why does so much leadership development fail to “hit the spot”?

From parenting, via education to leadership, it’s rare for people and organisations to dig beneath the surface and identify a fundamental and integrated set of beliefs, values, thoughts and behaviours to which they make an ongoing commitment. Many efforts to develop leaders are not rooted in a clear understanding of research findings and may even be rooted in beliefs and behaviours which are in some way internally inconsistent. No wonder then, that many attempts to support leaders in their development fail to hit the spot! This is about the foundations which underpin leadership development programmes and other interventions.

Why isn’t this gap obvious to those who commission leadership development programmes or participate in them? One reason is that many programmes are limited in their scope so that participants never identify the inconsistencies within a programme. As well as the failure to identify a fundamental and coherent leadership philosophy, limitations also include training at a behavioural level only and failing to provide sustained support to leaders’ development over time.

Perhaps the most significant reason why so much of leadership development fails to hit the spot is because the parties involved – from commissioning clients, their partners in leadership development and the leaders themselves – fail to voice and acknowledge one of the fundamental truths of leadership development: that developing as a leader is deeply personal and involves exploring personal values, beliefs and behaviours. This can mean that development programmes are designed without taking into account the nature of the journey and what it takes to support participants as they learn.

Leadership: more than skin deep (1 of 5)

My newsletter went out last week and I decided to share the article I wrote here on my blog in chunks – this is my first chunk.

Given the abundance of research into what differentiates the most outstanding leaders, why does leadership practice fall so far short of the theory? And what are the implications for organisations as they plan for the development of their leaders?

Outstanding leadership: what does the theory tell us?

In 1960, Douglas McGregor proposed a simple theory of leadership, in his book The Human Side of Enterprise, which has become commonly known as the XY Theory. According to his theory, leaders fall broadly into two types. The X-type manager believes that staff dislike work and will avoid it if they can, relying on the threat of punishment to compel staff to work. The Y-type leader believes that effort in work is as natural as work and play and trusts staff to apply self-direction in pursuit of organisational goals. Both types of leader, according to McGregor’s theory are “right”: their beliefs predict the behaviour of staff over time.

More recently, Daniel Goleman has shared a view of effective leadership in his book The New Leaders which outlines a range of leadership styles which the most effective leaders are able to draw on to meet the needs of the situation. Goleman and his co-authors draw on rigorous academic research which has been widely tested in organisations.

These are just two models of effective leadership amongst many and have in common an underlying belief that people are self-motivated and can be relied on, with the right support, to draw on their own resources to work effectively. This is a theme which Daniel Pink has explored, drawing on research findings, in his recently published book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.

Moments in history

So much of our life experience is a reflection of where we put our attention, so that it’s interesting to consider what our news tells us about our national psyche. Some would say that it’s always the same old news. Some might even say it’s always the same old bad news. Tonight, though, as I go to bed, I am somehow enlivened by the day’s news.

For the first time since 9/11 the nation’s airports are closed to airborne traffic and for (what seems to me to be) the quirkiest of reasons: the drifting cloud of volcanic ash from Iceland. Now, I must confess I am putting aside the opportunity to focus on the distress of the nation’s flyers even whilst recognising that for some this has been considerable. For in the long run, isn’t it quite cool to be able to say: “do you remember that time when we were due to fly to xyz and our flight was cancelled because of volcanic ash?” Besides which, even volcanic experts have to have their day. It might be a while before another opportunity comes up for them.

And then there was the UK’s first televised debate between the leaders of the three main political parties, 50 years after the USA first held televised debates between presidential candidates. I say hurrah! What better way to address the nation in the run-up to an election. I hope that this will set a precedent for every future election. And hey! Quirky or what?! ITV’s poll, whose first results were announced within 30 minutes of the end of the debate, showed that Nick Clegg, leader of our third party, the Liberal Democrats, came out as the overall winner in the minds of viewers and with a considerable margin. Putting aside the distress of some of his political opponents I think that that, too, is news worth celebrating.

Moments in history…

Learning for Life (Consulting): the research and development team

Back from a week’s “staycation”, I am pleased to be pursuing an agenda of business development which supports my need to deliver outstanding value to my clients. Marketing is inherently a dialogue, so that I have been shaping the remit for a “Research and Development Team” for Learning for Life (Consulting) which I share here.

Maybe you will be amongst the people I invite to join this team. Maybe this is an idea you can adapt and pursue to support your own busines and career plans:

Purpose of the R&D Team

The R&D Team exists to support the development of Learning for Life (Consulting) as a successful business which maximises its contribution to its clients and sustains me, Dorothy Nesbit, in the role of Director.

About the R&D Team

Team members reflect those relationships (friends, family, colleagues and clients) and interests (leadership, coaching, NLP, NVC, Skilled Facilitator Approach etc.) which are most important to me in my life as well as in the role of Director of Learning for Life (Consulting).

Members of the R&D Team are all people who are able to recognise and sponsor in me that I am naturally creative, resourceful and whole and people who have an emotional investment in:

  • My learning, well-being and success;
  • The progress, performance and success of Learning for Life (Consulting) Ltd; and
  • The contribution Learning for Life (Consulting) Ltd has to make to its clients.

Membership of the R&D Team is by invitation and is offered on a voluntary (unpaid) basis.

Principles and values

The R&D Team is rooted in a fundamental principle: that it meets the needs of team members to contribute as well as my needs to invite your contribution. I invite you to contribute willingly and joyfully when it meets your needs to do so and to know when it doesn’t meet your needs to contribute. As the owner of the team I recognise that there will be times when you feel moved to contribute or have particular expertise to offer and other times when you don’t have time, an interest or expertise in a particular area. I support this.

It’s my aim, as leader of the R&D Team to embody the principles and values I aspire to in my life and in my work with clients. You will find a statement of my personal mission statement and my values on my blog under the heading Coaching: about your coach.

Your membership of this team is based on your willingness to contribute and your generosity in contributing. In return, I invite you to make use of any ideas, learning etc. that you experience as a result of your membership of this R&D team. Please acknowledge this team as the source of ideas where appropriate. I also request that you maintain confidentiality in terms of the content of the team’s work and its discussions.

How can you contribute as a member of the R&D Team?

As a member of the R&D Team you will receive regular communication from me about my current areas of focus. This will be via [LinkedIn? Ning? To be decided].

In addition, I will make requests of you when I would value your input, taking care to be as specific as I can be in the contributions I request of you. These requests will be guided by the need and designed to meet that need in ways which are most likely to contribute to me and to Learning for Life (Consulting) without being onerous for members of the R&D Team. This implies ongoing learning about what works and what doesn’t work. Contributions might include:

  • Invitations to online discussions with other members of the group;
  • Invitations to review plans and other documents and make comments;
  • Invitations to take part in research;
  • Invitations to hold one to one discussions or group meetings.

How might you benefit from being a member of the R&D Team?

I am keen for your membership of the R&D Team to be of benefit to you and curious about what benefits will accrue to you as a result of your membership of this team. At the same time, I hope that joining the team will be of benefit to you as much as it is of benefit to me.

I am guessing that benefits to team members will fall under the following broad headings:

  • Staying in contact: Whether or not you join this team, I value my relationship with you. I hope your membership of the R&D team will be one of the ways we stay connected;
  • Contributing to me and my progress – with ease: You have already contributed to me and that’s why you are a member of this team. I hope that being a member of the R&D team makes it easy to make the contribute you like in ways which really support me;
  • Your creativity and learning: I’m guessing that belonging to an R&D team like this may stimulate all sorts of learning and ideas for you, both in relation to the way the team works and in relation to the content of the work we do together.

The essence of leadership

Recently author, marketeer, blogger and all round “good bloke” Seth Godin wrote about Finding Your Brand Essence on his blog. His comments, which I capture below (with amendments to the formatting and a typo or two removed) resonated with me:

I got an email from someone who had hired a consulting firm to help his company find their true brand selves. They failed. He failed. He asked me if I could recommend a better one. My answer: The problem isn’t the consultant, it’s the fact that if you have to search for a brand essence, you’re unlikely to find one. Standing for something means giving up a lot of other things, and opening yourself to criticism. Most people in the financial services industry (or any industry, actually) aren’t willing to do that, which is why there are so few Charles Schwabs in the world. First, decide it’s okay to fail and to make a ruckus while failing. THEN go searching for the way to capture that energy and share it with the world. Clothes don’t make the man, the man makes the man. Clothes (and the brand) just amplify that.

I shared them with Lynne and Kathy – my coaching team. Kathy recommended Godin’s book Linchpin and I added it straight away to my Amazon wishlist. Lynne wrote (which also resonated with me):

What popped in my mind is Wayne Dyer’s revelation that “you aren’t in charge of your own reputation.” And the subsequent freedom of that. People are going to think what they think, based largely on a whole bunch of stuff that you don’t control, like their own experiences and perspectives and filters. What counts is that you find the solidity of the truth within you, and stand on it and for it, no matter what anybody else thinks. There’s never a crowd on the leading edge.

Reading both Seth’s and Lynne’s words I am struck by the implications of their words. To me, they suggest we are all leaders and we get to choose what leadership messages we share. It’s not that everyone will follow – and still, we lead.